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Old 12-16-2010, 06:16 PM   #1
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Default Discovering you're not who you thought you were...

...I remember when I was in high school I was something a "social butterfly" but once I started gaining weight I became very introverted and didn't have many close friends. I'd rather die than talk to a stranger. I also experienced a lot of anxiety in social situations. I was obese for roughly 8-10 years and I was begining to think that I was a complete social phobe.

Now that I'm settling into my new body, I'm starting to discover my inner "social butterfly" again. Without even thinking about it I'm talking to strangers and being much more outgoing in social situations. I'm starting to wonder if that introvert wasn't really me at all.

Is anyone having personality changes?
My Journey
268 lbs - Journey Begins (January 11, 2006)
197 lbs - 71 lbs lost (October 15, 2007)
247 lbs - 50 lbs gained pregnancy (August 22, 2008)
195 lbs - baby weight gone (July 7, 2009)
168 lbs - 100 lbs lost (March 26, 2010)
148 lbs - GOAL! 120 lbs lost (July 18, 2010)
138 lbs - 10 lbs under goal (December 29, 2010)
PR 1/2 Marathon - Time 1:59:50 (November 11, 2012)
PR Marathon - Time 4:40:53 (March 18, 2012)
Today 140s & training for my Health
"There is nothing you can't have tomorrow so there is no reason to eat it all today."
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Old 12-16-2010, 06:33 PM   #2
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I've only lost 33lbs (putting me at 216.5), but I kind of know what you mean. I used to just be afraid to talk to anyone out of my comfort zone, but now I don't really have a comfort zone. I can talk to more and more people as I lose weight. Why? Because my confidence in myself grows, telling me I can do anything.
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Old 12-16-2010, 10:01 PM   #3
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I am more outgoing because That Kind of Woman (the one whom I'm always trying to impersonate, by losing weight) always seems self-confident, outgoing, and because her jokes & rejoinders always seem welcome. She gets away with things that other women don't, because of the way she looks & carries herself. Since it's like role-playing, I feel easier about doing it.
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Old 12-17-2010, 07:35 AM   #4
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For me, not so much. I'm still who I thought I was.

I wasn't always overweight. I've always been more of an introvert, but an introvert with a persona. And, I was still that way after I gained weight, and after I lost weight. I guess my weight has never been a big part of who I am.

I performed in community theater at my high weight, and I just had a tiny part in a play that ran last month. I'm not at my low weight now--I'm in between. So I guess you would say that I'm not afraid to put myself out there if it's to my advantage, although I'd rather do it as a normal-weight person than as an overweight one.

"My religion is kindness." --His Holiness the Dalai Lama

Last edited by JayEll; 12-17-2010 at 07:35 AM.
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Old 12-17-2010, 08:38 AM   #5
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Its funny, I've actually become a bit more of a recluse. I remember when I was at my heaviest/ or during other heavy periods, I try to please people to make up for my unfortunate appearance, to make them like me more. I listen intensely to everything they say, ask probing questions to help them figure out their problems. Funny thing is, when you do this, very few ever actually ask how you are doing. Anyway....

When I am skinnier I don't care so much.... I lose a bit of my overcompensating niceness. Its sort of like: either you like me or you don't. Well, I'm not quite that extreme - I still do care a bit if people like me, but you get the point.
One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well. - Virginia Woolf

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Old 12-17-2010, 09:18 AM   #6
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I'm definitely not the same person I've been for so many years while I was morbidly obese.
I realised this first back in September when hubby and I were out one evening for a meal in a restaurant and while we were waiting at the bar for our table I just started talking to people I would never have done before, and was totally confident about it.
Also when we are out running errands I talk the people now without even thinking about it, would have had my head down and been avoiding eye contact before.
Mind you, hubby said only last week that he's noticed people seem to want to talk to me a lot more now and try to start conversation with me, "because I'm hot" haha!
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Old 12-17-2010, 09:22 AM   #7
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I guess I dont notice it as much but I do hear that Im back to The Old Patra a whole lot. And I like that.
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Old 12-17-2010, 09:27 AM   #8
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I've always just been myself and not acted pretty or worried about style or anything. I wore makeup, but I didn't go any further than that. Now I'm far more worried about how I walk and how I act in public. I tend to eat with more style, too - you know, the way you lick your spoon and such. Personality wise I haven't noticed much of a difference, but time will tell. I am still getting accustomed to thinking of myself as a slim person.
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Old 12-17-2010, 09:34 AM   #9
Year 9 in Maintenance
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Originally Posted by JayEll View Post
For me, not so much. I'm still who I thought I was.
I was still that way after I gained weight, and after I lost weight.
I guess my weight has never been a big part of who I am.
This is also true of me.
I was morbidly obese for a large part of my life,
and have fought that battle since around age 9.
But, the core of me is, and has always been, the same.
My behaviour around people has not changed since arriving at normal weight.

