My big news for today is that I weighed in at 135.8! The last record I have of being this weight is 11/2/07. Of course, after my shower I hopped back on the scale and it said 136.8 (how could I possibly gain a pound in the shower?), but I'll just ignore that. I am so happy to see a 135 on the scale again! 135 is my red line, so in just 0.8 lbs I'll be back to redline weight! Woohoo!
Yesterday was mostly on plan, until I munched on cereal and bread after dinner. The annoying part is that I wouldn't have eaten it if I hadn't seen DH eating it!
Today's plan:
B - morning crunch cereal, milk, tangerine juice
S - pineapple
L - lf cottage cheese with strawberries
S - cherries, yogurt
D - salad, maybe with some beans
Well, I was gone from the thread and the chat all last week because I am in a bad bad place maintenance-wise. I stopped lurking and joined this board back in late April because I knew I was approaching the point where, in the past, I "cracked" and gained my weight back and I was determined not to do that this time. And yet ...
I got on the scale and got out the tape measure for the first time in several weeks and was just blown away. Since early May, I have apparently gained 8 pounds and about an inch on all the major measurements. That's about 1/3 to 1/2 of the progress I made from mid-January through early May. I am quasi-devastated.
I am trying really hard to be positive about this. To recognize that I am catching this now, and I can still hit my goal weight by the end of the summer, which is a heck of a lot better than, say, never. But I've been struggling so much - not even with over-eating, but with mindless horrible carb binging. (And I can't even get my ticker to come back - it's just this stupid little x box in my signature no matter how many times I try to reset it ).
I am not one to share such personal information usually, but you are all such amazing people and so inspiring. I am really trying to focus on the positives. I still way 11 pounds less than I did in January. Almost all the new clothes I bought in late April still fit (except my skinny jeans). I didn't lose my fitness level, so I can still work out and run like I was last month. And some of this weight is a combo of water weight, sodium retention, and TOM. (This last one is sort of irrelevant - I don't think I can blame the entire 8 pounds on that, particularly when coupled with the gains in measurements).
Anyway, sorry for the long post. I just needed to get this out here and say to others what I keep saying inside my head: I will not gain this weight back. Instead, I will take it back off, along with the additional 5 pounds or so I wanted for my maintenance goal. I will continue to eat the healthy delicious foods I love and I will stop binging on sugar and carbs. I will use this board when I feel weak instead of hiding from it. And I will have no excuses!
Thanks all, for letting me rant. Have a great Friday.
Debbie - you've already said to YOURSELF everything we're going to say to you...at least you caught it now, get right back on track and work the tools you have. Welcome back to our little corner.
Today:
B - Alternative bagel, laughing cow, turkey
S - Turkey wrap w/ FF sour cream based dressing on low carb tortilla
L - Leftovers - Marinated, panko-breaded crispy chicken, summer squash casserole with tomatoes, lite mozzarella, parmesan, garlic, and basil, and a side salad.
S - Popcorn
S - Greek yogurt w/ blackberries
D - Whole wheat penne w/ tomato sauce, roasted zucchini, eggplant, bell pepper, and red onion, and chunks of chicken breast
S - NSA Vanilla Ice Cream, grilled peach
Ambitious after how yesterday went, but...
E - 60 min strength, 55 min elliptical
Oh Deb, I can so relate to how you're feeling! While I haven't gained 8 lbs back, I've not lost any in over a month, and I have a lot more than 5 or even 15 lbs to get back to my goal.
I've been thinking about it all week, and I realize I've been crazy busy at work, and going to tons of meetings. I've not been eating my snacks many days, and when I do, there's not always protein in them. I know that eating protein - even a little - at every meal keeps me out of the carbs. And that little carb is always ready to come out to tempt me when I get harried and rushed. Grrrr. So, once again, I'm taking myself in hand. Like you I will not gain back any of the pounds I've worked so hard to lose! I WILL TAKE THE TIME TO PLAN MY MEALS AND EAT WHAT I'VE PLANNED!
B - oatmeal w/walnuts, raisins, 1% milk, 1/2 ww eng muffin with whipped cream cheese
L - shrimp salad
D - grilled chicken, zucchini, potato, salad
Ss - ff latte, yogurt, turkey
Debbie, like's already been said - you've caught it. You're aware of it. You're putting a screeching halt to any more weight gain. And that is the key. Right back on track for you, ya hear? We can do this. We can all get through this together. Right? Yup. Cause the alternative is simply NOT an option.
Jessica, nice going on the scale news. Shower lb and all.
I've now got a good stretch going. 4 complete POP days. Today, #5, is going well. But and it's a biggie - I've got a heckuva weekend ahead of me. 2 engagement parties and one wedding. In ONE weekend. Grrr.
Well, I usually plan a little splurge at these type things since I've been in maintenance, but the pants o meter is telling me - uh uh. They're just beginning to look good on me again after last weeks fiasco. Besides, 3 events is just too many to plan a splurge for.
My plan therefore is to stay on plan. NO SPLURGES WHATSOEVER. I am an all or nothing gal and that always seems to be my best strategy. I've done it in the past. Honestly, I'm not all that confident that I can do it. Gosh, that sounds awful. But nevertheless, that's how I feel. We shall see.
