Hello Everyone-
Well, last night I was talking to one of my really good friends that lives in KY.I told her how happy I am to have kept every pound off since I met my goal weight over 2 months ago. Actually, I have even lost another 3 pounds since becoming a Lifetime member of Weight Watchers. My friend did congratulate me, but proceeded to tell me that ALL of her friends that met their goal weight through WW has gained EVERY POUND BACK and THEN SOME. This return to old habits and gaining back the weight is true in many cases, but I actually felt disappointed by her comments. These comments sure don't help you gain the confidence needed to maintain this weight loss. Actually, I was at a loss for words when she said this to me. Maybe I am overreacting, but hey right now I need encouragement because I realize just how easy one can gain back all those lost pounds.
What would you have said? I am sure she meant well, but her comments upset me at the time. Thanks for your help!
People's comments are so rude at times! I probably would have said: "Well, I'm going to prove that theory wrong, by making it a "lifestyle" not a "diet"..." It IS so very disheartening when someone tells you that. We've all heard it before unfortunately. BUT let's prove them WRONG!!!
You're not overreacting, we are more sensitive to these comments , we think that our friends, co-workers, family, will be as exctatic about our weight loss as ourselves, but they are not and that's disappointing...
Keep up the great work, keep coming HERE or WW or both for support...
Geez, Carol, with friends like that …. Yeah, I think most of us have gotten comments like that, plus we’re bombarded with that negative message from the media: “95% of dieters regain all the weight” I know how you feel because the idea of gaining all the weight back still makes me nervous — but that’s probably a good thing since it keeps me on my toes.
I don't know what I would have said in your place (I tend to think of good answers long after the fact ) but here’s what I want to say to YOU: the only way that you can gain back the weight is if YOU make a lot of bad choices and decisions. You CAN’T gain the weight back if you keep practicing your maintenance skills. It's just plain impossible. You know what works; you know exactly what you had to do to get the weight off. Just keep doing those things and you will keep the weight off forever. I promise!
Sure it’s hard to maintain a weight loss but it’s not impossible — just look around here! Karen (MrsJim) has kept off 115+ pounds for 14 years. Mel’s maintained her 50 pound loss for more than two years, I’m more than two years from goal, and there are lots of others. The power to keep the weight off lies completely in our hands (the same as it was for losing the weight in the first place). No one's going to force us to eat the wrong foods and the pounds won’t magically show up in the middle of the night (at first I actually was afraid that I’d wake up in the morning and be 100 pounds heavier ). So it doesn’t matter at all what other people do after they lose weight — that has nothing to do with us and OUR choices.
I know it’s hard to put that negative failure message out of your mind, but try to stay focused on how good you feel now and how much you’re enjoying your new body. You can do this!! And stick around here — you know we’ll support you in keeping the weight off for the rest of your life.
Is your friend herself included in that statement? Did she meet goal and then slide? Perhaps her statement was meant to qualify her own achievement. Maybe it was just her way of saying "be careful" because the hard part is just beginning.
Carol,
Did you ever go to a seafood restaraunt that had a tank of lobsters in the lobby so you could choose the one you want to eat? They pull each other down and step all over one another trying to stay on top. They are friends too! Your friend is insecure and is looking to keep you down. Don't be upset with them. Throw them in boiling water and eat them!
Thanks for everyone's support! I feel better already knowing I have "friends" here who will help me get over such "insensitive" comments! Yes, my friend was on WW, but never made it to goal (She only has about 10 pounds left to go, but threw in the towel like so many others do!). I guess when we reach our goal weight, we are sooo excited, and want everyone to feel estatic for us too. I must realize this is NOT the case most of the time! I know I can keep this weight off! After all, I "talk" to myself and remind myself several times daily, that "I CAN DO THIS FOREVER!!!!!".
Actually, Meg, I'm coming up on 3 years in 2 1/2 months
But who's counting?
Carol, Congratulations! I don't have much to add to what everyone else has said other than "it's a lifestyle, not a diet". As Meg said, remember what you did to lose that weight, and just keep doing it. Have faith in yourself and prove your friend wrong.
Since I am stubborn as a mule, I truly plan to prove my friend wrong!!! It is just sometimes hard to swallow comments like that, especially from a good friend. As the old saying goes, those who are closest to us seem to hurt us the most, whether intentionally or not. I just wish I had said something "clever" back to her, but since I didn't, I will just keep moving forward and keep a positive attitude. For "this too will
pass", right?
Again, thanks for the words of support. I really needed that today. I feel sooo much better!
CAROL
How about, "I'm sorry to hear that?" Think of it as unwanted gossip that's been passed on to you. Simply express sympathy for her friends and leave it at that.
My friend did congratulate me, but proceeded to tell me that ALL of her friends that met their goal weight through WW has gained EVERY POUND BACK and THEN SOME.
I reckon the best answer to that (as well as what everyone has said ) is to still be at goal in 1 .. 2 .. 3 years time, in fact for the rest of your life.
Actions very often speak louder than words!
It always comes back to that HUGE difference between 'diet' and 'lifestyle change'. You don't have to say a word. The months and years will speak for themselves.
oh, man, I hear it a lot from my family and even a couple friends who are not losing but who I run into occasionally. "a diet is a thing that's not meant to last" or "you'll gain it all back" in addition to "why bother, you're thin anyway" (even before I started!). this is discouraging, but I shrug it off. comes with the weight loss.
I can't imagine that situation. The only response I could possibly would give is "Well, isn't that nice?" Which is Southern USA female code for "Who Gives a S*it!" And I apologize in advance for the inappropriate language.
How would you respond to this?
Yeah, I think most of us have gotten comments like that, plus we’re bombarded with that negative message from the media: “95% of dieters regain all the weight” 
) but here’s what I want to say to YOU: the only way that you can gain back the weight is if YOU make a lot of bad choices and decisions. You CAN’T gain the weight back if you keep practicing your maintenance skills. It's just plain impossible. You know what works; you know exactly what you had to do to get the weight off. Just keep doing those things and you will keep the weight off forever. I promise!
). So it doesn’t matter at all what other people do after they lose weight — that has nothing to do with us and OUR choices. 
Lots of good protein in those lobsters too!
