to all.

A muggy day here although much of the rest of the UK is basking in hot, sunny weather. 25C / 77F - hot for early May here.

right back Birchie.

Big news in my house. DH went off to his new full-time Controller job at 7 a.m. this morning.

I hope this is the job where he finally will be able to use and to be recognized for all the skills he's accumulated over the last 20 years. A bump in the pay cheque is also most welcome and might allow me to give up some of the work that's draining me.

We'll give it 3 months to see how it works out.

Dagmar

That's good news, Dagmar!

What is typical for the weather in May and June, Birchie? Will I be comfortable in shorts? I am usually happy in shorts in the 80's and above but might feel a little cold if it's in the 60's or 70's. We're planning on bringing light rain coats that we can easily carry around just in case we get cold (or if it rains). I really can't wait!

My office assistant told me Friday that she would be in today (she didn't work at all last week and was in only partial days the previous week), so I made plans to take Ringo to the vet this morning. And she called to say she is not coming in. Ticks me off. She said she'd be in last Thursday--the day we had our golf tournament, she called in sick that day, too. We've decided she's hysterical. She's really out of control. She says she wants to quit, but that she'll stay through our vacation, but then tells others that she was going to come in this weekend, clear out her things, and leave us a note that she was quitting--with no notice. I cannot depend on her any longer but I can't fire her. She has absolutely nothing to fall back on--no savings, no investments, nothing. She thinks that if she quits, declares bankruptcy and gets rid of her car, she'll have enough to live on until she dies, but I don't think she's being realistic at all. All this and then she's diagnosed with colon cancer but won't go to the doctor to find out more (like did they find a cancerous polyp like they did on her last colonoscopy or is it worse? Can they do surgery? She won't ask.) Instead, she calls, crying hysterically, saying things like "I don't want treatment. I don't know what to do. I don't want to die." We told her she HAS to find out what is going on but "she hates her doctor" so she doesn't want to go in. We finally got her to go to a foundation here and she signed paperwork so they could pull her records and she supposedly went back for them to tell her what is going on but she hasn't told us anything else.

So yeah, I want my vacation.

Great news, Dagmar. I hope he finds his niche and is happy.

Sorry for the continued bad news with your assistant. Not to wish anyone bad, but I'm sure you'll be happy once you have a reliable person employed down the road....

I had a lot to say but my computer was acting up and now that I've finally gotten it to reboot, I need to get to work. Oh well....

Happy Monday, all....

I don't know for sure if I'll be able to replace her. I really do not need an assistant except for the times when I want to be away from the office. Like today with taking the cat to the vet. And Thursday when I'm getting a haircut. It's nice being able to leave the office to do things and know someone is there to answer the phones, but I don't need someone for actual work as I am able to get it all done myself. I've told DH that I could do all my work in one day a week, but someone has to be here to answer the phones and sign for deliveries. I spend 98% of my day on the internet or I bring in my knitting. Sometimes I read a book. I cannot imagine someone wanting to work less than full time.

Allison - I am one who gives people multiple chances, more so than my employers have often wanted from HR. That being said, the time has come where you may have to do something about your assistant. I know that you feel responsible for her, but it isn't your responsible to take care of her if she won't take care of herself. It isn't fair to you to not be able to depend on her, it is like she is holding your workplace hostage to some degree.

Dagmar - good luck to DH and his new job! I hope it works out, I know it would help with the pressure you are under work wise.

Hey Birchie & Michele!

I'm tired today. Have been tired for several days, actually. I don't sleep well at night, and don't like it.

Allison-- I'd be surprised if you couldn't find someone willing to work part-time. There are many, many part-time employees at my school.
Depending on the hours, you might attract a mom or student that would be thrilled to work part-time.
I hope you were able to take Ringo to the vet.

I'm also tired.... but I think part of it is allergies as my eyes are burning which is making me feel tired.

Back from the vet. She agreed it is stress related. He got an antibiotic shot and a steroid shot and we were sent home with a new urinary stress food (which he seems to like). She said I've done all the right things--Feliway room diffusers, multiple litter boxes and even Jackson Galaxy spirit essences (self esteem for Ringo, bully remedy for Waffles and peacemaker for the other two). Hopefully, he'll snap out of it soon.

I agree that I shouldn't really give her another chance, but DH is standing by her as well. I think we have too big of hearts to let her go knowing she's not well off financially. But if she quits, then that's that. Our estimator seems to think she will quit. I think I'll talk to my MIL to see if she'll be willing to step in if the need arises while we're on vacation and then I'll figure it out after that.

Allison - Hope Ringo feels better, and I get it on the standing by her. I'd likely do it, too.

Allison, I work for a Local Workforce Investment Agency in Bakersfield. One of the things we do is set up on-the-job training opportunities for our clients. The client would work for you and we would pay most of the wage for a set period of time. I'm not sure where you are but there is definitely a "LWIA" which serves your county and could provide a similar service to you. Maybe if you could get a person under this arrangement for three or six months, it would allow you more free time even if the assistant doesn't show, and you could figure out a plan. Could your assistant go on disability? That type of person always seems to figure something out to scrape by even if it means moving in with other family they don't like!

