So we were discussing this over at the 100 Lb. Club, and I thought, hey, who better to ask than maintainers?
Do you ever perceive yourself as thinner and stop doing those automatic things you used to do when you were fat? As an example, one person still turns sideways to go through the turnstile. Another person still checks out booths thinking he can't fit. I keep choosing the large float belt for water aerobics even though I have to cinch it up all the way (I did try a medium last week, which worked great, but I almost hyperventilated thinking about trying it). And I still pull the seatbelt on a plane out all the way before buckling because I think it won't fit around me.
At what point do you quit doing these things, if ever?
Good question...it will be interesting to see how others answer this.
I'm almost 4 years at my maintenance weight plus or minus 10 pounds (currently minus ) and some things haven't changed a bit. I still look in the mirror and thin "yuk, my thighs a fat and my stomach isn't flat", but I have finally learned to head for the correct size on the clothing racks. That took about a year. I would automatically walk to the largest sizes and get annoyed that there weren't any of whatever I wanted left in size 16 or 18, then be startled to remember that I now wear a 6 or 4, and hahaha...there aren't any of whatever left in that size either because the stores only order 1 in size 4!
I remember the smaller sizes that I now wear looked impossibly tiny to me 5 years ago. How did an actual human fit into them? Now I hold up my jeans when I pull them out of the laundry and think " Man on man, is my a$$ really THAT big?" So some things never change....The measureable reality changed, but my perception of it hasn't.
After about 2 years, and really seriously for the last 6 months after I lost another 10 pounds, I've been playing with clothes. I think it took that long to be comfortable wearing stylish, form-fitting clothing that draws attention to me rather than hides me.
It's only been in the last year or so that I don't hide from cameras.
so....I guess I'd say it took about 3 years for me, but parts of my head are still a fat lady
Mel, you should move to New York City! I'm not exaggerating when I say that most stores, especially small boutiques, don't even bother stocking *anything* over a size 6 or a Medium. It's interesting, because one store location catering mostly to New York residents will stock only tiny sizes, while another location of the same store in an area largely (ha! typed this by accident!) populated by tourists WILL stock larger sizes.
It's a frustration to me now when I could actually fit in that unstocked Large or XL (as opposed to only shopping in the two plus-size places in the city) but I suspect eventually I won't mind.
No wonder I started losing weight when I moved here!
Location: in a little house in a funny little city
Posts: 5
I don't know if you ever forget, but when you remember or catch yourself doing something habitual it must be a refreshing moment. A couple years ago I went from 206 to 156, and became very used to wearing mediums and less than size 12 pants... not that I've gained almost 20 back, I'm slowly inching up the way to size large and 14/16 again which I find very scary.
I used to be heavy enough where I needed to HOIST myself up from sitting, usually with the help of leaning on something with a hand, and FALL into chairs when sitting. I have bad knees, so I just didn't have (or felt I had) control when sitting, and strength enough when rising.
Despite the fact that I weigh literally half of what I used to, I still don't use only my legs 100% of the time when sitting down and getting up. I try to remind myself to, but that's been an incredibly hard habit to break.
I do have to remind myself when clothes shopping that I might be able to wear the next size down from what I bought last time, and try it on, but I can't say I've ever headed for the wrong section of the rack entirely. I also find so much joy in NOT needing to turn sideways, or being able to fit into a chair with arms, or whatever, that it was fairly easy to drop those habits when it they were no longer necessary. Sometimes I misjudged the amount of space needed or whatever, but never as if I'd not lost any weight at all.
Interesting question, Shelia! For me, fat perception has been something that’s gradually changing and I’m sure it will continue to evolve as I get further and further away from being fat. It’s taken time to get comfortable in this brand new body.
After I reached goal, no one recognized me - not even my own father and people who had known me for 20+ years - and I didn’t even recognize myself when I looked in the mirror. So I felt like I was living in a stranger’s body. I spent too much time staring at myself in the mirror, just trying to figure out who I was. It’s hard to describe how bizarre it was to look in the mirror at a Meg who didn’t look like the Meg I had been all my life.
