December 17: 7 miles running on treadmill - 2% incline (59:20)
P90X Core Synergistics DVD (60 mins)
30 minutes foam rolling
squat stretches

Dec. 17: 105 minutes Bikram yoga with my fave instructor. It was a small class (holidays I guess) and she pointed out that it was the 444th class of the year for one of the regulars! Dang! And I think I go a lot. I think it was my 271st class of the year. My goal was 200-- I'm debating what my goal will be next year. Certainly not 444!

Totals:
18 workouts
1740 minutes

December 18: Zumba Cardio Party DVD (45 minutes)
50 minutes weight lifting (back and legs)
30 minutes foam rolling
15 minutes stretching

Wednesday, Dec. 18th:

45 minute spin class ... which I felt lucky to make after a long day at the office with three one-on-ones, and me hosting a staff meeting, then taking the dept out for their wine-soaked Christmas luncheon (mine was salad with grilled salmon on top and a Pellegrino with a lime slice), a traffic jam on the way home as everyone drives into Manhattan to shop & etc. Thank goodness for my laid-out gym clothes which I got into as soon as I walked in the door. When I'm dressed to go, I will go.

sister

This is virtually what I had for lunch. It's such a good choice amongst a lot of rubbish. I think next time I'll ask wherever I have it not to bother with the 'house dressing' and just have balsamic vinegar or nothing. I almost always dislike the house dressing.

I'm the same way about the gym. I can't sit down after work or I don't go. I stand up and put on my clothes and go. Period. My lunch today sounds like yours too! I have a salmon salad from Trader Joe's (it's a couple days past its date so I hope it is okay still though).

Dec. 18: 100 minutes Bikram Yoga

Totals:
19 workouts
1840 minutes

Thursday, Dec. 19th:

45 minutes running on treadmill, at 4.5 mph, then walking for five minutes, then running at 4.3 mph for the last 10 minutes.

The gym's director watched me run and said my gait is improving. I'm not galloping as much. I'm still landing more heavily on my left foot and dragging the right foot a bit. I pick up my feet a little better. It's good to hear that I'm doing better than last week. That's all I want: Better than the previous week.

But then as I stood at the front desk talking to the director, I went into a scary place. She talked about all the pressure she's under in running the gym, the owner blaming her personally for a drop in membership (which is probably due to their price increase and other gyms opening nearby), and then told me she planned on losing 12 pounds and working on sculpting her legs. She asked me what my goals were. I had to admit I'd gained a little and could stand to lose eight pounds. But even as I said that, feeling uneasy, it was clear to me that her dissatisfaction with her body was also very much about her dissatisfaction with her life.

Then I was thinking about Charlotte Hilton Anderson, talking about her exercise addiction:

I do NOT want to add another hour to my routine each day, just when it is dropping closer to the normal 30 minutes per day with some 90 minute days interspersed. I really don't.

But the invitation to join the gym director in working toward further bodily perfection is so seductive. I'm ambivalent so I'm laying it out here.

Thursday, Dec 19 AM:

20 minutes running on treadmill (2.54 miles), too fast for my protesting back which is still tender from shoveling. And 5 minutes of stairmaster because I ran out of time.

Hoping to make it to the gym this afternoon for round two. I have a teeth cleaning tomorrow morning.

saef: You have given this a lot of thought. There will always be someone somewhere trying to fix or ignore non-bodily issues by changing their body.

Saef-- those thoughts don't sound healthy to me. You're working hard to find balance in your life. Don't give that up.

saef - "bodily perfection". Love that you used that term. There is no part of me that does any workout ever without feeling terribly inadequate and - if there is a mirror - focusing on my horrific imperfections.

I did a P90X DVD on Tuesday and realized that I was comparing my abs to one of the people in the video - she is a professional athlete who works as an ACROBAT and has for years. Really? I am supposed to be equal to her?

And then I wondered for WHO and WHY I'm trying to achieve these unrealistic expectations.

I think I'm babbling here, and maybe it's not making any sense. But I guess I'm saying for people like you and me - we could work out 5 hours a day and never achieve that "perfection" that we are seeking. And we sacrifice SO MUCH in search of it that I'm afraid that sometimes I - speaking for myself - don't see the forest for the trees if that makes any sense.

I applaud your desire to be more moderate in your expectations and demandingness of yourself - I'm trying to do the same...

Jen

Don't be seduced, saef.

"O, that way madness lies; let me shun that;
No more of that."

You didn't talk explicitly about your fear and dissatisfaction with your own life but you did obliquely by referring to other people.

I'd say that exploring these areas would be much, much more satisfying for you. It would open doors and display vistas you didn't know existed.

December 19: DVD - Bob Harper's Pure Burn Super Strength (66 mins)
7 miles running on treadmill (1:04:13)
30 minutes foam rolling
squat stretches


So I've been running on the treadmill and find it torturous. It's been killing my desire to run at all. But with iced over sidewalks I'm not going to risk falling. Hence I tried an experiment - run WAY slower on the treadmill than my normal run pace. I found it to be MUCH more tolerable! 7 miles didn't feel too bad at all!

Dec. 19: very proud that I went to the later bikram class rather than skipping it after my holiday party. I wanted to go home and go to bed. It was a great class but then I was starving and wide awake after. I ate lightly and woke up starving again!

105 minutes Bikram Yoga

Totals:
20 workouts
1945 minutes

Exactly, Birchie. When I want to change my body, usually it's a sign that I want to change my life.

Friday, December 20th:

30 minutes StairMaster, tough in the last 10 minutes, definitely because of running the day before
60 minutes back & biceps routine


The gym has gotten busy, maybe due to the snow and ice, maybe due to penitence over consumption at holiday parties.