As I close in on my goal I am hearing more and more from people that I am "getting too thin", "look drawn" or "wasting away". etc
I usually hear this from well meaning friends or people I haven't seen in awhile etc and I just take it as par for the course considering how much weight I've lost. However today I heard it form my 17 y/o son. He sat me down and told me he was going to have an intervention for me because I was too thin and that even his friends thought so. I was floored! I am not too thin. They've never known me as anything but overweight so compared to what I did look like, I am very thin.
I tried to reassure him and explain that I'm now entering maintenance phase and have slowed down in weight loss and exercise. I told him my doctor recommended I aim for around 130. I showed him the BMI chart and how many calories I burn and eat to maintain my weight etc. He still didn't care, he's worried. I think some of his feelings are stemming from his ex girlfriend having an eating disorder.
How do you all deal with these comments and feelings from others?
You know, losing weight has been so wrought with emotion for me! I never bargained for all of this when I started my journey. What a wake up call.
Just so you know, I'm 5'5" have a small frame and weigh 138. I truly believe that I am far from "underweight".
*I'm not sure if this is the right place for this, so I'm sorry if it's in the wrong place.
I am 5'11" and weigh 190 pounds. My best friend tells me I am too thin every time she sees me. Obviously at size 12 pants and a 36G bra I am NOT too thin; it's just that she is accustomed to seeing me a lot fatter.
Your doctor should be a good judge of how thin is too thin. If you feel healthy, don't have a bunch of bones sticking out, and your doctor is pleased with where you are then I would say you're on the right track. It's just going to take people awhile to get used to your new shape.
One thing is that it takes our skin awhile to "catch up" so perhaps your face particularly needs to sort of settle in to your new weight. Your son also needs to get used to seeing you this size, as will his friends. You - and your doctor - know that you're not too thin. Congrats - I'll bet you look terrific!
People only see the result, they don't see it took you hard work and effort, all the 'behind the scenes' things. Many people might assume eating disorder, because it seems to be ingrained in our culture to do this anytime someone looses weight. Just because I look at the back of the box when I eat something or any time I move a piece of food on my plate I get the same reactions from family members, especially when I was thinner for a while.
I get it all the time...I'm 5 ft. 8.5 inches tall and weigh 140. I've been maintaining 138-143 for a year or more, and I still get comments all the time. People are SHOCKED that I eat when they "catch" me doing it....they think I starve myself.
It's all relative and it depends on you personally. It's hard to put these numbers in a box and say what's "too" anything.
To be the voice of dissent though, personally, in my very own humble opinion, at 5'5½" if *I* weighed 138 lbs I would be absolutely skeletal. The lowest I've been in my adult life was around 148 and even I didn't like what I saw in the mirror.
Remember that when we are "fat" people see us differently than how we see ourselves in the mirror. The same goes for when we are "thin". We may NOT actually see that it's "too thin". Going to the doctor just to be sure is NEVER a bad idea - and at least that would shut people up if you were to tell people even your doctor found you to be at a healthy and sustainable weight.
edited to add: sorry, I see your doctor actually says it's ok to go for 130. So why is your goal weight 120?
Other people's perspectives on our weights are interesting. I have people who say "Wow, you keep losing weight." Ummm....actually, I'm not. I've been + or - 5 lbs for > 1 yr now, +5 lbs at the moment, thank you very much.
Mindy...you are exactly as I am on height and weight. I get it all the time that I am too skinny. It is just others have seen me overweight so long that I do look skinny.
To be the voice of dissent though, personally, in my very own humble opinion, at 5'5½" if *I* weighed 138 lbs I would be absolutely skeletal. The lowest I've been in my adult life was around 148 and even I didn't like what I saw in the mirror.
More voices: I'm taller than PinkyPie at 5'7", currently weigh less at 132.5, and am no where near skeletal. It's really hard to guess what some else weighs or should weigh. But it's certainly clear the range is very wide.
I too get the comments. Usually it doesn't bother me too much except for the "wasting away" one. It makes me feel like the person saying it thinks I look sick or something. I know people are just not used to seeing me like this. Not only did I lose as much weight as another person weighs, but an obese person at that, takes awhile for peoples brains to catch up with your new body. It is awesome that your son cares enough to even notice your weight, a lot of teen boys don't even know their mothers eye color...lol Just keep assureing him and if he still worries, have your doctor or his nurse call him and talk to him about it. Congrats on your outstanding dedication to health.
Summer, I have a couple thoughts. First is that if you are aiming for a weight set by a doctor, which is in the normal range on the BMI chart, then that really ought to be fine. Second is that like others have said, when you lose a lot of weight sometimes since it takes your skin a while to recover, you may look gaunt for a little while. As the skin tightens up it's less noticeable. Third is that you may want to get your body fat percentage checked. If your bf% is very low, then you might look "too thin" despite being at a healthy weight on the BMI chart, since the BMI chart does not account for very muscular people.
All in all though, I would be glad that your son is concerned! It shows that he cares. If he is really upset about it have him talk to your doctor so that your doctor can tell him personally that 130 is an okay weight for you.
More voices: I'm taller than PinkyPie at 5'7", currently weigh less at 132.5, and am no where near skeletal. It's really hard to guess what some else weighs or should weigh. But it's certainly clear the range is very wide.
well, I think that's really what I meant in my reply - we are all different. different sizes, shapes, backgrounds - it's impossible to say what number on the scale is too thin or not thin enough or chubby or whatever. Impossible! I know what I look like at 148 and it was NOT a pretty sight. That's why we all have to stick to our guns and listen to our DOCTORS if we have any doubt about "too thin" or not.
Other people see us differently, they always will and yes, if we were pretty big before, people are going to see "thin" when we don't see it yet!
so I hope I didn't offend anyone as that was not my purpose!
Son thinks I am "too thin"
It's really hard to guess what some else weighs or should weigh. But it's certainly clear the range is very wide.
Just keep assureing him and if he still worries, have your doctor or his nurse call him and talk to him about it. Congrats on your outstanding dedication to health.