Time acclimated me to the ‘new me’ and now when I look at photos of the old me, it’s like looking at a stranger. So over time my self-image gradually caught up with the mirror. I’m sure I would have to go through the same wrenching shift in self-perception if I were ever to gain back the weight (which I’m not going to!).
My experiences with clothes have been like Mel’s – at first, I automatically headed for the large sizes and had to run the rack down through the sizes before I finally would try on something that fit. I guess Pittsburgh’s a lot more like Philly than NYC because we only get one size 4 in any style also! I’ll never forget the first time I fit into a size 4 dress and the sales clerk said to me: ‘oh since you’re a 4, you know that you have to grab these fast’ And I replied that I had never been a 4 before, so thanks for telling me!!! Oh happy day!
I still pull my jeans out of the dryer and think they couldn’t possibly fit – but they do. But my size perception has changed, like Mel’s … my pants used to be so much bigger than DHs, so his looked really small, and now that mine are smaller, his pants look enormous!
Now that it’s been more than three years since goal, I think I move around in my life like a normal weight person. Which is not to say that I’ll ever forget what it felt like to be miserable and obese!! But I’m pretty comfortable in my new, small–size body now and don’t find myself reflexively doing the things that I used to do when I was heavy to compensate for my size or lack of mobility.
But I still get a thrill when I can dash up a flight of stairs without being winded or squeeze through a very narrow space between two pieces of equipment at the gym!
Hi Sheila! I can honestly say that this strange little phenomenon has finally started to diminish somewhat for me. At first I was clueless in the clothing stores, I didn't know where I was supposed to start. Even now, when I pick out what I know to me my size, it looks dauntingly small and I'm still pleasantly surprised when I realize that it actually fits! Size perception has been a major issue that I am finally starting to overcome. At first, when faced with a smallish space or situation I automatically avoided it because in my mind, of course I wouldn't fit, I never have before! Then I slowly started "testing the waters", allowing myself to try slipping through a tight space, and being completely shocked when I found that in most cases I even had some room to spare! Now, when I'm faced with a small space I don't automatically think I won't fit anymore, but I do still pause, and then I'll go for it anyway, knowing in my mind that yes, I really do fit now. This has definitely been an interesting process, and a completely unexpected and surprising side effect of major weight loss. But I think as time goes on, the inside will eventually catch up with the outside, and even though I know I'll never forget what living life as an obese person feels like, I do hope that this "new normal" will become more natural and not so much of an issue for me.
Sheila, I'm not really "maintaining" as I've never actually reached what I consider my goal, but I've had the major weight off for some years now (with ups and downs) and I can comment that the "perception" you speak of does diminish, but maybe doesn't totally go away, at least for most people, IMO. That might be a good thing, though, as it keeps us on our toes ... as long as we're aware that it's somewhat of a flawed perception and don't obsess.
I think a key factor in managing how we feel about our changing bodies is to keep records so we can often review where we've been and see actual numbers ... numbers don't lie! Another big factor is exercise! Resistance exercise, especially, can really help us get in touch with our bodies and get a more positive take on the size and shape we REALLY are, not what our minds want us to believe.
It's important, in my opinion, to work on this "perception" ... forcing ourselves to choose the smaller jeans (or in your case the smaller float belt) and working through the anxiety it can cause.
Fat Perception--Does It Ever Go Away?
) and some things haven't changed a bit. I still look in the mirror and thin "yuk, my thighs a fat and my stomach isn't flat", but I have finally learned to head for the correct size on the clothing racks. That took about a year. I would automatically walk to the largest sizes and get annoyed that there weren't any of whatever I wanted left in size 16 or 18, then be startled to remember that I now wear a 6 or 4, and hahaha...there aren't any of whatever left in that size either because the stores only order 1 in size 4! 
Another big factor is exercise! Resistance exercise, especially, can really help us get in touch with our bodies and get a more positive take on the size and shape we REALLY are, not what our minds want us to believe.
