Being a former super morbidly obese person, that sense of control by CHOOSING not to eat something is a big thrill for me. Doesn't matter how tasty the food is at a planned splurge, I ALWAYS enjoy NOT splurging MORE. Very odd. I guess "those" foods just don't have the same allure for me that they used to.
I am almost always disappointed and realize I could have lived without it. That coupled with the fact that I know there is ALWAYS a caloric consequence to pay for it.
I still find high-calorie food very alluring,
and, despite my reduced stomach size (17 yr old surgery);
the extremely negative consequence of "dumping" (still a factor);
my calorie knowledge and daily food journal tracking;
and my intense desire to stay inside my Maintenance Weight Range,
each day is still a struggle for me.
Yup. Me too. Sweets and carbs are my weakness. If I don't eat them, I don't uncontrollably crave them, but I still like 'em. I'd love to eat all that stuff, but most of the time I choose not to, because of the consequences. But like RockinRobin, I've learned that I never regret NOT giving into impulse and eating something that's not on plan ....
Yet another thread completely stuffed with great information from all sides of the story! I remember a health class back in high school where we had a project of writing down what we ate for a week, and then we sat down and analyzed it. That week happened to fall during our pre-season for swimming - 11 workouts for a total of 20 1/2 hours in the pool that week, plus 3 1-hour sessions in the weight room. Daily calorie average: 10,500. My BF% tested at 9.5% the following week. Those days are loooonngggg gone (thank goodness). Today I count those calories carefully and keep an eye on where they're coming from, because I'm one of "those" for whom the rule of 3500 calories = pound doesn't work. It works for carbs ... but not for proteins and fats. I can maintain on 1500 calories a day at 30/20/50 (p/f/c), but I lose easily on that same 1500 at 40/40/20. Plus, the former ratio turns me into an itchy, flaky, sluggish beeeyotch ...
Anyhow - it's a delight to come here and find the "hey, look, another way that might work!" attitude. Had I not come to 3FC, I'd probably still be crying into my salad and wondering why I was overweight.
I can maintain on 1500 calories a day at 30/20/50 (p/f/c), but I lose easily on that same 1500 at 40/40/20.
Except for the "easily" I could have written this. I lose on the latter, but still very slowly. My big problem is that I really really like carbs. I don't (anymore) eat storebought cookies, cakes, candy, etc. and try to keep homemade goodies to a minimum (hard this time of year). My problem comes with bread, pasta, rice, cereal - and there I keep to whole grains about 95% of the time. But when I cut these out of at least one meal a day, I do better. Eating carbs at only one meal is even better for me, but I find it really hard. Maintaining is my goal through this season (which for me ends on my birthday Jan 7). I am working my darnest to keep "treats" to the individual events, and remind myself that it's about the people, not the food.
Yup. Me too. Sweets and carbs are my weakness. If I don't eat them, I don't uncontrollably crave them, but I still like 'em. I'd love to eat all that stuff, but most of the time I choose not to, because of the consequences. But like RockinRobin, I've learned that I never regret NOT giving into impulse and eating something that's not on plan ....
^^^^ This is true for me as well. ^^^^
Maybe I shouldn't have used the phrase that those foods just don't hold the same allure for me as they used to - although they don't. My tastes HAVE changed as well as my priorities and my standards.
I don't crave the sweets or carbs WHEN they're not around. But often when I *see* them, I WILL want them. So it's not an actual craving - it's a *but I'm a spoiled child and I WANT it rant*. It's an IMPULSE type thing. And since it's not an actual craving, it's easier to talk yourself down from it.
The other thing about eating those foods is that I KNOW I will feel lousy AFTERWARDS. And that is very important to me - now. I THINK about how I will feel AFTER I eat them.
That reminder has never been helpful to me.
I'm going to step out here and admit that for me...it's the food.
I've attended a lot of social events in my life, personal and professional,
with a variety of "interesting" people
Almost all of them involving food.
and without exception, I find that I look forward far more to the food
than I do to the time with the people.
In fact, I see the food as my reward for being around the people.
I doubt if I'm wrong in anticipating negative reactions for this admission....
"......(gasp)....She is definitely not a people person."
But is there anyone else here who feels this way and is willing to admit it?
I'm definitely an introvert, and social gatherings can be stressful sometimes, but I couldn't say I look forward to the food at things so much, just because it's not usually so great. My ideas about food have changed so much. Not that some junk doesn't still appeal to me, but if I'm not going to eat it (because I choose not to), then obviously I'm not going to be looking forward to it.
