May I join this thread? I can't count calories, then I start obsessing about food. So I am Watching portions and cutting down/out on dessert and starchy carbs. I feel so good at my goal weight and think I look big right now, does any one else struggle with body image? Clothes are a lot more fun to play with when at goal, all my 5 pounds over goal are in the muffin top look -ugh! :hug:
Diana

Oh, yeah, I know the feeling. It's been happening a lot at the gym over the last couple days.

Does it help at all to think that even those women probably have something about their bodies that they don't like? I say "probably" because maybe, just maybe, they are completely secure and satisfied with their appearance, never check themselves in the mirror, never worry about photographs, never feel sweaty, red-faced, swollen, bloated, or wiped-out.

You caught a glimpse of them at their peak, efficient as running machines, doing something they do well, and probably enjoying themselves. Of course they looked great. Everyone gets a moment like that now & then. Even you & me. And their having a moment does not prevent you from having one later on.

Okay, this'll be long, so duck out now if you don't have time to read a chapter in a novel.

I keep alternating being deeply stressed out by my business trip, which starts on Tuesday, then pulling myself out of my funk with practical admonitions & carrying on with my life. The stresses are caused by a lot of the things:

1) Comparing myself to my female manager, who's younger than me, very hard-driving, achievement-oriented and competitive, and sure to be "on" for the entire time and also urging me to put myself forward.

2) Being judged by other managers for my contributions, comments & questions, which, let's face it, includes maintaining a professional appearance, and is related closely to body image issues.

3) Not getting much down-time, as we are scheduled from 8 AM through at least 7 PM, since there are expensed business dinners each night.

4) Not having many options at meal times, since they are all group buffets or group sit-downs, sort of like a wedding with choice of entree. (Never enough vegetables !!!!!)

5) Lots of alcohol in the evenings, candy bars in bowls everywhere at break times twice a day and only a few token pieces of fruit, not particularly appealing, and those energy bars that pretty much might as well be candy -- never any protein.

6) There is a gym, open 5 AM-9 PM. But because of the regimented schedule, limited time to access the gym, and crowds in line at opening time for the equipment, like your nightmare of the gym on January 2nd.

Now the good thing is, this will only last from Tuesday through Friday. But this is one of the most challenging things I'll do this year on my job. Please all, bear with me, as I'll be checking in here a lot, looking for the sanity of the world OUTSIDE of the convention rooms. My plans are:

1) Not to make comparisons. Constant comparisons only end up lacerating me or making me smug. Either way, they're counterproductive. I just need to do what's right for me, not what seems right for my manager.

2) Try not to overpack clothes I won't wear, and wear what's comfortable, try not to obsess on grooming and appearance for the duration.

3) Make myself take down time. Leave the business dinners as early as professionally possible for some solitude & renewal. Take a walk during the breaks rather than hunching over my laptop. (I have already scheduled a facial at the hotel spa for my arrival day.) GET TO BED EARLY!!!!!!

4) Try not to FREAK OUT over not having control of my three squares, and to pack some nuts, some tea packets, some other stuff (within reason, not to be a traveling grocery store for an orthorexic).

5) No drinking, no candy bars, no overdoing coffee, none of that faux stress or tiredness relief through alcohol, sugar or caffeine -- EVEN THOUGH THE ATMOSPHERE WILL PROMOTE IT AND EVERYONE ELSE WILL BE DOING IT. Find the sane people. Advocate for healthy choices if they're not provided. Try to change that corporate culture thing.

6) Figure out a way to use the gym when I can, mainly as a source of stress relief. Don't be a perfectionist and think I can manage uninterrupted training per my usual schedule under these conditions. Don't beat myself up if I'm in bed and discover the day got past me without gym time.

Whew! Sorry for the novel, but I really really needed to get this out there today as the preparations for the trip on Tuesday start to accelerate.

Saef, I used to have a lot of food-and-exercise related stress when I travelled, but much less these days since I learned a few tricks. For business (and leisure) travel, I have purchased a couple of easily packable items: a high-intensity exercise DVD I like (I play it on my laptop), a travel weight set (these, though there are other options: http://www.allegromedical.com/gift-i...s-p210999.html) and, my most recent purchase, which I can recommend without reservation, a TRX suspension system with an over-the-door hook (go to trxtraining.com). In addition, a pair of sneakers and a smart phone (for mapping a route) allows you to go jogging almost anywhere you may find yourself. These items can free you from limited hotel gym options.

I trouble-shoot buffet-style meals by loading up on the salad and veggie sides, and for sit-down-and-order meals paid by a corporate account , I wouldn't hesitate to order an extra side of veggies a la carte and just leave the extra carbs from your main dish sitting on your plate. I don't let other peoples' choices intimidate me at meals; I eat what I want and assume others don't especially care what I put on my plate, and what I leave.

My final trick, which doesn't have to make you look like an orthorexic, is to bring an assortment of fresh fruits and veggies with you in a zippered soft-sided case that doesn't look like a food bag (for example: http://compare.ebay.com/like/3606543...Types&var=sbar). I'll pack 2 pounds of baby-cut carrots, a pound of sugar-snap peas, a whole raw cauliflower, etc, to have in my room as snacks with which to fortify myself during breaks and prior to dinner. Most veggies travel REALLY well, and so does some fruit (a little planning with tupperware really expands your options for fruit).

