I am certain though, that saying it that way, makes her feel better about the choices she makes. None the less it is down right nasty and rude and it pi$$es me off.
Agreed! Like we are being selfish for making ourselves, and our health, a top priority. No! It is because we take good care of ourselves that we are able to take great care of our families too!
This is coming from the mom that just hosted overnight and packed off 5 young choir boys (with sack lunches), who were on tour and visiting our church. I had agreed to take 3, but we got 6-8" of snow and one of the host families couldn't get into town, so I came home with 5 last night, ages 10-14. DS15 was a great help. And yep, I fed them a huge breakfast of an egg bake, pancakes and homemade cinnamon rolls (they ate all of them--I never got one. One boy ate 16 pancakes. I think he was going for a record!
Usually I'm more amused than offended by snarky comments (especially the ones thinly disguised as compliments), but MIL really pulled a super nasty not long ago. Hubby and I each have lost more than 80 lbs. We do joke about being fat (heck we joke about our disabilities - as a coping mechanism and stress reliever, humor, even dark humor is good medicine).
Hubby's mother wrote him a long letter that we refer to as the "you're fat" letter (mind you this is AFTER we've each lost 80 pounds). The letter was essentially three pages of whining about how our obesity (especially hubby's) is hurting her, and how cruel it is of us/him to put her through it, and how she's so worried about us, because we (especially hubby) are gaining more and more weight each time she sees us (no, we're both losing), and how much it hurts her when we joke about our weight ("you are not a joke").
I do "get" her discomfort about the joking. A lot of people are offended by self-deprecating humor.
The timing of the letter was just so strange. Either it was a passive-aggressive way to dismiss our efforts (after all we look just as fat or even fatter), or this "letter" has been brewing for a while, and she realized she had to use it while we were still fat enough for the letter to seem "caring" and not just ridiculous.
Quite frankly, I have a hard time being too offended by most comments about my weight anymore. I'm so gushingly proud of my accomplishment, that even the comments from people who intentionally try to be snarky about it, reach my ears as compliments, lol.
I had a friend who simply refused to believe that I lost the weight just with calorie counting insist that I must have a crazy fast metabolism. She'd say I could eat whatever I want and not gain weight, but if she ate the same thing, she'd put on the pounds. She said this while she was eating pizza and I was not eating anything because I had a planned lunch waiting for me at home.
Once in Walmart, I had a very drunk girl I didn't know (ahh, college towns...) cuss me out and call me a "skinny b****" over and over and saying how she could snap me in two after she smashed into me with her cart. I could tell she was trying hard to offend me...I've never been so complimented in my life.
I've had a few friends half-jokingly call me too skinny. But it doesn't really bother me. I know for a fact that I'm not too skinny, and it's not their body anyways.
Perhaps the most hurtful comments come from my fiance's uncle. We visit them and play cards and hang out on occasion. He's a rough-around-the-edges retired Vietnam vet who never fails to speak his mind. He's not bashful about admitting that he likes women with some meat on their bones. He never fails to miss an opportunity to call me a walking twig or a bag of bones or that I need to be fattened up. Generally the "you're too skinny" comments roll off my back because, as I said, I know I'm perfectly healthy. But just the way he says it, with a curled lip in disgust, it gets old after awhile. It's like yes, you have established that you find my body revolting, I'm so sorry to have offended you...new subject. But even that...it gets annoying and it's rude, but I can't really say I'm really hurt by it.
I know I'm healthy and happy at this weight, I know I'm confident, and I know that I'm eating a full balanced diet. People that try to bring me down are either jealous or trying to cover up their own insecurities or just plain not worth listening to. They don't realize that their attempts at picking on me are backfiring because I'd rather be called too skinny than too fat any day, lol.
ETA: I just saw saef's post which made me think of the other category of rude comments. Backdoor insults disguised as compliments. I've had a few people say things like "You finally look like a pretty lady" and the like. Yes, it's a compliment that I'm now a pretty lady, but it implies that I was definitely not before, lol.
Off topic, I know, but I'm curious what you wrote a book about Saef....Since I joined, I've really enjoyed reading your posts - you just have a great way with words
i've been really lucky. Almost all the comments i receive are good, supportive ones. i generally enjoyed the compliments and extra attention. i think a few months ago my sister in law told me i wasn't that big before.(because she's seen many people that were much bigger.) actually, she didn't see me at my starting weight, if she did, only briefly. i had gained another 10 or so lbs last year before i 'started' my 'diet'.
but what i said was, if i hadn't thought i was 'big', then i wouldn't have lost the weight. i had to reach my 'bottom'.(lol that's kind of a pun.)which she agreed with.
i don't think that was really negative, just maybe an observation.
Not related to weight loss, but once after I dyed my hair someone actually said, "Did you do something different? You look less pasty and sickly!"
Yup. That actually happened.
Once in Walmart, I had a very drunk girl I didn't know (ahh, college towns...) cuss me out and call me a "skinny b****" over and over and saying how she could snap me in two after she smashed into me with her cart. I could tell she was trying hard to offend me...I've never been so complimented in my life.
For some reason I can't stop laughing at this. That's SO funny! I'd be complimented as heck too.
I was always the "skinny girl" when I wa younger, the one who could eat anything and never gain weight......After hitting my 30's and having 5 kids, the weight was creeping up and at 5'6" I was 172 back in June. So now that I've lost 32 pounds, everyone says things like "Well you always had a good metabolism so its easy for you" or "Must be nice to lose weight so easily". As if all I did was wish the weight away and it was gone LOL I was biking like crazy all summer, walking, exercising at home, weighing every piece of food....and usually the people who say these things are the ones who SAY they are dieting but in the next breath talk about the pizza or cake they ate last night....and the night before....LOL
Like we are being selfish for making ourselves, and our health, a top priority. No! It is because we take good care of ourselves that we are able to take great care of our families too! 
One boy ate 16 pancakes. I think he was going for a record! 
