Ha. I was just thinking about this. I was wondering how I would feel if no one said ANYthing. That wouldn't be too good either, I suppose . In fact there is this one acquaintance, a friend of a friend, who I've seen many times since, who has never ever said a word to me about my weight loss. Never. She is literally the only one that I can think of. See how she "sticks out in my mind"?
Actually I haven't heard comments on my weight in a long time. I moved states after losing, so none of my coworkers or friends here ever knew me at anything other than my maintenance weight. I was already in maintenance when I flew out for my interview, even. The only people in Indy who knew me at my high weight were DH's family.
You know what bugs me though? Since I've lost weight, DH's family members suddenly seem to think it's okay to make negative comments about fat people around me.
I'm torn on this. I've lost 33 lbs and I feel like no one has noticed. :-( I have went from 231 to 198 since August & the only people who say things are my husband & co-workers. What is wrong with you people? Can I get a little encouragment please?! I think the compliments would help me to stay motivated and I'd love to hear just one for the love of God!!!! But I can also see how they can grow to become annoying... it's a lose/lose situation I guess
You know what bugs me though? Since I've lost weight, DH's family members suddenly seem to think it's okay to make negative comments about fat people around me.
Oh, I get this all the time too and it drives me CRAZY. Maybe I'm a tad sensitive (I don't think so), but I don't want to hear any negative comments about overweight people. If anything, I'm more sensitive now about that then I was before.
Extasee, hang tight - the compliments are just around the corner. It took about 50 lbs off for people to start commenting to me. And then - whoa - did they EVER start commenting. In the early stages I had people tell me that I looked "real good", they just weren't sure why. People are reluctant to comment on people's weight.
I have these two friends of mine who say, "WHOA! You lost EVEN MORE weight!" every time they see me. In reality, I have been the same weight since the start of the year. I'm not sure if they are just trying to flatter me or if their mental images of me change a bit each time.
I LOVED the compliments when the weight first came off and still appreciate them now, though I feel like my weight loss is sort of old news. Most people who I run into from my overweight past don't even recognize me. Some of them proceed to tell me that I look "different" but they are not sure how (or else they just don't want to be rude/politically incorrect and say "HEY where'd all your blubber go?!") I ran into one silly guy who said, "Wow! Your boobs look bigger... and uh... don't take this the wrong way, but I didn't remember you being this HOT."
I could have taken that the wrong way and thought, "What, was I ugly before?!" but instead I decided to just appreciate it and be proud of my accomplishments. I think people usually mean well with the compliments anyway and honestly, I DIDN'T look my best while overweight.
Extasee - Be patient; people WILL start noticing.
Sometimes it takes quite a bit of a transformation before they realize you're shrinking, but the time will come when they do. It's pretty much inevitable
People are funny. I have been maintaining in a 4 pound range since about the end of August. People I see all the time are saying "You need to stop losing weight. Have you lost more? You're too skinny."
In what world is 155 too skinny? Plus I haven't lost more since the last time they saw me. I can probably credit weight training for making me smaller, but I am no light weight.
I got a funny comment the other day from one of the docs I work with. He said, "Have you lost an ungodly amount of weight?" Now, this man has seen me weekly for the last 2+ years. Did he just notice? Did he just now feel comfortable asking? How would he define "ungodly"? He has a quirky sense of humor, I like him in general, and I've certainly been known to stick my foot in my mouth around him, so I took it in a positive spirit and said, "Yes." Of course the next question is always "How?" and that's when I say "Oh, eating pretty healthy most of the time and exercising."
It's so funny how people can feel comfortable asking personal questions of someone who has lost weight. I think they mean it well for the most part, and some might even be looking for encouragement or a way to meet their own goals, but it's like all social rules go flying out the window. No one would ever otherwise ask a woman "How much do you weigh?" but it seems to be okay to ask "How much weight have you lost?"
Like many others, my reaction depends on who is asking and my mood. Lately I just give my little canned answer and try not to analyze it too much.
I'm torn on this. I've lost 33 lbs and I feel like no one has noticed. :-( I have went from 231 to 198 since August & the only people who say things are my husband & co-workers. What is wrong with you people? Can I get a little encouragment please?! I think the compliments would help me to stay motivated and I'd love to hear just one for the love of God!!!! But I can also see how they can grow to become annoying... it's a lose/lose situation I guess
Have you bought new clothes yet? I didnt start getting any comments (for the most part) until I bought clothes closer to my new size (about 30 lbs down). Baggy clothes hide a lot - in both directions.
