[Megan1982]

I've been thinking about this topic quite a bit.

Originally Posted by PhotoChick

"You never go out to lunch any more with us. You just eat salad at your desk. Don't you think you're becoming a little obsessed?"
"You never go out to happy hour with us any more. You just go to the gym every single day. Don't you think you're becoming a little obsessed?"
"Don't you think that ordering a salad every time we go out is a little obsessive? Why don't you live a little?"

This really resonates with me. Those comments have all been made to me by friends at some point, with the implication or explicit statement that my so-called obsession with healthy eating & exercise is getting in the way of my everyday life. They don't seem to understand that BEING MORBIDLY OBESE and/or having a higher risk of the various cancers and heart diseases that run in my family also GETS IN THE WAY OF MY EVERYDAY LIFE.

I've called working out a hobby of mine before. I've known several cross country runners (who've never had weight issues, just always liked to run) who call running their hobby. Why is this any different? I've gone through phases where I could be called a runner, a weight lifter, an ellipticizer if there is such a thing, depending on the physical activity I'm most focused on at the time. Most of the time I LIKE working out! Really! I've long called cooking a hobby of mine - it just happens that now, 80% of what I cook is healthy (and not all of the 20% is intended for my consumption - co-workers bday cakes etc.). I don't think there's anything wrong with having a "hobby" that happens to be good for me!

[Shannon in ATL]

I just got back from spending a week with my parents, my brother and his wife and my husband all in one condo. This very topic was in my head a lot during this week as my mom commented several times that I was too thin and initiated several conversations about my being 'obsessed with diet and exercise'. And never mind the little snide comments I didn't address or the side looks...

I don't consider myself obsessed with calorie counting and weight loss most of the time, but admit I have some habits other people might see that way. Like Josephine, I still weigh and log everything, including the ingredients I put into my morning smoothie. DH sometimes sees that as unnecessary at this point, I keep telling him that I'm not comfortable enough with estimating this early in the maintenance game. Hopefully I'll get there. This week was a test for that - I didn't take my scale on my trip, I just eyeballed things. I also ate between 2000-2400 calories three of the days we were there - the first three days, actually. Later in the week I felt grungy from the garbage I'd eaten the first three days so I cut back to around 1700 for the rest of the time, and made healthier choices.

I exercise pretty much every day - I did miss two days last week, one because it was the day we were traveling back home and we came straight in to my stepson overnight, so no time. The other was because I let my mom influence me - DH says to me "your mom is really worried about you overexercising, it would really make her feel better to see you take a day off while we are down here", so I took a day off. And felt miserable. I was angry with her for being so critical of my exercise all week, I was angry at DH for suggesting it, I was angry at myself for doing it. Really, I made the bad choice, so all the anger should have been directed straight back onto me. And, that was the day that I felt like poop all day and ended up staying home from dinner. I really enjoy working out and the way it makes me feel. I'm pretty sure I'll miss my goal for October, because I've taken more off days than normal and had a couple of shorter workouts, so to make it I would have to do 70ish minutes every day for the rest of the month. If I were as obsessed as my mom said I am I would be scheming for a way to make that happen. Reality is, ten days of 70 minutes per day would burn me out. I know better. Do I exercise now when I might have been reading or watching tv in the past? Absolutely. Like Meghan said, it is a hobby for me now, just different from my old ones.

I just had to do my medical history and family history for two new doctors - my family history is pages long. I look at all the things that my mother, grandmothers, aunts, cousins suffer from and I make a choice right now to not have to put those items on my 'current medical conditions' section in five years if I can possibly help it. My mom is 5'3", or was, has probably lost some height down to 5'1". She weighs somewhere in the 85-90 pound range. She never eats, what she does makes her sick most of the time. I'm not going to be that person. She got there through anorexic behavior over the years and who knows what else, she won't talk about it. I'm getting smaller through a better diet than I've had in years and exercise. Again, not obsession, but choice.

I thought about motivation this week, too. This was my second vacation being smaller than my SIL. I liked it, and am vain enough to admit that it provided some external motivation. I looked at my mom and what I saw scared me - more external motivation. Internal motivation - the way I felt on Thursday when I didn't do any exercise on top of grungy food. The way I look in the clothes I bought. The way I was able to make the 9 flights of stairs up and down to our room 25 times when we were down there without getting short of breath and stopping halfway. (The elevator needed a key card, and would shut you in sometimes if it couldn't read your card - wasn't taking the stairs for exercise, was creeped out about being trapped in an elevator... )

Okay, I've rambled awhile. Might not have made any sense, but there are my thoughts on it. I'm confident that I'm taking care of myself, I'm not depriving myself of anything, I splurge on occasion, I rest when I need to, if other people need to see that as obsessed then so be it.

[WebRover]

Originally Posted by Tyler Durden

I{t} helps my frame of mind I guess. I feel more accountable. It becomes total habit. And it takes all of a second to do, so totally worth it for me!

Weighing lettuce, if that's all you see, could seem obsessive to someone. But when you think of it as a whole practice, "I weigh what I eat" it's different. Because if "I weight what I eat", where would I draw the line for exceptions? Today it would be lettuce, tomorrow any vegetable, next I'd be eyeballing EVOO. Not weighing lettuce could be the beginning of the slippery slope.

Originally Posted by KLK

Alas, I am not yet a maintainer...

But you are. You've lost 70-80 pounds (I didn't do the math) and kept it off for 4 years. You may not be at your goal yet, but you are a wildly successful maintainer. And when you gained 10 pounds, you didn't throw yourself down the stairs and regain all the rest of it. You got back on track and relost it. (All that's based on your signature info.)

Originally Posted by KLK

Although I think that most people who are actively committed to weight loss. . . I think a lack of true dedication and commitment is a lot more common...

I think this was the first of several references to commitment. I think that's one of the words that deserves a definition. Oddly enough, the definition I got from synonym.com is exactly the same as Susan's definition of dedication.

Commitment: the act of binding yourself (intellectually or emotionally) to a course of action
The primary definition is: the trait of sincere and steadfast fixity of purpose.
Sincerety is never the issue. I think we're always sincere - about starting anyway. I like the word steadfast here.

Steadfast: marked by firm determination or resolution; not shakable

I also like determination. Can't use the same source for a definition as it uses the word itself to define it. So from Dictionary.com
Determination: the quality of being resolute; firmness of purpose; a fixed purpose or intention; fixed direction or tendency toward some object or end.

To me commitment and steadfast also carry the idea of continuing, ongoing action. This is important because it's not a one time decision. It's setting a direction and regularly making decisions that support that direction.

So when all around you believe you are obsessed, you know you're dedicated, commited, determined and steadfast to meet and keep your goal.