One of my friends recently made a snide comment about me not wanting to go out to eat anymore because of "my diet". I let it drop, but I wanted to say eating healthy is how I eat for now on, its not a diet. It isn't something that is going to be "okay, now I'm there, this is over" kind of thing. It isn't a destination as it is a life long thing.

This made me to question whether I even really want a goal weight at all. As long as I'm eating healthy and exercising, should I just go with wherever I end up?

Did anybody just give up on the idea of having a weight loss destination?

i completely agree. its about your lifestyle. once we are healthy, i think we should just go by how we feel, our body comp, muscle tone etc. we have to stop letting a number be the boss. its just a number. but of course its a good idea to have a range of wt to stay within in maintenance.
i set small goals, then as i go i'll see how i feel at that wt. emotionally, i have days when i feel fine the way i am. i'm still officially obese. but i've lost almost 40#. i have more self esteem than in yrs. i havent been this thin for close to 5 yrs. i've changed my lifestyle. my kids have only known me as the fat lazy grumpy mom. oldest is 9. so now i'm setting great ex. we exercise together, more often i w/o alone, but they know i do. they can see the difference. i'm not expecting to get really skinny. sw 230. then 215, 210, 200, now about 192. i am confident i can get to 170 before christimas. i may be completely happy with my body then. i'm working on building muscle, its just a matter of if the fat is still covering it.

Well, if you want to try that route, you could come up with what seems to be a realistic maintenance calorie intake, and use that as your average target. Also come up with a realistic exercise target. Try staying with these for at least a couple of weeks, and possibly more, and see what happens, knowing that you may need to adjust it as time goes on.

Lots of maintainers set a "red line" weight--if they reach that weight, they go back to the weight loss plan until they get back down again.

The actual number on the scale isn't that important, as long as the fluctuations either upward or downward don't get too big. You're 6'3" and weigh 194, which is a normal BMI, although kind of close to the upper limit. But, BMI is only a rough guideline--it's not based on anything other than height and weight.

How do you feel? Are you feeling good most of the time? Are you too tired, or do you feel hungry a lot? All of these can help you decide what to do next.

Jay

Matt, more and more I am thinking weight means zilch! And am targeting body fat %. I know for sure I dont want my body fat% to drop too low, but not sure what weight that will put me at.

As we age, even if weight stays the same who knows what body composition is...to ensure muscle mass stays good, I also think body fat + weight + measurements are better.

And who knows if I will feel as good at the same body fat% forever?

It feels annoying though, hehe. After losing 100+ lbs with all those goals to not have an endpoint. I think as humans we like to aim for something specific we can wrap our heads around and celebrate when we achieve. But I think you basically nailed it....its a constantly adjusting target, but the course is the same.

I had to give myself a goal weight, and a bottom line redline in addition to a top line redline. For me I found myself initially losing way too much, reached what felt healthy and the kept on going for another ten pounds and had trouble making myself quit. I recognize my crazy, so had to have a 'too low, eat more' limit. I don't have to worry about that so much now that I've maintained for a while.

I'm not focusing on the number so much now as the way I feel, the fit of my clothes, and the body fat percentage.

So, you could do well with continuing your healthy eating and exercise and see what happens. Like Jay said, pick what seems like a healthy maintenance range for where you want to be and see what happens.

On the comment your friend made, it is hard sometimes for people to recognize that it is a lifestyle change, not a diet that will go away. We are programmed to think 'once the diet is over I can go right back to ...' Sorry your friend was snarky about it.

I'm kind of there right now. My original goal was to lose 100 lbs. When that was in sight, I reset goal to a weight that would put me into normal BMI range. But honestly don't really care if I lose another pound. I like the way I eat now and the amount I exercise so just going to stay in this calorie range and exercise amount and see what my body decides.

Matt-
Good for you for being aware of your eating. Isn't that so different from a lot of people.

I am experimenting with a lower weight number. I don't want to have to get smaller clothes, ringed resized, etc... I definitely have an upper limit for my weight. I have a range but this isn't firmed up yet.