My hubby is thin and always has been. He eats lots and lots and loves cakes and pies and things. He is definitely not a sit down kinda guy though. He is always on the move. Also, he eats the sweets in moderation--not because he "tries" to--he just naturally doesn't want any more. He only drinks soda on Friday night and drinks coffee and water all day.
I don't really like the food or the people at those gatherings! I know that's awful but it's true. I don't usually like other people's cooking so it's not a temptation. But I have used the food (or booze...or the fact that I have to go outside to smoke...or whatever else) at those gatherings in order to occupy my attention because I hate being there so much. But now since I gave up drinking, I quit smoking and I'm only eating one meal (and I'll be damned if I'm going to waste my one meal on bad food!) I have to be honest with myself and others and refuse a lot of invites. Or I will go and leave early. It's okay if people think I'm antisocial. It's true. Why do I have to pretend to be something I'm not?
And I did notice one interesting thing about my eating habits. I love to cook and I used to taste the food as I make it. You know, to see if the seasoning is right and whatnot. Well now that I'm only eating once a day, I can't "try" anything. All those little bites add up! So now I have to just trust my instincts and/or adjust the flavoring right before serving. Things are usually fine. I still chew pasta to test it's doneness since I haven't found another reliable alternative, but I spit it out. haha TMI?
Well, I was really talking about parties with friends, not business gatherings, which I agree can be tedious/boring/whatever, and likely as not don't have good food. But a party with friends I enjoy.
When I was super morbidly obese I dreaded parties, social events, school functions - oh, just about everything that involved people (social event or not). And the only thing I DID look forward during these events WAS the food. I couldn't find joy in anything else really, feeling so miserable about my self.
But joyfully that has changed. Now I feel so confident, relaxed, peaceful, playful, sociable, natural and at ease, I view the food as just a minor inconvenience. I actually wish it weren't there at all. Why DOES every single thing we do revolve around food???
Bright Angel, I'm sorry that you're still experiencing the feeling of the food being the highlight.
Bright Angel, I understand. I'm not one for a lot of chit-chatting myself. So sometimes it feels like the whole occasion is a series of land-mines. I have to concentrate on not eating too much or things I shouldn't and at the same time either struggling to find new topics of conversation or repeating the same ones over and over with different people. So what DO you talk about at parties?
I have found the best way out of it for me is, if possible, help with something. I help with clean-up or entertain someone who looks out of place.
Bright Angel, I understand.
I'm not one for a lot of chit-chatting myself.
I like being alone, and am naturally a bit hermit-like,
although I've always had a chameleon-like ability to fit in with most people/places.
I feel good about myself, both appearance and personality etc.
Years of Therapy helped me to accept myself and my appearance,
even before I lost my weight.
I love looking at myself in the mirror,
and I enjoy one-to-one contact when the mood strikes me,
but I still don't enjoy those get-to-gether situations,
whether they are professional, friends, or family.
I have become accustomed to doing things my way, on my time,
and feel a bit bored and put upon when I have to do otherwise.
For me, all of those events are "social obligations",
something that is required of me, which I have to force myself to do...
when I prefer my own rather isolated activites.
However, I do still love to eat,
and social events usually have some form of tasty food.
For me the Food IS the good thing about the event,
even though I have such difficulty controlling myself around it.
Regarding social events and parties, I generally do like them. Honestly, I am more likely to drink too much alcohol (depending on what it is) rather than eat too much. I'm kind of a social gadfly and like to talk and meet new people. Since I've been losing weight, I make a purposeful intention to focus, and enjoy, the people around me. I do eat, but try to only eat what looks really good to me, which can be different at different times. I am also trying not to drink too much. I'm not one that wants to eat more when they're drinking.
Howdy,
I have my third social event this week tomorrow at my home. I like focusing on the people and not the food. However, if it is at a particular restaurant I enjoy, then it is the food over the people.
I am thinking of a Mexican place we went to for breakfast on Tuesday or whenever we go to a good Chinese buffet place with a variety of sushi. Both of these places requires me to plan for larger calories expenditures. There is also an Indian restaurant in the near future that I am indeed looking forward to.
Karen
Those days are loooonngggg gone (thank goodness). Today I count those calories carefully and keep an eye on where they're coming from, because I'm one of "those" for whom the rule of 3500 calories = pound doesn't work. It works for carbs ... but not for proteins and fats. I can maintain on 1500 calories a day at 30/20/50 (p/f/c), but I lose easily on that same 1500 at 40/40/20. Plus, the former ratio turns me into an itchy, flaky, sluggish beeeyotch ... 