Good luck this week, and remember that you can always escape to your room during a break-with-candy ("excuse me, I need to use the restroom" or just run out 10 sec. before the speaker before break finishes, as though you need to use the toilet urgently) and relax in your room for the 15 minutes with a cup of tea.

Saef.... Read your novel. Bravo on planning and thinking evrything through. Hopefully that alone will help with your related anxiety. Andrea has some great suggestions for you. I'll be rooting you on! Check in frequently. We are here for you and we get it!

Saef :hug:

Good to think it all through beforehand, saef. Andrea has some wonderful and sound suggestions. I can add that I eat lots of the salad garnish from buffet platters if there are few other vegetables. If there's watercress, that covers up small portions underneath and takes a long time to eat with knife and fork. And as Michele says, we understand. Check in here.

ETA that I'm back from a week near the SO's family. Time to stretch out and collect my thoughts. One is that I must go and buy some fruit and veg.

saef - I don't travel a lot, and when I do, it's tough on me as well. Especially buffet style choices. So I don't have a lot of advice, but I will be sending good thoughts your way.

Andrea's suggestions are fantastic. How about also buying "real" protein bars - like Clif, Balance or Luna bars so you won't be tempted by the sugar enriched granola bars or even worse, candy bars?

It sounds as though you have a good plan. Try to remember that you will be paying WAY more attention to how you look and what you choose to eat then anyone else!

Hugs!

Jen

Yes, there were some difficult periods during our recent tour of duty with the SO's family but we also had stunning weather and stayed in a small town with a wonderful seashore. "Chinese takeaway night" was one of the challenges as I don't go a bundle on Chinese food, small town takeaways are rarely gourmet (British understatement) and the SO's father is a bit fixed in his approach. The SO suggested we buy some "bags of leaves" from the supermarket so I would have cover to eat very little. I allowed the DB and his cousin to overrule my emergency choice of lemon chicken with their choice of duck in orange sauce - a much better idea. So I had a spoonful of boiled rice, a few pieces of duck (standard protein serving of a deck of cards), just over half an orange in sliced pieces, a lot of watercress, some "fried seaweed" and a few prawn crackers. And left the rest of them to various ghastly looking gloopy mixtures. The SO was sitting opposite me and said it looked as though I was tearing into the food! And we took some San Pellegrino. I've drunk a lot of that this past week as I don't drink alcohol.

But.

I'm feeling rather stout. I think I'll invest in some new scales and start weighing myself every day. My current scales are WW and accurate but they've rusted quite badly in the bathroom. I've been thinking of cleaning and repainting them but when I look at them I'm reminded of yet another thing I have to do. So I haven't been weighing myself. I'll look into less rust-prone scales and report back.

Yes Diana, please join us! All are welcome!

Hey there, Diana! Come on in. :)

Birchie - new scale always makes things seem a little brighter, as weird as that sounds. LOL I got a Withings WiFi scale for Christmas, and I feel like it is more accurate. Maybe it is just because it is black and glossy.

Saef - Another echo to Andrea's suggestions. If nothing else, carry some real protein bars. No one looks on you crazy when you bring out a bar from your bag - they have become so common.

JayZee - I hate the little running bikini outfits. They are perfect to burst my confidence at a race.

I had too much sodium, not enough water and not enough protein this weekend. Now to see if I can rinse some of that salt out this week.

Sorry, Diana, I'd missed your post cos I'm usually on the phone and I've been travelling. Yes! Please join us. It'll be lovely to have you here.

Hi Diana and welcome!!
I too struggle with body image, often with the discrepancy between how I look and how I feel. The difference of only a few pounds up or down can have a lot of power (too much power) in determining my feelings of self-worth. These illogical feelings feel so ingrained by now, but I am working on expunging them little by little.
Jen

Shannon, those wifi scales are very snazzy. I do like the automatic graphs. But I have a BlackBerry and they aren't compatible. There is an iPad in the house but I don't really get on with it. My current scales have a very good review so perhaps I should revert to plan A. (I seem to mend something every few days. Is it because I'm practical and don't like to waste things? Is it because things aren't very well built? Do you find yourselves doing this?)

Diana, what you call a muffin top, I think of as the result of my upper body melting down, much like the wax dripping down the side of a candlestick holder. Whatever the metaphor, it looks the same. Sorry to miss saying hello to you. Anxiety makes me more than a little self-absorbed.

And no, you're not the only one who struggles with body image. If you pointed out a row of women of different sizes, and asked me to stand next to the one who is the same weight as me, I'd probably stand next to three or four different women, based less on my scale than on my mood that day. Lately it's been difficult even in spin class, where I feel extremely competent on the bike: There's been an influx of slender younger women, perhaps in a last-ditch effort before they head back to campus.

Lurker update
Fist let me thank you all for your concern.
This a rundown on what is happening now.
Hair is going, going almost gone. Very fatigued. Food has an unnatural, unpleasant taste, I just ate a banana, it looked like a banana, smelled like a banana, peeled like a banana but tasted nothing like a banana. I have also lost some weight , about 6 pounds, Is it heresy for a dieter/ maintainer to complain about losing ? I am really too low right now. My neighbor who does not diet doesn't understand this, saying it is only 6 pounds, but in my world it is a lot. She does have an interesting story, though. She does not diet, eats anything she wants but a while back she quit eating sugar , eats 0 sugar Within a short period of time had lost 16 pounds.
Hope everyone is doing well and that your bumps in the road are tiny ones. I may be lurking a little longer but I do check in frequently.