A Question for the Maintainers

  • I’m not a maintainer, yet, but trying to work on it! I want to throw this out there in case any of you have experienced it. Specifically for those that lost, maintained and gained.....and eventually lost again to be here! (Congrats, btw!)

    OK, so…. my scales tell me I lost weight, my clothes tell me that I lost inches and countless people I work with have commented on it. The problem is, I have P.F.S – Phantom Fat Syndrome! When I touch my body I feel that I lost weight but when I look in the mirror, I see minimal change. So what I have been doing is lowering my goal weight as I get within 10-15 pounds of it. It’s a combination of P.F.S and me not ready to stop losing weight. I’m scared to maintain. Anyway, here is why and my question to you all ---

    Have any of you experienced phantom thinness? I mean, does your brain go the opposite way when you are in maintenance? For example, if you are not paying close attention when maintaining and gain a few pounds and you feel it in your clothes and on your body…….do you believe you look the same as you did at goal when you are standing in front of the mirror? Even if you have to put on a higher size piece of clothing?

    I have lost weight before and I gained it all back. And I swear I feel like it was all gained back overnight!! Perhaps because my mind did not catch up to my body gaining weight? Just like my mind is not catching up to me losing weight?

    Does this make sense?

    (I’m thinking too much. Borderline obsessing! LOL )
  • I think I have an unusual perspective on this.

    My inner eye sees me as 174 pounds no matter how much I weigh. So to use your terms, when I am under 174 I experience "phantom fat" and when I am above 174 I experience "phantom thinness".

    It's very strange. I figured this out on my way back down because the day I hit 174 I looked in the mirror and for the first time felt like I matched. As a skinny teenager I always thought I was fat, and it wasn't the "poor me" teenage thing. I truly thought I was huge. Then as I got up to 235 pounds I always felt ok, not nearly as big as I was. I knew I was fat, but no more so than I always thought I was anyway.

    Knowing this, figuring it out, has helped me immensely. I can now look in a mirror and see reality. Sitting here typing, viewing myself only through my own inner eyes, I feel fat. But all I have to do is go find a mirror or snap a picture and I'm brought back to reality. That's a huge change from what I experienced as a teen.
  • I have lost and regained many times . I do not want to do that anymore and have now maintained for over 3 years.
  • I have never experienced phantom thinness in the three years I've been in maintenance. When you get to a goal weight, there's a tendency to wear clothes that really fit instead of the shapeless stuff that we tend to wear when we think we're hiding how much we weigh. Because of that, it is harder to fool oneself that you look exactly the same; you can't wear the same size and you know it. Whether you choose to do anything about it is another question; those that don't wake up six months later having regained everything and wondering how that happened, when in their hearts they know they've been ignoring their body and the scale.

    Maintenance is not that scary. It takes some work and effort but that effort is what keeps your head in the game. I'm never going to be naturally thin; I still want the same crap that I ate to make me fat. I'm not one of those people who now crave vegis and whole grains and who are turned off by huge plates of nachos. I just had to make a decision about what is most important to me and make the decisions everyday that reinforce that primary decision to be thin.
  • Shan, if you have lost one pound and kept it off, you are a maintainer!

    Quote:
    For example, if you are not paying close attention when maintaining and gain a few pounds and you feel it in your clothes and on your body…….do you believe you look the same as you did at goal when you are standing in front of the mirror? Even if you have to put on a higher size piece of clothing?
    Yes. But I think it's called "denial" rather than "phantom thinness." I have definitely had times where I gained some and looked in the mirror and thought, "It's okay, I still look the same, right?" when really I don't, but I just don't want to admit to myself that I have gained. With my regain a couple years ago it took until I had regained nearly 20lbs for me to say, okay, no, I really don't look the same and I am actually getting fat again.
  • Howdy,
    I call this type of thinking the isle of denial. It has many ports of call. I must have eternal vigilance with my weight (or anything else important to me for that matter). One way this vigilance manifests itself for me is objective measurements = daily weighing (once a day, no more, no less), when I am at home, and logging all of my food everyday. I used the clothes fit as my guide and it helped me to get 5# within obesity (some ranges had me at the lower of obesity).

    I am currently shopping for a full length mirror for my clothes closet. I look at myself full length every chance I get.

    You are spot on thinking about maintenance. In fact IMHO, that should occupy your thoughts more than weight loss phase.
  • Quote:


    Yes. But I think it's called "denial" rather than "phantom thinness." I have definitely had times where I gained some and looked in the mirror and thought, "It's okay, I still look the same, right?" when really I don't, but I just don't want to admit to myself that I have gained.
    Yes, b/c even if I gain weight, I can still fit onto some/most of the clothing in my closet, albeit not the way I would like. Most recently, what caused me to really NOTICE and get back on track was seeing some photos that were taken of me. That really brought me back to reality. FOr a period of time I actually liked the way I looked in photos and then...BANG!, oy....

    BUT, the good news is that thanks to you chicks here at 3fc I am now feeling back on track and confident that I will get myself back to where I was
  • Quote: I am now feeling back on track
    and confident that I will get myself back to where I was
    kittycat,
    I find that my perceptions of myself vary with my moods.
    Relying on subjective or highly flexible standards (like clothing size) doesn't work for me.
    I agree with Karen that it is very important to use objective standards.

    Scales, mirrors, photos, tracking the amounts of one's food-intake
    all tend to be standards that are objective.
    They helped me stay on track during weight-loss
    and they do so here in Maintenance as well.
  • Fat or thin or in-between, I have no idea what I look like. Ever. I need photographs. It's akin to my not knowing what I sound like till I hear a recording of my voice. I'm way too deep inside this being & body to have a very good sense of its exterior presentation to the public. I just get little occasional glimpses, in slivers, from mirrors that are never big enough.

    Clothes-shopping & in the gym are two times when I'm not a brain in a jar, and that's probably why I like them.

    Maybe actors viewing daily rushes of films they're in are the only ones who can see themselves at all objectively & really clearly.
  • Quote: kittycat,
    I find that my perceptions of myself vary with my moods.
    Relying on subjective or highly flexible standards (like clothing size) doesn't work for me.
    I agree with Karen that it is very important to use objective standards.

    Scales, mirrors, photos, tracking the amounts of one's food-intake
    all tend to be standards that are objective.
    They helped me stay on track during weight-loss
    and they do so here in Maintenance as well.
    It's funny, tho. Even with daily weighing I can watch the scale go up and up and still! be in denial. My red alert just gets quieted due to the denial. Red lines are there for a reason and I need to remember that!!

    Good news is that, again- thx to you chicks here, I am happy to report a sense of control and accomplishment of stopping this derailed train I was on.

    ETA, it was indeed those photos that startled me out of that denial.