Dagmar - Have you talked to DH about this? Does he know you are feeling this way? Like Jay said, maybe couples counseling might be worthwhile.
Jay, have fun on your vacation!
Megan, can you tactfully tell the researcher that something is not your job? Like when she asks you to do something, say, "That's not part of my job but I will talk to XXX about it since s/he is the one responsible for doing that." Good luck with the healthy eating! 5 lbs for Thanksgiving, I know you can do it!
I went for a walk last night instead of my planned run. I think my knees need a little bit of a break. When the weather turns cold they always start aching, and all the pavement-pounding sprint intervals probably don't help. Still planning to run Friday, and a bike ride this weekend to make up for yesterday's missed run.
Dagmar, accept what you cannot change. We just cannot make people do what we know is best for them. I know this is tough to accept. Have you considered that you may be enabling him to continue his destructive behaviour ? It is tough to let go but sometimes that is the only way.
Dagmar - I was thinking just what Bargoo said, but she beat me to it. There is a big space between knowing the right things to do and consistently making the choice to do the right things. At this point, I still fight with myself every day to make myself exercise and turn down the brownies, but I get it done. Most days. I can make these choices for myself every day, but I can't make these choices for the other people around me. Until that last thing clicks, your DH might not be able to make those changes. With some people, it is a catastrophic health event that pushes them to consistently do better. With others they never make the changes. I know it is frustrating when you see him start paying more attention to his diet and exercise, then some emotional upheaval knocks him back off track with another round of "I can't do this anymore because of [insert reason here]". You said you were going to have to plan another weekend of babying activities. Why? Do what you need to do for you, involve him if it works, but don't cater to him the entire weekend. Like Bargoo said, being the center of attention for days after incidents could be enabling some of the behavior. Good luck.
Jessica - hope your knees are better today!
Megan - glad you got to sing again last night! Don't let the professor make you crazy. Sending her to the person who really does what she is asking for is a great idea, but I know that might be almost as stressful as just doing whatever she is asking for.
Michele - I used to love book fairs...
Pat - I would have been losing my mind by 11 with no food... urgh. Good trip this weekend!
I have had a crazy week myself. Back and forth to the courthouse for work, dentist appointment yesterday. Hate the dentist. This was a new one recommended by a coworker and I liked them - massage chairs during cleaning, scented candles burning, a flavia machine in the waiting room, and a complimentary paraffin treatment for your hands while they are doing your cleaning. Very girly. Felt a little pampered, which helped with the annoyance later about my sore mouth.
DH and I attended DS's back to school night last night and met 5 of his 6 teachers. This morning I asked DS some questions:
~what is your favorite class? Latin (the one we missed as the teacher has cancer and is having chemo and is quite tired from it all).
~why? The teacher is really neat and we have a lot of fun in the class.
Kind of makes me cry--I think this is her 2nd bout with the cancer and for her to stay teaching during such a crisis--and keep her wits about her and make it fun says a lot about her. I wish I could have met her. I don't know when we'll get another chance--perhaps after grades come out.
All his teachers seem really nice and interesting and DS says he likes all his classes and teachers. I'm so glad he likes school!!
Shannon~flavia machine?
Dagmar~you've got to stop beating yourself up for your DH's tirades. I don't think anything can help him except himself. Is he seeing a therapist?
Shannon, aren't the paraffin treatments nice? The dental office I was at before I moved did that, and it was quite relaxing. What the heck is a flavia machine? Massage chairs sound good, too. Now, if they could just hypnotize or safely anesthetize during fillings, root canals, crowns. . .
Dagmar, Counseling, IMHO, is almost always helpful. Just detaching and making yourself responsible only for yourself is difficult, but it's something that Alanon teaches, and I think people with eating issues (like myself) are just like alcoholics. I still "solve" my problems with food. The extra weight is gone, but the food issues are still there.
Megan, good for you for having a plan!
Allison, that's so sad about the teacher, but pretty cool that Latin is his favorite subject and she's his favorite teacher. I hope that she wins her battle with the cancer dragon. It's so much easier when kids like school, isn't it?
I made my goal of two days at the gym. Now I have to work up to 3 days. Too much going on these days, and I realize I'm not making myself a priority, something I did when I was losing weight. Consequently, the pants are tighter and the muscles flabbier. I do love my volunteer work, however, so it's tough. I'm trying to get a reading dogs program going at the place where I volunteer with kids. And we're ripping our kitchen apart this weekend, although I'm taking some time out to go see Menopause the Musical. Anyone seen it?
Sheila, LOL, I've never heard of Menopause the Musical!
I have to brag today . . . Today while doing my NRLW workout, I increased the weight on ALL the exercises! That was me with the 25# dumbell doing my bulgarian split squats, oh yeah. I have a feeling that tomorrow I'm going to regret it, but it sure felt good at the time! Slowly but surely I will make progress toward my goal of being able to do a single full push-up. Some day!
