I have a question for the maintainers. For those that have lost weight successfully and are keeping it off.

Lately, my pattern has been, lose some weight, maintain a bit, lose some more, maintain for a while, etc. I am really good - eating my veggies, sticking to my exercise routine. Then I have a week or weekend when I just want to drink beer, eat chips and dip and have cake. I get it out of my system and then continue on.

I guess I feel like, if I could be 100% perfect all the time, then I would easily get to goal and be done with it.

I read the stories about those who have lost a lot and the stories are similiar. Soemthing set in motion the desire to "do it for real this time" and everyone's stories make it sound like once they found a plan, they were able to perfectly stick to plan until all the weight was gone.

I feel like my journey has been stops and starts. It has been consistent... but with pauses.

I guess what I am asking is... in order to lose all my weight... do I need to be 100% on plan at all times? Has anyone reached goal and still had off days... where life gets in the way?

You absolutely, totally, do NOT have to be on plan 100% at all times to reach your goal. You just have to be on plan more often than you are off plan (calories in vs calories out, right?).

That said, I am a big proponent of planning to be off plan. My "plan" that I stick to has always included at least one meal or day per week where I'm allowed to eat whatever the heck I want (including beer, chips, ice cream, cake, whatever), even when I was losing. It gets the cravings out of my system and lets me be consistent the rest of the time.

I haven't even stuck to THAT plan 100%. Sometimes I have an off weekend or an off week where I just eat a lot of junk. I generally go off plan entirely when I'm on vacation. Being successful at loss and maintenance is about being able to pick yourself up from that, dust yourself off, and get right back to business, rather than saying, "Well, I screwed up, I might as well give up altogether."

Scraver, I lose a bit, have a bit of a maintenance rest, and then go ahead with a revised plan. I sometimes put pressure on myself that I ought to go straight through. But, I've found that I need some time to adjust to a lower weight and learn about myself before gearing up to make the necessary changes to get to a lower weight. As I go along, I'm accepting more that that is what I need in order to lose in a way I can live with, and get healthier while I'm getting thinner.

Paperclippy, thanks for the reminder to get up, dust myself off, and keep going!

Absolutly not! It took me 4 1/2 years to lose it, why? Because I wasn't 100% 100% of the time (and I had a baby) but if you take away the pregnancy and stuff, then I think it took me like 2 1/2 years to lose 120, I'm not sure I'm doing all the math right, but long story short I'd say I'm 100% 90% of the time. So far in maintenance I'm 100% closer to 80% of the time (I think I need to work on this a little though, treading on dangerous waters).

Anyway, my point is that you are doing great, just keep it up and you will get there - I promise! And if you want to get there sooner, then try 100% 95% of the time

I found it helpful to count everything, since my body counted it all whether I did or not! I didn't set out to go "off plan"--although I did have days where because of circumstances, I ate more than I had planned. Often this was a result of not knowing calorie counts.

Now I'm still trying to figure out how to work maintenance. I know enough about food and calorie counts now that I only spot check now and then. But I haven't found the key yet that will counter the slow regain I've been having for the past year and a half or so.

Good luck!

Jay

When I was losing I didn't want to be the cause of my plateau. As a maintainer, I am now trying to determine my calorie/carb limits in the midst of a lot of traveling and family time. I definitely plan, both my treats and on plan days with all of the fluidity lately.

I'm obviously not at goal, but I spent nearly 40 years "failing" because I thought I had to be perfect. I believed (even when I knew it wasn't so) that in order to succeed I had to be perfect. When I couldn't be perfect, I felt like such a failure that I would give up "What's the use, I'll never reach goal, why bother trying...."

I finally realized though that I wasn't giving up because I was failing - I was failing because I was giving up. I gave up not because I wasn't losing weight - but because I wasn't losing weight fast enough to be happy or proud of my success. No matter what I lost, I wanted to lose more - and I'd beat myself for every non-perfect choice. Instead of being happy to see one pound loss on the scale, I was crushed that it wasn't a three pound loss. Even if I followed my plan very closely and lost a large amount, I'd still accuse myself for every imperfection "I made a few mistakes this week, and I lost six pounds, and that's awesome, but I would have lost more if I had been been perfect). Even when I was doing well, I felt terrible about failing to reach perfection (which I "knew" was the secret to weight loss success).

I'd lose weight, but instead of feeling happy that I was losing weight - I felt lousy because I had so much trouble being perfect - and I knew that I really had to be. I didn't really know why I had to be perfect, I just knew that I was obviously doing it wrong if I wasn't perfect. Perfect was acceptable - only perfection was acceptable, anything less was absolute failure (no wonder I gave up).

The biggest change in how I'm doing weight loss now is giving up on the idea of perfection. Focusing on progress over perfection. I am losing slow. The closer you stay to a good foodplan, the faster you will lose - but that doesn't mean that you're failing if you're not the fastest loser on the planet. To be honest, I don't work very hard at weight loss. At full-speed, I get frustrated too easily. I think in all-or-nothing mode and do crazy stuff to get the weight off "fast." After all if perfect weight loss is perfection then 1800 calories is ok, but 1000 calories is better and 0 calories is the nirvana of perfection. Only not eating at all felt like perfection.

When I was losing 8 lbs a week, I never felt like I knew I would get to my goal weight. All of my dieting years, I felt like the odds of me getting to goal were slim (because I thought perfection was necessary to make it happen, and I was pretty sure I couldn't be perfect).