Dagmar, I hope that DH's job works out. It's about time he found one.

My second opinion about chemo is scheduled for the 17th at UC San Francisco. My oncologist won't give me chemo unless the second opinion says yes. It will be interesting. And the day after, I have an oral surgery scheduled to try to save a failed root canal. Argh, I'm so tired of medical/dental stuff!!

I've considered something like that. I also have my MIL that can come in on a pinch and help out if needed--especially when I'm on vacation. My FIL works for us and has already said he'll be there all week long (he usually works only 3 days a week) to help with phones if our estimator has to be out of the office (which will happen since DH won't be there).

I've decided that I need to have a talk with my assistant and let her know that she cannot continue to tell me she's coming in and then change her mind. When I know she's coming in, I schedule other things and it really messes things up when she doesn't show.

Allison, here's an off-the-wall idea that you might consider. Just a thought.

You want to help support this woman, but she is not doing well as an employee.

You and your husband are pretty well off. You can gift anyone up to $13,000 a year without any reporting being required. It's not a deductible gift, but it doesn't count against gift or estate reporting.

Have a talk with the woman, and tell her that you can no longer keep her on as an employee, but you do want to give her a severance package of $1,000 a month for as long as she lives. This amount would be under the $13,000 limit, plus, because she is the recipient of a gift, she would not have to report it or pay any taxes on it.

It seems that you are providing charity to her anyway, so why not make it more upfront?

You can check with your accountant about this if you don't want to take my word. (It's a good idea anyway.)

Alice-- that's interesting that your oncologist wants you to get a second opinion. Is that pretty routine these days? I know my mom never got a second opinion before chemo. Yuck on the root canal!

Allison-- good luck with your assistant dilemma. I know your heart wants to help her, but you have a business to run.

Younger dd is in Houston helping with older dd's house she just bought. As they've never gotten along-- but may live together at some point-- we were wondering how this week would go.... I called younger dd this morning and got an earful about how messy her sister is, how much work she is doing, and on and on..... We've got the HVAC people there now checking the heat and AC-- neither was working but we knew the thermostat was bad-- so far, new thermostat is in and heat works-- now they're checking AC.

Made my first Hello Fresh meal last night and I was super impressed. Beyond yummy! Blackened Tilapia with roasted potatoes and veggies. I was worried that the calories for the meals wouldn't fit into my calorie counting, but last night's meal was perfect. It says it serves 2, but I got 3 generous portions for 281 calories per serving. Dh had a business dinner so I have leftovers for lunch today and he does too.

Michele, I think most second opinions are requested by the patient, not the oncologist. And most of the time, the patient is trying to avoid chemo, not receive it! But my oncologist said she is not comfortable giving me chemo because she does not believe it will benefit me, and insists on the second opinion. Despite her young age, I don't think she is very up-to-date. She is relying on the pathology report of my tumor instead of the more modern 21-gene recurrence score (called the Oncotype Dx test). My score was high-intermediate, which is not great (the lower the better). From all my research, I believe that most oncologists recommend chemo for my score. I think the expert at UCSF will agree with my assessment that chemo will definitely benefit me and lower my chance of recurrence. I'll know for sure a week from today.

Allison, it is too bad your DH seems to feel such loyalty to this employee, when obviously she doesn't feel the same loyalty to you or your business! I hope you can resolve this problem soon. What a headache!

Our chicken population has predictably exploded since we are unable to find all the hidden nests. My DH is finally on board with a plan to catch them ALL! We bought a small chicken coop kit where any captured birds can reside until our former neighbor "Rooster Rick" takes them away. We have almost completed a huge catch pen where we are currently putting out their feed. And I have ordered a casting net, generally used for fishing, but which I think will work well for chickens. You throw it like a frisbee and it opens up. It is almost starting to feel fun! (Remember, these are feral chickens that can fly and roost very high up in the trees at night).

I'll keep your ideas and share with DH if the need arises. Today is Wednesday, the first day my assistant is supposed to work. It is payroll day which is her primary duty. I have had to do payroll the past three weeks. We'll see what transpires.

Ringo has been feeling a lot better after the vet visit. The vet said it is stress and that all the things I've done so far is what she was going to suggest. She gave him an antibiotic shot and a steroid shot and said to change his food to Hills c/d stress and I got some of that. He seems to like it, as do the other cats, so for sure that will be my dry food for all once the other stuff is gone. He's not as crazy about the wet, but I'll continue to give it to him--he's always preferred dry food, so it's no surprise he isn't enthralled with it. I did decide to put out a 4th litter box, too. Now all the cats use that ONE box and leave the others alone. Today, I added Cat Attract to the older boxes to see what happens. I'll clean all the boxes (again) this weekend.