Maintaining weight loss vs. staying thin to begin with
So, I’ve been thinking about all the anecdotes and data we keep throwing around on this board, about the challenges of maintaining a weight loss and how much the [biological and societal] odds are stacked against us. Well, at some point in the last few weeks, probably fueled by one too many “get your best bikini body by spring” articles on the newsstands, I started thinking about all the women who stay thin all the time; the ones who start panicking at 130 lbs and successfully keep themselves in sizes 0-6 year after year. While some of them are blessed with “fast metabolisms” or are naturally jittery and restless, I am beginning to believe that – hidden among us, pretending to be ordinary people- there are likely to be tens (hundreds?) of thousands of <gasp> natural maintainers. The ones who are “always on a diet” or “eat like a bird” and pretend to have allergies to gluten or dairy just to have an excuse to avoid certain foods. The difference between “them” and us is very little; just that they were pre-emptive whereas we were reactive. That is, they actually managed to reign in their eating before it caused overweight, rather than having to learn that lesson the hard way. I think that these people are probably eating and exercising pretty much like us but nobody’s told them that they’re doomed to failure, and in fact, they have their own string of successful years to show them that it is not just possible, but likely.
These thoughts are both highly energizing (look; lots more people are succeeding at this weight maintenance stuff than we’re giving credit for) and kind of depressing (here I am thinking that it’s so hard; they’ve been doing it for years without thinking it’s such a big deal). What do you think? Have you ever thought about people who’ve always been in the normal weight range as natural maintainers, instead of just “naturally thin?”
My partner is a normal weight person who has always been normal weight. She does not watch her weight, and she does not watch what she eats. She does not go to gyms or run or do anything much more than take a walk a few days a week.
However, I watch what she eats! She eats slowly, she stops when she is satisfied. She doesn't choose really fattening foods--for example, she often orders tilapia--but it's because she likes tilapia, not because she's thinking of the number of calories, fats, protein, etc. She has a sweet tooth, but she isn't constantly eating sweets. She might have some PB&J on bread in the evening as a "dessert." Or she might have a cookie; but she doesn't eat a sleeve of cookies. She likes vegetables and was vegetarian for awhile, but not because it had anything to do with her weight. Then she decided to eat meat again, and she did. But not because it had anything to do with her weight. She likes carbs and eats them, but she doesn't keep on eating them.
One evening recently she was having some almonds with 60% dark chocolate chips as a "dessert" while watching TV. She put the small bowl aside with some chips and almonds still in it. It was still sitting there two days later. Of course, I had been watching it. I asker her about it. She said that she had just gotten tired of eating it and put it aside, and had forgotten about it. Oh yeah, I do that all the time! Sure!
She is 5'5" and weighs 125.
So she is a case of a "natural maintainer" who does not diet, who is not concerned about how much she weighs from day to day, who isn't worried about keeping a tally of what she eats or how many calories she burns, and so on.
Long before I began my weight loss journey, back when I was merely bemoaning being overweight and wished to be "naturally thin" I remember reading an article. An article that, while I've long forgotten the name of it, the gist of it has stuck with me for a long time.
It followed around several "naturally thin" women for a week, and wrote about their habits and their interactions with food and movement.
One of the women in the article said that she did sometimes put on a few pounds, but that she didn't actually own a scale. She knew that she'd put on weight, because she had this one favored skirt she wore that had absolutely no budge, no stretch to the material. If she put it on and it felt a little tight, then she knew that she had to avoid indulging in extras or sweets for a week or two.
At the time, this blew my mind. "You mean people who are naturally thin still ... watch what they eat? They still restrict themselves at times?" I'd always just thought they had some super power ability to eat until they were stuffed all the time. Sounds silly now, but I just had no idea how it worked for them.
The woman in the article wasn't what I would've called dieting, but she did still pay attention. Just not in a way that I'd have ever considered. I filed that article away in my mind, but the thought of it still pops up from time to time. "Naturally thin" is another way of saying they found the formula of weight maintenance that worked for them a long time ago.
One evening recently she was having some almonds with 60% dark chocolate chips as a "dessert" while watching TV. She put the small bowl aside with some chips and almonds still in it. It was still sitting there two days later. Of course, I had been watching it. I asker her about it. She said that she had just gotten tired of eating it and put it aside, and had forgotten about it. Oh yeah, I do that all the time! Sure!
Oh yeah, that reminds me of the drinks party I had to organise at work. There was masses of food left over, so I pressed the cheese on the guest of honour because I have a real weakness for cheese and didn't want to be left alone with it. Then I packaged up the leftover processed carbs - crackers and cheesy straws - because I have a real weakness for those as well, and took them to a secretary on the far side of the building, saying they were a donation for their regular Friday night drinks. Weeks later, I happened to drop by her desk and there were all the crackers and cheesy straws!