BrightAngel - Dr. Phyllis Collins - DietHobby

Last edited by Bright Angel; 12-17-2010 at 09:34 AM.
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Old 12-17-2010, 09:34 AM   #10
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Same here. I was obese for 10 years and grew more and more introverted. I have come out of my shell much more with strangers since losing weight, but not with people I already know. I'm still the introvert with all previous acquaintances. I'm the type that you have to get to know. I'm easy to get to know if you take the time, but a casual "hello" every morning for eight years isn't going to do it. LOL!

I'm having a hard time talking to men though. My mom always said I didn't know how to flirt and now I feel like every time a man holds my gaze, I'm flirting. I do not know how to deal with that yet...and my face immediately burns bright red! I hate it!
Long term goal: To still be calorie counting 11/9/2010
mini goals: ~211-10% lost;12/24/09 ~203 class I obesity 1/28/10; ~199 Onederland/15% 2/19/10; ~188-20%; ~185 half way 5/14/10; 179-bye 180's 6/12/10; ~174 overweight 7/3/2010;169-bye 170's 8/13/10;~164-30% 10/23/2010159-bye 160's~11/1/10; 153-35%~12/23/10; 149-bye 150's~2/11/11; 145 normal~2/14/2011; ~141-40%; 139-bye 140's ~135 GOAL! (129-45%; 117.5-50%)

My "goal" story: http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/goal...goal-post.html
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Old 12-19-2010, 03:45 AM   #11
Staying the Same
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My personality has become more subdued and quietly confident. I used to be really focused on being "weird" or on standing out when I was heavier. Nowadays I'm perfectly okay with just...being. I've always been and will always be pretty darn outgoing though.
Push on some more!

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Old 12-28-2010, 11:04 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by Eliana View Post

I'm having a hard time talking to men though. My mom always said I didn't know how to flirt and now I feel like every time a man holds my gaze, I'm flirting. I do not know how to deal with that yet...and my face immediately burns bright red! I hate it!
Oh my gosh, Eliana. That is exactly how I feel. I work in a profession where almost all of my colleagues and all of my clients are women, and all of my close friends are women, so I really don't have a lot of social contact with men and when I do socialize with men, I was always very backed off and totally neutral. I don't even know what it means to be flirtatious. So, now, I'm friendlier and more outgoing but I feel like I'm flirting all the time. It's so embarrassing and awkward. Plus I'm pushing fifty and married, so even slimmer I'm not exactly heating up the room with my presence.

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.--Winston Churchill
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Old 01-09-2011, 11:18 AM   #13
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If I get more outgoing, I'm going to be in trouble! LOL I already am a huge flirt and have always been. It's harmless flirting and I just enjoy it. It's fun. But I might have to cut that out because people may take me more seriously when I'm my svelte sexier size 6! LOL
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Old 01-10-2011, 07:22 AM   #14
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I read this thread before and thought, "I haven't changed. Same personal problems..."

Actually, something IS different.

Last year I was curious about clothes. I was dreaming about meeting my weight loss goal, so I went online to see what's out there. Now I've got so many pictures of clothes I've always dreamed about wearing, but never could have fit into. Soon that dream will be a reality.

I was NEVER into fashion (clothes, shoes, accessories), but I'm slowly easing into it. When you're so big you've got to settle for whatever is there, so it'll be weird to wear what I want to, not what fits. I'm not on Sex and the City's level in terms of loving clothes, but I'm already planning my wardrobe and how I can show my personality through my clothes.

I look forward to it! There are so many beautiful clothes out I've blinded myself to since I was small. In the next 3-4 months (hopefully) I'll enter maintenance and it'll be my turn to strut my stuff!

2006 Awaken - 2016 Reborn
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