I kinda feel the same way about the compliments, at first I loved them! I usually still do love them! But I kept running into people after a year of being at goal weight who hadn't seen me yet, so I had to go over the whole thing - I look great, how I did it, do I feel great, yada yadda. I got a little tired of the story (sometimes), it was old hat to me, I just wanted to BE! But really it depends on the person, the comment, my mood.
Overall, I would say 90% of the time I find every compliment just as thrilling as the first one.
I will always treasure one coworker who remarked on my new brown linen capri pants and crisp white short sleeved button down that I looked like Audrey Hepburn. I'm sure I did not but I will never forget that comment!
Like Robin, I had one person in my life that NEVER once mentioned it and we worked together everyday! It was...odd. Heh
Few people noticed my loss at a regular two pound per week clip, until the first warm day of Spring when I shed my baggy sweaters and wore new clothes in my current size. Everybody noticed that day - as if it had happened overnight.
I did get those "You've gone far enough" comments from one relative. Perhaps because there was a slightly gaunt look initially that seemed to go away as my face returned to it's naturally roundish features. Don't know why that happened.
I started at size 20 and now am in 18, although I could prob squeeze into some 16's I don't, I hate TIGHT clothes! Sure the 18's are a little baggy but not overly baggy. I went from a 12-20 when I was pregnant, so thankfully I have every size in between so as I am losing, for the most part I'm also going down in the size I wear as it happens. I'm starting to think that 231 lbs was simply just too large for anyone to notice a mear 33 lbs. So I can only say to those of you who get the compliments, ENJOY THEM! People are noticing all your hardwork & dedication, you should be proud! :-) You've obviously come a long way in your weight loss to get that response from people.
Extasee--I was about 190 before anyone at all noticed me--and that was after I bought some new clothes. Your compliments are coming quickly.
One other word of encouragement--I found it was difficult going from my 18 to 16 and into a 14. Once you get past the 14, the sizes drop more rapidly. There is not a huge difference between a 12, 10 and 8 for example. I am not into an 8 yet but I read about measurements the last couple of days of several sites.
I want to know how other people handle comments from people that you don't think mean well--have been a jerk to you before or seem condescending in their remarks.
Last edited by Thighs Be Gone; 11-06-2008 at 09:26 AM.
I can't wait for the compliments. And, I'm probably opening myself up for some steep criticism here, but I'd like to think that I will look better then. I don't honestly think this fat is in any way attractive. So, if they say "You looks so nice now"....well, they'll probably be right...I hope!
GirlyGirlSebas - no criticism here; I completely agree with your thoughts To me, nothing about fat is attractive, nor has it ever been. I did not feel desirable while overweight, even though there were a few (decent looking) men who told me otherwise.
Everyone who has the dedication and perserverance to lose weight deserves plenty of compliments... AND... people feel more comfortable complimenting others when they have a reason to do so.
I havent run into many bad compliements. Most of the people that comment on my loss also know about my multiple sclerosis and they're genuinely happy for me. I really appreciate the support.
I am not at all happy with one comment a nosy old lady who thinks she knows everything made about my younger brother though - who is morbidly obese like my parents. She told me that "he needs to catch whatever I caught" after I stated the reason I changed my life was my first multiple sclerosis remission. That was a low blow. But it wasnt about me -- it was about her own ignorance.
I did clarify back to her when she said that "oh so you mean my brother should get multiple sclerosis?" Shut her up long enough for me to walk away.
I'm with Layla - I can't wait for the compliments!
But I'd assume they would get annoying after a while.
I just think once I start getting them, it'll all seem real. Right now I don't notice much change in myself. My close friends and family say they do, but I sometimes think in the back of my head, they are just saying that to be nice and supportive. Ahhh I don't know.
I can see the changes from the pics you posted I'm sure they do see it too:P
. In fact there is this one acquaintance, a friend of a friend, who I've seen many times since, who has never ever said a word to me about my weight loss. Never. She is literally the only one that I can think of. See how she "sticks out in my mind"?
I'm not sure if they are just trying to flatter me or if their mental images of me change a bit each time. 
Plus I haven't lost more since the last time they saw me. I can probably credit weight training for making me smaller, but I am no light weight.
At 50 pounds on first Spring day