I asked her why she hadn't set them out for drinks, and she said she had forgotten all about them! I can't be trusted alone with crackers and cheesy straws, and this skinny young woman had forgotten about them!
Interesting idea Andrea. I'm not going to comment any further as my brain is still a bit foggy (it's just past 5 a.m.). I'm going to have to think about this one thoroughly.
I did have a thought pop into my mind as I read through this thread.
What about the "obesity" epidemic? Have all those people forgotten how to eat healthily or did they never learn how?
The few "normal weighted" people that I do know fall into 3 groups. The ones who seem to never think about food, eat when they are hungry and don't seem to over indulge except at maybe a major holiday.
Then there are the ones who obviously make conscious choices and choice healthy food over fating most of the time because they want to stay in shape. These are the "walkers and gym people" who even though I have never actually seen them overweight, they work pretty hard at staying fit, mostly because they like to, I think.
Then there are the people who have struggled endlessly with food/alcohol or even drug issues. Many would appear to be naturally thin, but have deep rooted addiction problems that pop up in various forms of mood enhancers. They'll trade off one addiction for another. They might drink too much, give up booze and trade it in for food, once they gain a few pounds trade it in for smoking then, speed, then go back to booze... Or give up smoking and trade it in for food, then go back to smoking when they gain 5 pounds... or give up smoking and trade it in for booze...fighting whatever addiction all of the time.
I think that these people are probably eating and exercising pretty much like us but nobody’s told them that they’re doomed to failure,
After I had lost 30lbs the first time ... it went fairly quickly and didn't seem very difficult ... I remember wondering if perhaps I was a naturally slender person who had just messed up. I still recall it as being one of the most devastating notions I'd ever had.
I had a neighbor, and I know a couple of others like her, who was just not very interested in food. She knew she was supposed to eat, as an example when she remembered that she hadn't had lunch she might have half an apple. She was not dieting, to her food was something to keep you alive but eating was not at all important to her.
I once told my partner how amazed I was that she stayed the same weight "no matter what," and she said, "Well, I can't eat everything, all the time, or I would gain weight too." In other words, she thinks the idea that she is somehow "immune" to weight gain is silly!
(Oh, and Lori Bell, you might find it interesting that I and my partner are both sober. She hasn't had a drink since 1982, and I since 1986.)
Great thread! JayEll, your friend sounds like my husband. He's exactly the same way. He has never had a weight problem and manages to naturally regulate his eating. For example, I made a delicious apple pie yesterday (he requested it). I also made manicotti & fried shrimp for dinner (my shrimp wasn't fried, of course ). He ate a nice portion of dinner, but didn't eat seconds. He said, "I could finish all this, but I want to save room for some apple pie." Now, in my old fat days, I would have had seconds and a piece of apple pie. I've said for quite some time that the main difference between such "naturally" thin people and me is that they 1) don't think about food as much as I do; 2) don't want food as much as I do
I used to live on a French island, and contrary to what many people think about the French effortlessly controlling their weight by eating cream sauces and creme brulee, the French women I knew were conscious of controlling their weight. They might have a croissant for breakfast, but they would have melon and a slice of prosciutto for lunch. I knew at least two French people who regularly went to the gym on the island.
Also, I live in a small town with only a couple of gyms, and many people here (myself included) tend to bounce back and forth between gyms. I've noticed that there are some folks who I've seen for at least ten years who are thin and have stayed that way for the time I've noticed them. They go to the gym regularly, and are the same weight whereas I have gone up and down in weight over the years.
Theres two sides to this - people who have naturally petite frames and people who have bigger ones (like myself, I have large hips and will always be hourglass, no matter how much weight I loose!) So I do believe some body shapes are just 'bigger'. However, saying that I still watch what the 'naturally small' girls eat!
They always seem to make good choices. I can eat about 3 bars of chocolate. My flatmate had a bag of chocolate and she would eat about 2 and put them away. She had that bag of chocolate 2 months! If that were me I'd eat the lot within 10 mins!
This other girl always had people joke that she; 'ate loads, she should be fat!'. She loved food, and she would have huge portions but I never saw her finish her plate. I will eat untill I'm stuffed and cant move, I love finishing everything, but she'll eat untill shes no longer hungry.
Yep to basically everything said above. I don't think that any person who is "naturally thin" is necessarily "effortlessly thin". Like others have said too, there are a few different types of naturally thin people.
