I had an interesting thing happen yesterday. I spent all morning cooking, took a small nap after a light lunch, and then proceeded to decorate and get ready for the guests. Food was all done and everyone loaded their plates as did I, but then I sat down. And I couldn't eat. Well, that's not entirely true, but normally I'm able to eat all that I take which was small (very small) portions of everything available. But I couldn't even eat half of it. I hadn't been snacking, either. I didn't even take any pie for dessert as I just couldn't eat it. And yet, this morning, my weight is up.

Dagmar, I love kettle corn (sweet and salty popcorn) too. Luckily, there's almost no place around here that makes it- only one farmer's market-based stand that closes between Halloween and Memorial Day, so I'm currently feeling the deprivation.

And, what is it about hiding one's eating from family? The DH by now is so familiar wth my binging when he goes out (or even heads upstairs to work when I'm on the main floor) that he checks in with me and sometimes makes me go with him. Yes, I've actually asked him (during my sane periods) to do this so I can't sucker him when I'm craving. It doesn't always work (I lie and say I'll be fine), but it has definitely saved me on many occasions.

Ugh.... disgusted by how much weight I've gained so quickly.

Way way over my redline now.

Dd leaves today and then I'm alone for two weeks. Hopefully can make a dent in the gain in that time.

hi everyone, mind if I join in? I am so far beyond my red line, too. :( I'm hopeful checking in will help keep my mind focused on where it needs to be to get my weight down!

Of course! Checking in is a great step in the right direction!

beloved spirit :welcome:


Dagmar :)

Sunday, still Upstate, and no idea what I weigh.

But I didn't like what I saw in the mirror this past Friday, when we went shopping at a favorite place, and the pants that I tried on were tight in the thighs and hips. I've gained enough weight from summer through the fall that I'm definitely up at least one size.

Hurried post to celebrate that I said 'no' to a blackcurrant sundae tart and had a clementine and cottage cheese instead. To lose weight carbs like that must be shown the door. (At my mother's.)

I've started writing down what I eat in my notebook again. That's always good.

:woohoo: Go birchie go!

Dagmar :cool:

Oh Dagmar, thank you. It got worse again as events unravelled but overall I'm probably ahead. 0 blackcurrant sundaes, 0 custard tarts. 10 brazil nuts. Bowl of (very good, made by me) minestrone. Ah, I forgot the blackberry and apple (from my sister) crumble. I ate mostly fruit and not crumble.

Tomorrow is another day in which I shall do a recce of a complicated flat roof, talk to some roofers and make a few decisions. Beef casserole and minestrone are both in my future.

Sorry if too much about food. It's rather on my mind as I seem to be mostly in charge of it at present. (This really does my head in.)

Welcome Beloved Spirit!!

Andrea, I'm fascinated by the fact that you have told your husband about your binging habits, so that they're not in any way "secret eating" anymore, yet it is still a behavior that you struggle with on occasion. For me, it's firmly associated with the shame of eating behind my mother's back during the years she had me on a strict diet. The temptation has mostly disappeared over time, and it does seem that my recent lack of any "alone at home" time has triggered its recrudescence. I'm not sure if it's latent rebellion? Or a warped form of self-care? I'm re-reading a bit of Geneen Roth.

JZJ, the fact that I binge is not a secret, but the individual episodes of it are. It's like a stupid game where I lose (gain weight) if I win, but I persist in it nonetheless. And truth be told, they're usually not terrible binges, but just precisely the 300-500 calories that I aim to create as a deficit during the day in order to finally, at long last, lose the 10 pounds I gained over the last couple of years. It is an amazingly precise form of self-sabotage masquerading as a bad habit. I'd call what I do not latent but fairly explicit rebellion :>(

Monday morning, and well and truly, I have no idea what I weigh. I'll find out tomorrow morning, when I wake up in the hotel room and head toward the scale.

I've got a visit to the gym and then many hours seated, driving back downstate. I'm glad that I was not on the road yesterday, as we had a view several times of I-90, the New York State Thruway, and it looked busy and nearly at a standstill in some segments.

Not much change from the morning of Thanksgiving, at 154.8.

Getting more serious about this today.

Go Saef!

I had a good on-plan day, and that crumbled a bit yesterday so I'm fighting the urge to fall off the bandwagon today. Sigh, why does this have to be so hard?