For the last two years I have maintained a 6 stone (84 lb) weight loss while struggling to lose another 10 or so pounds. While people were generally supportive during the weight loss process, they now find my behaviour obsessive. The continued stringent diet I need to stay at my present weight is viewed as an eating disorder by some and my commitment to daily exercise excessive and odd. I know that I need to live like this to stay healthy and thanks to this site and kind advice in the LWL forum from Meg and Mel I know its not just me.

I don't know how I would have felt if I had realised at the start that the "diet" would never end but now I know that for me there is no going back.

Meg, here -here! Sears will tell the truth. So will David Katz. But others, too are piping up. Maintenance is hard.

But it's doable.

And it's worth it.

Yes, I'm pretty much hungry all the time. Yes, I eat very few calories. Yes, I'm cold, have a low heart rate, and have to exercise constantly. No, I don't always want to do these things. And yes, the weight creeps on so very easily.

But does any of that compare with the pain and danger of being morbidly obese?

No. No way.

Hunger and exercise are just not the horrors they are cracked up to be.

Lifetime Obesity Management. Right on, sister! I thought about making up a T-shirt: "I am Obese.... Until they find a cure." But I figured I wouldn't sell very many.

But you get the point, right? I don't ever get to turn my back on obesity.

J..

Well...before everyone who is still trying to lose those 'ell-bees' gets all depressed reading some of the posts from others here...I just wanted to stand up and give the long-termer's POV. Summing up in four words or less: IT DOES GET EASIER OVER TIME. Okay, that was six words, because I dropped those last couple in on a whim.

As most of you probably already know, I'd been on diets since I was 7 years old - yo-yo-ing up and down the scale, until I reached my high weight of 265 pounds back in early 1990 (it might have been higher than that in 1989, but I didn't go NEAR a scale for at least a year prior to that, as I recall). I was selected for a Stanford University study on weight loss maintenance - my group started in May 1990. At the end of the 18 month study, I was down to 177 pounds. From there, I floated down (with some ups) to my current weight of 146 (as of this morning). My lowest weight was 143, but I find it very difficult to maintain below 145, and since I'm lookin' pretty good in the range of, say, 145-150, I don't really stress about it too much.

Now as far as the being hungry all the time, the being cold all the time, the need to exercise constantly - well, yup, there WAS a time when I WAS constantly hungry - but in doing journaling, I've found that a lot of that 'hunger' wasn't 'stomach hunger' but rather 'head hunger'. And especially during the study, I was cold a LOT - naturally since I was used to carrying around a lot more blubber as padding (Since the first part of the study took place during the summer, I did look quite odd wearing sweaters in August!). I can't REMEMBER the last time that's happened - my body has, I think, adjusted to its current weight for the most part.

As far as keeping my calories low - I remember I DID monitor my calorie intake for some time during and after the study. Occasionally, if I feel I might be eating a bit too much, I'll use Fitday for a day or two and log my eating intake. Not very often though. I have no idea how many calories I consume in a day, but I do have a habit of eating pretty much from what I call my list of 'staples' - a mental list of different foods that are pretty much the bulk of my diet - eggs, cottage cheese, oatmeal, fruit in season, chicken breasts, the occasional steak and fish, and lots of salad! I do eat other foods, generally on the weekends, and I have been known to grab a couple of Tootsie Rolls out of my horse trainer's candy bowl. But generally, I don't count calories.

As far as the exercise thing - I do exercise a LOT, but at this point it's a part of my life that I look forward to and enjoy. If you had told me 15 years ago that I would be looking FORWARD to getting up at 3:45 and hitting the gym at 4:15 or so, I'd have said you were absolutely nuts - but it's true! And this summer, I've added Pilates and Yoga to my routine 2-3 nights a week. Of course, there's also the riding I do - but that's totally for fun. At 265 pounds I would have never considered riding a horse - not that I don't know people that size or larger who DO ride, but I would personally have felt like a big, fat blob astride a horse (especially an Arabian horse).

What am I trying to say here?!?! (good question!) I think it comes back to this - IT DOES GET EASIER WITH TIME! I get the idea that most of the 'maintenance' studies have only been done with people who have maintained their weight loss for a shorter period of time, say five years or less. My personal, unscientific impression, based on what I've read, is this: perhaps once you've been 'not-fat' for a long period of time, your body starts getting accustomed to being at the 'not-fat' level. Sort of like the setpoint theory. That's not to say that I'm going to become complacent and fall back into old habits - like my old ones of going to McDonald's and ordering a bunch of hamburgers, 2 large fries and 2 shakes (so the cashier would think I wasn't going to eat all that stuff by myself, which I was...) or eating half of an extra-large Round Table combo pizza in one sitting, or spending an evening in front of the TV with a half-gallon of Dreyers' Mocha Almond Fudge eating unconciously until my spoon scraped the bottom of the carton...nope, don't see that happening, because I won't LET it happen, and I have no desire to do those things anymore...my life has changed 360 degrees since then! and it's all good!!!

Well I have to say I enjoy reading about the experiences of maintainers. I do feel that I am in this for whatever it takes and that idea doesn't bother me at all right now. So sure I may need to up my intensity of workouts once I get to the weight I find comfortable or even be more careful about what I eat, but my physical and mental health is worth the effort I think.

Alberta:

Would someone call a diabetic obsessive because they go for a daily walk and avoid junky carbs and test their blood a few tmes a day? My dad does that and I call it trying his best to stay alive to see his grandkids.