I weigh every morning, first thing. Not any more. Not any less unless I am traveling. I did not do very well in the isle of denial.

No, wl and maintanence does not end but I have yet to find the burden of wnating to quit. I feel to wonderful and I remember too vividly how it was to be overweight.

I have adjusted my goal weight up by 5 lbs. because I picked the intial number without a lot of thought about it.

Now my body is fighting my efforts to get to the new goal weight and I might have to settle for another 3 lb. upward adjust.

But I look fine and I feel great so what the heck!

I was one of those people who didn't have a clue that maintenance would be "for life" so I can see what your friend was thinking, although he/she expressed it in a rather brutal way.

Go with whatever feels healthy and just make a note of what that weight is and how much you fluctuate from it.

I definitely have a red line top weight (and I do cross it ocassionally) and I find this is really helpful to keep me from gaining it all back. My entire weight loss was not so large so it would be easy for me to gain it all back in a short time period.

Dagmar

Hi,

My preference is to have a goal range of 5 lbs. I don't want to get above that ever, so it gives me a goal to stay within.

One reason for particular BMI goals are for insurance purposes. If you ever have to buy health insurance, as I have had to since I lost my job, they will up the monthly rates if you are overweight and again if you are obese. I succeeded in getting my rates reduced twice as I normalized my weight per their requirements.

Sorry your pal was uncool about your choices.

Woodland

My scale has a body fat setting and I checked that last night. It said my body fat percentage was 13.9%. That is down a little over 1% from last month.

I think my goal is going to be a body fat percentage under 10% and not worry too much about the scale. I will be adding muscle soon as I need to get back to a weight lifting routine.

While I don't think I want to have a definitely bottom number (I guess my body will decide that) I don't want to go above 200 even with muscle gain. I figure there is still around 15 pounds of fat that could be lost and I'd like to put on 10 or so pounds of muscle.

Hey Matt,

Some sources I looked at indicate that under 10% body fat for a male is for athletes like body builders and gymnasts. For fitness the range seems to be 14%-18%. Just FYI.

Also, the scales can be inaccurate. The best tests for body fat percentage are the caliper tests (which have to be done by a trained individual, and even then can be tricky because of loose skin) and the floatation test. Again, just FYI.

Jay

I needed/still need a specific number to shoot for, to keep at. Otherwise for me, it would be too easy to allow myself to step over it. And for me, that very well could be the beginning of the end.

It's not a single number mind you, but a range. Just like I need a daily calorie number to adhere to (forced portion control), I need a weight number to keep at (forcing me to not re-gain).

I am in the process of seeing if I can go lower, and making my range narrower. We shall see where it takes me.

I'm another one who needs a specific number. I've had a tendency in the past to gain weight and then rationalise it in various ways, like these...

1.(While still under original goal weight, even after a large gain) I'm still within goal.
2. (After going higher) I'm maintaining here, so even if I'm not the weight I want to be, it could be a lot worse.
3. (After not maintaining after all). It's just temporary gain due to Christmas/holiday.

I alternated between 2 and 3 for years. That kind of laid-back attitude is handy when dieting because I don't panic and give up every time there's a plateau, but it hasn't worked so well for me when trying to maintain. So now that I've settled around 162-163 as my usual maintenance weights, 165 is my line. I haven't got a lower line yet but I may do that if I feel the need.

I know if I didn't weigh myself, I would just keep losing weight. When I eat all whole foods, nothing processed for 4 days straight or longer, I lose weight like crazy cause I'm very active. I have to weigh in every morning. My red line is 110lbs. My low is 104lbs. If I fall below 104, then I eat something processed to bring my weight back up, and it always does. Sometimes too much!

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I set my goal at 157 thinking "eh that's 100 lbs and it's in the healthy range" honestly thinking I'd never see anything close to it. As I plod along and DANG I'm SO CLOSE right now... I think I might adjust it down another 10 to 15 lbs. But for me, I need something to shoot for!