A. Those who just don't think/obsesses about food that much.
B. Those who do work at maintaining their weight through exercise and consciously eating a healthy diet (maybe because they enjoy it? that's how they were raised? they feel better physically doing that? they enjoy cooking? etc).
C. Yep, I've also met those with addictive personalities but to other things than food (alcohol, cigarettes etc). However, I'd say they are the minority.
The vast majority of my friends who are "naturally thin" fit in B, a much lesser extent A and really only 1-2 in C. Although even in B there are three subsets:
1. Exercise-minded individuals: They love to exercise, might have one sport they've done their entire life (or love trying new sports) and might not watch their eating as closely.
2. Food-minded individuals: They might have philosophical reasons behind it (anti-sugar, vegetarian, against preservatives, eat only organic etc) or they just might like to cook "fancy foods" but whatever it is they watch closely what goes into their mouths. A lot of my friends like this don't exercise at all, although some do too.
3. Some mixture between the two.
Growing up I was definitely a B1 personality. Really, it was only when I quit soccer that I started to gain. I was so used to eating A LOT to maintain from all those calories I was burning playing soccer 2-3 hours every day that I had never learned portion control/how to make healthy foods. Now I'm working towards being a B3, although I sure wish I was an A, wouldn't that be wonderful???
I've written before about my mom and actually "interviewed" her for 3FC.
Here is my older post about my mom:
Hey guys, in this thread I talked about my mom - a naturally skinny person. Robin had some interesting clarifying questions, so I got my mom on the phone today and just flat out asked her about her weight (something I had never done in 39 years!).
So, my mom is named Ann. She's 63 years old and lives in Kerrville, TX. My entire life, she has been a vivacious, glamorous woman with a knockout bod. She has smoked since she was 17 (which I asked her for the first time today!) and she got breast implants when she was around 40 (she went from an A cup to a C cup).
Per my mom on the phone today, she never thought about her weight, rarely weighed herself, never considered food in relation to her weight. She is 5'4" and her weight has only deviated twice (besides pregnancies, of course). Except for these 2 exceptions, she weighed 110 lbs her entire adult life.
Exceptions:
1. During an unhappy time in her life when she was about 30, she was so depressed she couldn't eat and ended up weighing 90 lbs. She said this was one of the few times she ever got on the scale, she was so horrified at how much weight she had lost. She told me she regained weight by eating 2-3 pieces of cinnamon toast with butter after dinner every night. She said it took about 4 months to regain the weight.
2. After she turned 60, she gained 20 lbs. This was the ONLY time in my life I've ever heard my mom comment negatively on her weight or her body (she gained everything in her tummy). She said today on the phone she has been trying to lose weight by making sure she eats breakfast everyday and cutting back on portions (she says she eats little meals all day). She said she lost 10 lbs in 2 years without trying that hard and she's pretty happy at 120 lbs.
She said she doesn't eat for comfort, when she's depressed she wants to smoke (which is a whole other issue). She confirmed she's always been an active person, but has never done any organized exercise. She said she rarely ate breakfast, but is making more of an effort now. She also reminded me she never really liked soda and never drinks it (we never had it in the house growing up - it was milk, water or iced tea).
Her story is consistent with my memories, she ate what she wanted, when she wanted and has always loved food. I never saw her turn down dessert, but a lot of times I saw her do stuff like eat one graham cracker or 2 nuts or 2 wheat thins. Who eats 2 wheat thins? My mom!
I'm going to visit her on November 12th (her birthday). I told her about this thread. If you guys have any specific questions for mom, I plan to sit her in front of the PC and let her respond herself! Might be a little more meaningful than the original thread which really wasn't an interview with anyone who was naturally thin.
I was bigger than my mom by high school, I thought I was HUUUUGE. I was about 140 in high school at 5'7". I was jealous of my mom's effortless slenderness, which is probably why we have NEVER discussed her weight. It would have been a discussion of her weight in relation to mine, I guess.
I just wanted to add, I thought I was huge in high school but now that I've lost weight, my body shape is very similar to my mom's. We have the same small ribcage, prominent collar bones and shapely legs.
Reading that interview post again was bittersweet, I did go visit my mom for her birthday and we had a great time. My stepfather died a week after that visit. My mom's weight plunged again after Tom died, at his memorial she looked like a little kid dressed in adult clothes. I had to send her Harry & David Moose Munch to entice her to eat.
Maintaining weight loss vs. staying thin to begin with
). He ate a nice portion of dinner, but didn't eat seconds. He said, "I could finish all this, but I want to save room for some apple pie." Now, in my old fat days, I would have had seconds and a piece of apple pie. I've said for quite some time that the main difference between such "naturally" thin people and me is that they 1) don't think about food as much as I do; 2) don't want food as much as I do
