Even though I'm really more of a bouncer, at this point, than a maintainer, I thought maybe I'd post this reflection here.
Two years ago, I started on the weight loss path. The first year was effortless, the second year ended up being a struggle, first a stall, then a bounce, then losing the bounce, then losing it entirely and going through a period where I was really back to my old destructive binging habits. And, now, I've stopped that and gone back to my regular healthy eating routine.
Net gain from lowest ever weight is about twenty-five pounds which still gives me a net loss of over eighty that I've been able to maintain.
Here's what I really and truly don't understand.
For the first time in my life, I've stuck with a healthier lifestyle long enough to feel like it's "me". I have routines of how to behave, what foods to choose, etc. that have become routine.
On the other hand, I had MAJOR food issues and was a binger for probably around 30 years. Two years of new habits versus 30 years of old habits.
When I'm in binge mode, it's oh so familiar, and it feels, in a weird way, comfortable. But when I'm in healthy mode, I've got a groove going with that too.
Here's what's weird. Since I got back on track, I haven't had a single desire to binge, but I do find that I have trouble getting myself interested in eating at all. I mean, I eat, but I don't really care about it that much. I think about my food choices and since none of them are things like a quarter sized sheet cake with frosting roses, I actually sometimes forget to eat. And I honestly don't mean that in the borderline anorexic kind of "forgetting". I just don't feel like bothering... I can ignore real hunger very easily, whereas, when I'm in compulsive binge mode, it seems impossible to resist.
Am wondering if any maintainers are former bingers and if anyone can relate to this. I don't know what to make of it.
I have accepted the fact that relapse is obviously part of my journey, but that a relapse does not have to mean going back to square one.
I'm not a binger, but I have been known to overeat some foods. And I also maintained my weight loss for over a year and then started to regain.
I'm now on my way down again.
My insight is this: Sugar. Sugar and other refined carbohydrates, especially combined with fats. Oh, and salt as well. Once I start overeating sweet, sugary foods (and I don't mean an apple), I have a lot of trouble stopping. Same with snacks like corn chips--that's the salt connection. It's like carbs want to eat more carbs... it doesn't even seem like me doing it.
So, here's what you said:
Quote:
none of them are things like a quarter sized sheet cake with frosting roses,
And to me that indicates maybe sugar is a problem for you, too.
When I am not eating a lot of refined sugar, I am not as interested in food, either. I don't get nearly as hungry as I do if I'm eating lots of carbs.
I do eat some carbs--on my current program, 85-100 grams a day. They are in the form of whole grains (oatmeal, whole grain bread) or fruits. I also have a tiny bit of maple syrup or honey sometimes. By "tiny bit" I mean a measured teaspoon. It is amazing how sweet that teaspoon tastes in a bowl of oatmeal once you have gotten off refined sugar.
If you haven't read The End of Overeating, you might look it up. It might be at your local library. It explains all about refined carbs, fats, and salt, and how restaurant foods are deliberately created to make people eat more.
I agree that it may be a question of what you are eating (in particular, carbs) when you in your two different modes.
I still bounce, too. I know that the path to going seriously off plan is paved with cabs. While I do stock a few treats for my daughter and hubby, those items aren't the ones that lead to my fall. It's the whole grain bagels, brown rice, and red lentils that are part of the mainstay of their healthy way of eating.
If I start grabbing half a toasted bagel or dip into their rice/lentils/whole grain pasta or whatever for part of my meal because I am in a rush or feeling stressed, it's the beginning of the end for me.
So, look at what types of foods you eat when you are in control of your hunger and the types of foods when you are binging. It may be that you are great with control if you just step away from the sugar. Or it may be that you have to go further with the starchy carbs. Or you may have some other trigger issues that are specific to you. But the type of food you are eating is probably a good place to look.
Gosh IDK, as a fellow binger I am in binge mode right now... The only times in my life that I've not cared or thought about binging have been during weight loss mode or times of extreme high stress.