Now I'm losing slower than ever, but I don't just think I'll get to goal, I know it - because I refuse to give up and I've refused to allow myself permission to backslide (if I gain a pound I don't decide to start binging in order to "really blow it" so I can start with a clean slate tomorrow or Monday). I've essentially eliminated gaining (not counting TOM and restaurant water retention here and there).

It could take me 20 years, but I will get to goal, simply because I've eliminated the idea of quitting when I don't see progress. I have to remind myself that even lack of progress is progress for me - because in the past I was either losing rapidly or gaining rapidly "not losing, but not gaining" is amazing progress, as I've never done that before (I did have years when I didn't diet and didn't gain - but that was always at what was my highest weight at the time. I've never "not gained, but not lost" while on a downward trend before.


Sometimes I feel like I'm failing my way to my goal weight (and that's ok with me). I've "failed" off 85 lbs (the most I have ever lost. The closest I came was 70 lbs on prescription amphetemine diet pills as a teenager, which was my most rapid loss and afterward, my most rapid gain).

I know I'm ranting, but I've learned that perfection is highly overrated. I spent too many years pursuing perfection. When I couldn't perfectly succeed, I went a little wonky. If I couldn't lose weight perfectly, I definitly knew how to gain weight perfectly, so at least I could succeed at failing.

This time I'm choosing imperfect success over perfect failure. I will get to goal, even if it takes 20 years to get there. If I follow my old pattern, not only will I never reach goalt, I'll be back up to 400 lbs or more within a few months.

From Kaplods:
"All of my dieting years, I felt like the odds of me getting to goal were slim (because I thought perfection was necessary to make it happen, and I was pretty sure I couldn't be perfect)."

I really like this statement... I think it sums up the way a lot of us have thought for far too many years.
I say let's aim for perfect imperfection in our weight loss efforts!

No you don't have to be perfect, or what I like to call consistent, in order to lose all of your weight - but it will take you longer to do so. And if you're okay with longer, than that's okay!

I feel this method is actually harder - not only that it takes waaaay longer to get the weight off - but it's also hard in that the good habits don't get ingrained in you as fast - and THAT'S what makes it so hard. But also, once I *went off*, I had to get *back on* and that is HARD. For me, it was much easier to stay on. It also takes longer for the benefits to surface,with all the *stops and starts*, because when the rewards start showing themselves, it makes this journey much more motivating and enjoyable.


You have a weekend where you just want to drink beer, eat chips, dip, cake, etc... so obviously you want that MORE than you want the weight loss - or do you, because if you truly did, do you think you would have posted this???

But do remember, it's okay to not always have what you *want* if there's something you want EVEN MORE. And sometimes we just have to do the responsible, mature thing. It's more than okay to tell yourself no!!

I'm sure you've done it with other things - you wanted to sleep late and not go to work, but you got up on time never the less, you wanted to buy something super expensive, but bought a less expensive alternative, you didn't feel like doing the laundry - but you needed clean clothing.

It's more than that I was ABLE to stick to my plan - it's that I was WILLING to. Of course we're all able to. We DO have the ability to, we are more than CAPABLE of it - but it is a choice. You have to be willing to. By saying that you are unable to - you take away the power. Don't ever forget that you DO have the control over this. No one forces you to eat that cake and drink that beer. You make a conscious effort to do so, and if you like, you can make a conscious effort to NOT do so. Your choice, your doing. You. You. You.

For me, I wanted that weight loss more than I wanted some chips and dip. For me, once I made the decision to lose the weight - once and for all - I wanted to make that I did my part to ensure that. I knew (hoped) down the road I could add in such *splurges* and I have. But even now, it is ALWAYS with the knowledge that the scale WILL go up. Now that I'm in maintenance, I'm okay with that, when I was losing - nu- uh. I was not willing to. I wanted that weight OFF. I had had more than my fair share of so- called treats. It was finally time to treat myself to some real treats - superior health, energy, stamina, vitality, increased self esteem, self confidence, self worth - and a huge wardrobe!!!

But of course I found other food *treats* as well. Why eat some calorie laden foods that merely taste good? Nope, I was done settling. I found lower calorie/on plan food that tasted really good - and were good FOR ME as . It was a win/win situation.

Just curious? When you have these off plan weekends and weeks - do you plan them out in advance? Do you feel regretful about them? Do you feel regretful when you stay on plan? And perhaps your plan needs a bit of tweaking? Or just perhaps you've got to challenge yourself! Require more from yourself. Push a bit harder. Not *give in* so easily.

Or perhaps it just a case of:

"Go the extra mile, it's never crowded."

Just some food for thought.

I used to do this diet plan with a dietitian who would give me 1 day a week to eat whatever lunch or dinner I want and then go back on track. It did help to loss weight, so I don't think it is a bad thing to cheat once a week

I'm a weirdo.

Everyone will say it's bad, but I have a 'higher calorie' (ie 'cheat day') once a week - normally I eat 1500-1700/day and about 2500 on this day. it's not all junk. Matter of fact, it's pretty much my normal food but I eat more of it. Plus a cookie and some icecream.

Yup, it's not really a good habit. However, it works for me and my schedule as that's the only day my husband is home and we can go around and do stuff. Do I gain weight? Nope - been maintaining for over 6 years and have actually been losing weight lately without trying (if I lose any more I am upping my calories every other day too because I'm too old to be that skinny!!).

I don't really suggest you get into my habit, but I think a little splurge (not a BINGE) now and then is a good thing. Just keep an eye on the stats and remember your weight will often go up for a day or two after a carbfest - mine takes about two days to drop off.