I wish I could lay a pipeline from NY to Wales & send you some of the heat in my apartment, Birchie. I've got several radiators turned off to ensure that I don't spend the season living in a hothouse atmosphere, which tends to leave me very sleepy at my laptop & prevents me from wearing my nice sweaters. This is one of the hazards of apartment living, without a thermostat under one's control. A wrench to turn the daisy-shaped dials on the radiator is one of my most useful tools.

I am sick today so no exercise. I'm quite bummed because I've exercised every day so far in November. Hope to feel better tomorrow.

Friday Nov 12:
NRLW, Stage 1, Workout A
3 sets of squats, seated rows, pushups, stepups and prone jackknifes.

I seem incapable of following the simple instructions in this book. I was all psyched to do three sets, then realized only two were prescribed. Decided to do them anyway, and I feel great today! Did the squats with 55 lbs and am not particularly sore today (Saturday) but tomorrow may feel it -- which will stink b/c I think I have an 8 mile run.

Saturday, Nov. 13: 45 minute spin class
60 minute Pilates class


Okay, I am insane, because I was tearing myself up inside today, thinking about how I was going to fit in the Sunday 9 AM spin class, with the brilliant taskmaster Tricia, and still get home & showered, made up & out the door, & driving for two hours to pick up an antique porcelain jardiniere & have lunch with friends on the CT shoreline in view of a lighthouse. I felt frantic. Why, why, why did it take a moment chatting with a friend at the gym to realize this was not going to happen? I can go at 7 AM & do cardio, alone, and get done all that I need to do. Why am I so rigid about adhering to my routine, even when it makes me crazy?

I need to let go.

Missing spin & not doing an hour of weights on Sunday as usual will not make me deteriorate overnight.

But why on earth do I feel that way?

Not good, not good.

FLEXIBILITY.

LIFE SOMETIMES COMES BEFORE EXERCISE ROUTINE.

Breathe, saef.

From my experience, easing up has some good effects further down the road. Use tomorrow as part of (as a whole?) controlled experiment. Monitor the positives and let the negatives take care of themselves.

Collect the jardiniere. Meet your friends. Enjoy the shore. Admire the lighthouse. (Stripey? What colour? Big? Automated? Redundant?) Eat some great food and blow about in the wind. I'll meet you all there.

Ooh. It's hard sometimes. Ooh ooh.

Thank you for the pipeline offer. It's surely just a digging job. Pretty straightforward actually.

I put on the purlins for the roof today. When I drill, I feel my abs tightening. This is so good - that I've got these working muscles and that they work hard, on their own. Tomorrow is probably a creosoting day. I just love this project which I would not have been strong enough for a few years ago.

:wave: to all. Keep going! We are doing so well.

I hear you Saef! I hope you ended up having a marvelous day!

I was very disappointed that I didn't make it to the gym yesterday as I was sick and I made myself go today even though I'm nowhere near 100%. I don't think I'm contagious but I hate when sick people go to the gym as that is probably where I caught this bug! I don't like to get out of my routine either!

Nov. 12: sick:p

Nov. 13: 60 minutes elliptical

Totals: 12 days
670 minutes

The boundaries can get pretty fuzzy, saef.

If one isn't careful, everything in life can become a job at which one must perform.

More demands, more requirements, more targets... instead of stress going down, it goes up. Even the things that are supposed to reduce stress can become stressful...

So--I hope you had an enjoyable time near the lighthouse. Letting go is a good thing. Plan the plan, don't plan the outcome... be flexible, allow change. Change will happen anyway.

Jay

Very wise and profound thoughts Jay.
I need to read and reread them and take them to heart.
Thank you.

Saef, I hope you had a good day.

Sunday, Nov 14
8.1 mile run
77 minutes

Glorious weather for a run. I love Fall.

Today was a teaching moment -- learning something that I need to relearn over & over again.

Why am I so damn hard on myself?

My willpower ... scares me. Yes, it gets me in the door of the gym on days when I feel tired or uninspired or not up to making the effort, when it's rainy & dark & I'd rather sleep in or read the Times & have another cup of coffee. But my willpower can also turn on me, by becoming an unkind taskmaster, making me literally fearful of what will happen if I don't get all done that I'm ***supposed to.*** Avoiding that inadequate feeling sometimes leads me to impose a truly frantic, anxiety-causing routine upon myself.

Yes, you read that right: I am the one imposing the routine that makes me despair, "How will I ever get it all done?" Me. Not my job, or at least only in part.

Also, I realize that there's some "magical thinking" involved about getting to the gym: If I do my workout, somehow I really do believe that it will save me, that I'm good for that day at the very least, for 24 hours, until I have to do it again.

Yes, it's supposed to **save me.** I really feel that way about it. In other words, it is a ritual, in a sense. Save me from what? Plummeting back into a morass of fatness? Instantly bloating up like Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon?

Do I always feel just one missed workout away from being a fat lazy slob?

Is the workout how I assert my NOT-SLOBNESS?

Well, yes, a workout will help save you from being fat, over time, if repeated often enough ... but missing ONE DAY or rather, not even missing a day, but not doing the day's CORRECT routine, is not a despicable failure, an example of weakness or poor planning or lack of ambition.

There's that fuzzy line again between obsessive/compulsive behavior & a commitment. I like to ride over it routinely. (It needs a rumble strip near it, so that I wake up & realize what the heck I am doing.)

Anyway, after that soliloquey ... I got up early, got to the gym at 7 AM, did 60 minutes on the elliptical, had about fifteen minutes left & grabbed a few weights heavier than I have at home.

Then I left the gym. Got dressed up. Went to see my perfectly wonderful friends, in the sunlight, in unseasonably warm weather. Had one glass of some wine from New Zealand. (Everyone's wine comes from New Zealand or Australia these days.) Had a nice grilled piece of tuna & some veggies. Admired the salt marshes & the lighthouse. (It's a working one, Birchie.
It's this one. http://www.lighthouse.cc/lynde/history.html ) Got my jardiniere which looks lovely in the living room under my leggy Federal demilune table. I can't believe how long the foliage colors are lasting in New England this year.

Lesson learned ... until the next time I overschedule ... which will come within the next two weeks, right at Thanksgiving.

The lesson is: To sometimes ask less of myself.

Nov 13: ran 4 miles plus warmup and cooldown, about 51 mins for the 4 miles

Nov 14: swam about 45 mins (included time helping DH work on his form and breathing), 24 laps:
- 2 warmup swim
- 2 kicking
- 16 ladder to 4 lengths and back
- 2 one-armed swimming
- 1 breaststroke
- 1 backstroke
Walked 45 mins.

Monday, Nov. 15:
60 minutes arc trainer, hill intervals, resistance at 8
60 minutes circuit training class

I felt great at the gym today, more energetic than usual, and strangely relieved to be back to my schedule.

Tuesday, Nov. 16:
15:06 rowing on Concept II, 2:25 for 500 meters, 2,990 meters, 41 s/m, for a projected total of 6,083
60 minutes of weights
45 minute spin class in the evening

Nov. 14: 60 minutes elliptical

Nov. 15: 60 minutes boxing boot camp

Totals: 14 days
790 minutes