Right now I have to go back into weight loss mode since I've gained about 10-15 lbs from binge mode. I've been trying to get back to weight loss mode for a while now, but keep slipping back. So today I actually kind of decided to clean up my foods a little bit in addition. I think that worked a little bit before, but I have to be careful how clean I go because I do get to a point of resentment and just crack and want the other "stuff" and binge.
Anyway, I don't really have any advice and can't really relate to not caring about food, but I can relate with the binging and just wanted to send some <hugs> your way. Food issues are food issues no matter what "mode" we're in and I think we can all relate with that.
Yup! This does sound like me. Lentils are lethal for me-- they actually qualify as a potential binge food. I love them, but portion control is very hard. And yes, I usually do start down that slippery slope by allowing myself to do binge-type behaviors with foods that are on the list that I normally eat, but in moderation, rather than foods that I try to avoid at all cost.
Ncuneo... I see that you "get" how it feels to have different mindset modes that seem mysterious and out of control.
The thing I wish more than anything would be to uncover what allows me to flip the switch....
I can see many of the factors that lead me to switch into binge mode-- primarily it's anxiety about something that feels out of my control. But I don't have a lot of insight to what makes me switch back. And when I do make the switch, then I'm fine for awhile. Until I'm not.
Hugs to you too Ncuneo. Food issues are tough and seemingly unending, but as long as we're more-or-less winning the battle we are way ahead of where we used to be.
I've found that if I try to address binge mode directly, I only make it worse. That includes trying to cut back on foods like sugar and such.
I wear a mouth guard at night because I grind my teeth, and when my life is chaos, I eat just for the chewing. If I identify the stress - even if it's just too much going on - and get things back in line, the drive to binge decreases dramatically.
Now please realize that I knew what the problem was for months but it has only been recently that I finally figured out a solution. I have three kids and at the crazy time of day - before dinner when they're all tired and crazy and I'm tired and hungry - is one of my worst binge times. I've started using that time for small tasks around the house. I keep a running list of things that need to be done, and rebooting the laundry or sewing on a button instead helps me burn off nervous energy.
I also have trouble when I am working on an intense project. Again, doing putzy tasks around the house seems to give me a sense of accomplishment (positive rather than the negative feeling after a binge) and burn off nervous energy, which makes me go back to the refrigerator over and over again.
Those may not be your issues or solutions, but I encourage you to keep looking until you find it. I also highly recommend Martha Beck's book "The Four Day Win." I've turned to that book over and over again. Her book "The Joy Diet" which has nothing to do with food at all also helps me a lot. I highly recommend both.
The thing I wish more than anything would be to uncover what allows me to flip the switch....
Oh Uber...if you ever find the answer, you'll be a billionaire. Yes, people from all walks of life will seek you to find the answer for the #1 mystery of weightloss.
^ seriously! I want to know too. Just as I posted this I think my switch has flipped back the other way, but this time I think I know why...weight loss. I'm finally losing the 10 I gained back from binging and now my desire to binge, overeat, eat off plan or over splurge are all gone! But I know...I know when that scale stops moving and the clothes to get loser it will flip the other way...so what do we do? All we can do, find some kind of peace and balance that works for us individually.
It's so clear now, it's amazing I lived so many years not understanding that my binges were tied to the foods I ate. Of course, I ate "bad" foods all the time and I binged a lot, so I guess it's understandable I just never made the connection.
I used to think I had a problem with food, this urge to eat and eat and eat. Bags of potato chips, sleeves of cookies, taking 2 donuts at work, then sneaking back and taking 2 more, maybe 2 more. Never feeling satisfied, just kind of achy.
Now that have nearly eliminated sugar and white carby foods, I don't binge anymore.
Now that have nearly eliminated sugar and white carby foods, I don't binge anymore.
I think this is extremely important. uber I have read many posts like yours at Mark's Daily Apple. I refer you there to see if it fits YOUR hunger. I will let you decide if this is under the heading of intermittent fasting (IF) or not.
I agree with Lori, Glory87 great to see you posting again.
Tales of a Binger
The only times in my life that I've not cared or thought about binging have been during weight loss mode or times of extreme high stress. 