Do we call an athlete obsessed because they wake up at 4:30 every morning to do some training andbecause they eat the same type of smoothie each morning to get their day started. I call it striving for excellence.

So when we skip the afternoon snackies at work (or eat some fruit, cc or whatever instead), exercise, and eat our non-processed foods we're obsessed? I don't think I am obsessed, I am just realistic. We have to manage our obesity, even if we're now thin. So I don't think you're obsessed at all. Congrats on the WL!! Maybe those co-workers are jealous at your resolve or maybe they think you make them look bad or maybe they think you're judging them. Just tell them you're doing this for you, you're happy.

Think about it this way, all of us here have been obese, so it's not like we're trying to prevent a possibility of it since our Aunt Martha was obese: we've been there before, our chances of becoming obese again with our old eating habits is basically 100%. If you want to treat yourself once in a while do it on your own terms (I always feel more in control when I chose when to have the occasional splurge).

Cheers!

Ali

Amen.

Mel

I am continually inspired and motivated by this group, and I thank you for the gifts of your experience, wisdom and generosity. You guys rock and I am most decidedly feeling the love!

"I personally don’t care what the statistics say — this is MY life"

that is so amazing! say it again "this is MY life" everytime someone gets on your back about exercising too much, not eating enough, here just have one donut, you're no fun. i'll tell you what's no fun, no i wont, you aleady know know what's no fun about being fat, obese, overweight, pick your adjective.
the thing about statistics is that they are not all created equal. there are things you can't control, like when you toss a coin there's a 50% chance it will be heads and you can't do anything about that. but stats based on behaviour are different because they only tell what is likely to happen if you behave the way most people do. well you don't have behave like everyone else, you can be anyway you chose to be. it's YOUR life not every other overweight person's life.
the beginning and the end of the whole story is in your head, not at the gym, not in the fridge, not at the store, not at the doughnut plate at work. it's all right up there, your most precious organ of all.

thanks meg and everyone else who are such inspirations and great supporters, i know my life has changed dramatically in the last few months, for the better and i'm betting foreever
gen

That's part of the problem. People who think you obsess about dieting and exercise, or those diet saboteurs who constantly think you're not eating enough, they've never been fat and lost weight. So they don't know what's not fun about it. They'll most likely be the first ones to tell you that you need to lose weight, and the first to tell you that you're being obsessive about it. Easier just to point to that donut and say, "You gonna eat that or just obsess over it?"

lessofsarahtolove said:

I second that emotion!!

Megster -- Where's that book young lady!!

Hey everyone

In general, I would say I've had a lot of people ask me about what I'm doing and really interested and supportive. I'm not ashamed of my diet and it isn't something way out there or extreme. Occassionally though you will get a few people who will say such things as "you don't need to diet" or "c'mon eat some white rice/mashed potatoes/white bread/ice cream/buttered popcorn (I was offered this today), it won't kill you" and my response is "I can't" but really it is "I won't". It may not kill me singly but cumulatively it is against my goals. I'm not perfect and I may indulge in some things once in a while, but I have to make it worth it and make it a rare occassion.

Someone mentioned in another thread low carb cheesecake from Ruby Tuesday's and I looked it up, 400 calories a lot but I may have to indulge sometime this weekend

It's funny - I don't have that problem at work for the most part. Just about everyone here is on some kind of diet or eating regimen - I think 30% of the 9th floor is on SBD or Atkins. Wednesdays here are 'fruit day' - unless it's a short week, the company has fruit brought in - usually bananas and some other type of fruit (this week it was grapes and bananas). Here on the 8th floor, the fruit is generally gone by noon on Weds, but I bet if I went to the 9th floor right now, at 3 pm on Thursday, there will still be quite a lot of fruit left! And a lot of Laughing Cow Cheese in the fridge...

It's the "Silent Saboteurs" that are the big problems here at my work - the people who bring in cakes or cookies, and leave them in the kitchen next to the coffee machine...or worse yet, the people who insist on keeping candy baskets or jars on their desks and make sure they're filled using huge Costco bags of chocolate. Lord knows, noone NEEDS the stuff! And after reading a book titled "Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers" and reading this:

well, there's ANOTHER good reason not to be the Candy Lady...(sorry - it's one of my pet peeves!)

I don't even think we HAVE a Ruby Tuesday's around here! There's a Cheesecake Factory, but it's in the City (San Francisco). Jim and I have been to the one in Coconut Grove in Miami though. Couldn't beLIEVE those portions!!!

Oh yeah Cheesecake factory has some huge portions and their food isn't notable IMO, but their cheesecake is really good. I remember eating a triple chocolate cheesecake there once and it was so rich, I couldn't even finish half. I had gone there just for cheesecake (I laughed at nutrition!) so I hadn't eaten anything else.

I think the first time we went to CF, we never even made it to the cheesecake, due to lack of room.

Talk about portions...Jim ordered a Shepherd's Pie and it looked like an entire sheep was in there! And my salad was as big as Mt. Everest!!!

Nelie, Ruby's low carb cheesecake is pretty good. Yup, 400 calories, and I think it was 32 total fat. But that's still a good drop from regular cheesecake. However, another desert I've tried that's good and even lower (like 230 calories, PLUS fiber...in a desert????) is the Weight Watchers chocolate raspberry cake at Applebee's.