First day of sampling done, plenty of time to get to the gym and get a good dinner. My new iPod is finally up and running, too! Hurrah!
Jessica, way to increase your weights!!! Great job! I already did tell her it's not my job, she didn't respond well. My counterpart is talking with our supervisor about it this week and we'll see what he says. But thanks for the support.
Sheila, sometimes we can't make ourselves top priority, and sometimes we shouldn't. But when we can, we also need to realize that taking care of ourselves helps us take care of everyone else better, too.
Allison, how nice that DS is doing so well and enjoying his classes. His Latin teacher must really love teaching, how wonderful and sad.
Shannon, that sounds like a great dentist! I've never been to such a nice office!
Jay, have a nice vacation!
Dagmar, I think you've been given some good advice already, so I'll just give you a hug. We can't change someone who doesn't want to change, it's just not our responsibility.
Alllison & Sheila - Flavia is a single serve coffee system with multiple flavors of coffee, tea, cocoas, various sweetener packets, etc. The office had lots of coffee and tea flavors and some of the cappuccino add-on packs that topped it with a steamy milk like topping.
Jessica - I have a terrible time with the Bulgarian Split Squats. How do you keep from falling over?
Last edited by Shannon in ATL; 10-08-2009 at 03:21 PM.
Hi guys! I'm sure enjoying being in a hotel, and away from the politics of work. Today is a rest day from exercise, and tomorrow I plan to for cardio.
Dagmar - I'll just add my as well, as others have already provided the advice I would.
Shannon - I always have to do BSS on the bench of a cable machine so I can grab the upright bar if necessary. I think I should suggest the paraffin treatment to my dentist....
Jessica - great job on higher weights. It does feel good, doesn't it?
Weather is lousy here with a big storm supposed to come through tonight. It was very windy when I drove down yesterday. It rained most of the day, though it had stopped when we went out to dinner, but was still very wet. I haven't talked to DH to see what's happening at home. (I'm about 80 miles and a mountain range south of home, so the weather can be quite different.
Megan, I hope your supervisor can sort things out.
Shannon, I hold a dumbbell on my chest with both hands, stand a bit of a ways in front of the bench, then put the top of my back foot up on the bench (carefully, I usually wobble a little). Then I face forward and just go up and down without really moving either foot at all. I find that it's easier to keep both feet in place than to let my back foot slide forward and backward. Also I don't stand too far in front of the bench.
Pat, we've been having crappy weather too, but probably nowhere near as bad as yours. Just a lot of rain and wind.
Last edited by paperclippy; 10-09-2009 at 08:52 AM.
I never thought I'd say this, but I'm having Facebook withdrawal. It's going to be a long day at work if I can't sign on. Don't know what the problem is.
Sorry guys, but we're having some wonderful weather here. Sunny and highs in the 80's. This is what paradise is. But we sure had to suffer through some horrendous heat to get here, so don't pout too much!
I'm a tad bit miffed at DD. She once again wrote a check and sent it the day before she transferred money from her savings account. She did this when I was in Italy and she promised she'd never to do it again (after I explained that the $10 overdraft fee was MY MONEY and she needed to watch it more carefully). UGH. I'm about ready to take control of all her (my) money and make her have to call me each and every time she wants to spend some.
Jessica - Holding the dumbell in front of your chest? One DB with two hands? I've been doing one per hand held down at my sides, but one in the center might balance better. Hm. I can't move my foot back and forth either, or things get ugly.
Allison - Ouch on DDs overdraft! I had a savings & checking account in college and had to call my parents if I needed money to mail me a check that I then had to deposit, or move my own money from savings. That way I got hit with the overdrafts on my own account. Don't know if you would want to go that route, but it taught me pretty fast not to bounce checks and to make sure the money was there...
Pat - sorry the weather is so bad, but I always say bad weather is much better when you are looking at it through the window at a conference than when you are looking at it through the window at work!
It is noon and I have already eaten my breakfast cereal, my banana and my baggie of dry cereal I brought for one of my afternoon snacks. And, still an hour away from lunch. Might be time for some tea...
Good run at the park yesterday, sore today so woke up for exercise but chose not to do it. Any excuse at 6:30 am!
Shannon - Yeah, I use one dumbbell that I hold with both hands. The lighter weights I was holding horizontally so that each hand was holding one of the weighted sides of the dumbell, but with the 25# one I hold it vertically with both hands holding up the top. I can imagine that it might be harder to balance with a pair of dumbbells -- I have trouble just doing lunges ( I typed "lunches" first!) with dumbbells.
Have you talked to DH about this? Does he know you are feeling this way? Like Jay said, maybe couples counseling might be worthwhile.
I already did tell her it's not my job, she didn't respond well. My counterpart is talking with our supervisor about it this week and we'll see what he says. But thanks for the support. 
for cardio. 
I think I should suggest the paraffin treatment to my dentist....
I typed "lunches" first!) with dumbbells.
