[ncuneo]

...a pint, no a bucket of __________ (you deside) I don't know what is going on with me, but I want another baby so badly!!! Unfortunatly, it's just not in the cards for us right now for financial reasons. We could afford it, but things would just be tighter than we are willing to be at this juncture. The problem is I swear that EVERYONE I know is expecting right now. The other issue is that there is a very small chance I might be, small accident if you know what I mean, but the chances are pretty small and my brain is hoping so much I'm pretty sure it's inventing symptoms.

I'm really struggling to keep it together. I've done so well this year conquering my emotional eating issues. I pretty much kicked eating because of stress and sadness and was really only dealing with hormonal and bordem issues. I havent' gone off plan, but there's this little devil on my shoulder saying "you're in maintenance now (kind of, still trying for maybe 5 more) you can handle a splurge to make you feel better". Even though I KNOW it won't make anything better. The plan of attack for tonight is to go take it out on the gym.

Ok, well thanks all for listening, I really needed to talk to someone, but knew really no one else would understand...and DH is sick of hearing about it

[kittycat40]

I get it. So sorry you feel lousy. as far as drowning sorrows... I get that too. Never works except in an extremely momentary super limited way and generally brings way more aggravation than joy

How was the gym??

[Ciao]

I hope things get better
for you.

[traveling michele]

Hugs to you.
I hope you feel better soon.
We had years of infertility and misscarriages (before our 2 daughters) and I sorely remember the feeling that EVERYONE EVERYWHERE was pregnant except me!

[ncuneo]

Thanks guys, the gym was pretty good and I had a pretty good run this morning. The best news is I've stayed on plan. Just trying to ride it out...this too shall pass. The dumbest thing is I know I need more time to a) get used to my new body and b) enjoy my new body! The last thing I need is an excuse to gain weight. Anyway thanks for listening. It just feels so out of my control... It's something I really want to do, but just know the timing is just not right. The funny thing is when my son was born I thought for sure I was a one and done...but now it just feels like someone is missing from our family. Anyway, thanks again for listening.

[Thighs Be Gone]

nc, honestly there are days I really *think* I want another as well...there are several reasons why I shouldn't, so I'm not....

I think you and I both need to commend ourselves on thinking this one through and sticking to our guns...(at least so far)....sometimes being the best mom involves knowing when to stop making babies..

[Bright Angel]

The things I want are entirely different,
but I sometimes have the same feelings.
Life Happens.
Weight-loss Maintenance requires letting the feelings pass through us
....both good and bad....
without taking in excess food,
and, with Effort,
each of us can do it.

[losermom]

ncuneo, I know that when I reached maintenance that my feelings were sometimes really overwhelming for me--and I still struggle with them. I think that we are still learning how to cope with our feelings rather that eat/soothe our feelings with food. Sometimes I will allow those bad or uncontrollable feelings to wash over me and really feel them. Exercise helps too as well as 3fc. I'm glad you're feeling better.

Fwiw, at my age I no longer want more children--my youngest is 15 and I don't regret not having anymore after him. My oldest is 23 (I only have 2) so you can see I have a big gap between them. I feel like that gap allowed me to really focus on each of them when they needed it the most.

[ncuneo]

I feel like that gap allowed me to really focus on each of them when they needed it the most.

I was thinking about this a lot last night. I was laying on the couch snuggling with my almost 2 year old watching TV and just looking at him, thinking...could I do this if we had another? I'm sure we'd adapt, but those times when it's just he and I are so so special and I really worry about how he'd adjust to a sibbling. I thinking waiting is absolutly the right move for my family right now, it's just been hard with so many people in my life working on their seconds already. I'm also just panic'd because of our "accident" (long story short, because of blood clotting issues I can't take birth control and I ovulated WAY sooner than normal and am having a short cylce this month and we had unprotected a little closer to ovulation than we should have. I'm usually very regular and this has never been a problem before, sorry TMI). Anyway, although I know we'd work it out and I'd welcome another right now, I just don't feel like we'd be doing it the way we want to with the finances and emotionally preparedness that I think we need if and when we do decide to have another. And of course all this emotionalness is freaking me out because I'm usually not this bad, so of course me worst case metality is telling me OMG I must be pregnant - hormones!

But what's the point of all this? I think that it's a great lesson for me in maintenance - learning how to deal with my feelings and not turn to food as the answer. Last night I did let them wash over me and just cried for no reason...I'm so grateful that I have somewhere like here where I can come and express my feelings almost anonymously so I can really express them without filtering. It's kinda like a diary that talks back

[Petite Powerhouse]

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