I agree Robin. 3 events to splurge on would send me over the top!
WaterRat-- you do seem to have tons of meetings. They are hard to control.... maybe bringing your own food to them when possible?
Jessica-- that is exciting! Keep it up!
Deb-- sorry you are frustrated. I understand your frustration. You seem to have things in perspective.
I *think* I am done with my excuses (for now). Dd graduated and we've had all the meals/parties surrounding that. I leave for Houston in 9 days and I really want to have a pound or two more off before I go (and do a million more sit ups to wear my newly bought bikinis). So.... no time for excuses!! I'm off to the gym!
My day started off good and then I veered off my chosen path.
I'll spare you the food porn. The overall calories are not so horrible, but I am once again reminded of how icky I feel when I eat sugar and fat and simple carbs.
How many times do I have to feel this way before I get it?
And then when I went to the gym, all I wanted to do was walk out. I was tired and lazy and cranky and I wanted to walk out and just stop. Be done with this whole exercise thing.
Which is crazy.
I pushed myself the best I could and I was so irritated with myself. Why is today different? Why is today so off?
And I thought about my day. I spent my day providing gyn care to teenagers and I saw girls and their boys who are going through all the crap life dishes out. Rape, abuse, STDs, poverty, cutting, drugs.
And I let myself get very angry and pissed off about it all. And worked out really hard. And now I feel better.
I spend a lot of time being a shoulder to cry on. And I need to honor my own feelings about that more often.
This is kind of a breakthrough for me to think about how I have internalized stress and how eating was a coping mechanism for a long time.
Anyway, I'm glad to see all of you getting your groove back on!
I also had a rude awakening today. High sugar things, even in small amounts will send me right into a binge. I planned an outing with co-workers and decided to go for one pomegranate margarita. I didn't realize that meant pomegranate syrup (there's another bar that makes passion fruit margaritas with actual fruit). Well that one shot of syrup pushed me into a mini-binge tonight that shocked me and go my attention. I guess it's useful to prove to myself once and for all just how dangerous that stuff is for me. My body can't handle any HFC type products, end of discussion.
Tomorrow's plan:
B - one egg with squash, almond cheese & salsa
L - homemade hummus with crunchy veggies
D - broccoli & seitan stir fry; napa cabbage slaw
S - ff cottage cheese w/tomatoes; soy crisps
..........And I thought about my day. I spent my day providing gyn care to teenagers and I saw girls and their boys who are going through all the crap life dishes out. Rape, abuse, STDs, poverty, cutting, drugs.
And I let myself get very angry and pissed off about it all. And worked out really hard. And now I feel better.
I spend a lot of time being a shoulder to cry on. And I need to honor my own feelings about that more often.
..............
HUGS MIDWIFE...I get these kinds of "stories" from time to time from my own kiddo...it just "kills" her testing the boys from the NAVY SEALS and SERE's programs after they have been Through "****"...(seeing their enthusiasm beforehand...knowing how they will come back) just...kills her....these boys...many younger than her...she is 24....I cannot even try to understand...but THANK-YOU! for all you people do to make this a better world!....
Hugs to you midwife. Your days sound so stressful.
I'm glad you were able to push yourself at the gym. It is such a stress reliever. I am going through something very stressful right now and I plugged into my IPOD at the gym and worked out very hard. I was almost done with my workout before the thought crossed my mind that I hadn't thought about my stressful problem. I was glad to put it out of my mind and I felt much better after.
My dh is dealing with the wonderful stress right now of almost constant business travel. He is trying to get back late tonight from TX only to leave tomorrow to Norway. His flight got diverted and he has missed his connection and there may not be another flight tonight. Grrrrr..... I hope he makes it back.
Hi everybody - thanks to all for the kind words of encouragement. It means so much to have a place to come and spill all those frustrations (and fears, for that matter) to people who understand. I am happy to report that, except for an unplanned gin and tonic at dinner last night, I've been on plan for 3 days with food and exercise, and I feel good so far today. I may be getting a streak going here!
Paperclippy - congratulations on the wonderful number on the scale. That's fantastic!
WaterRat - you have a great attitude and a great plan - I know those will both work out for you.
Robin - I hope the weekend of non-stop events are going ok for you and you're feeling strong. You have a great run of POP days going for you - keep up the wonderful work.
Michele - congrats on your DD's graduation, and good luck on the loss before vacation (and on coping with your stress and your husband's travel).
Midwife - EZMoney said it best. I think it's wonderful that you do what you do, but can certainly understand how stressful it must be some days. I think it's great you've had a breakthru about how sugary food doesn't help, but working out can.
Ugh, this weekend was totally not planned, except for the Sushi Friday night...I didn't plan for the 2 1/2 glasses of wine and the chips to soak up said wine! Argh!
Back to work! I went to the Farmer's Market Saturday and loved it, although it was smaller than the one in Birmingham. I didn't have a ton of cash on me, but I got a few good buys, including a HUGE thing of blueberries for $4 and an eggplant(can't wait to see what Boy has to say about it tonight!).
B- Coffee, Fiber one w/ff milk and blueberries
S-Cottage cheese
L- Orzo w/roasted veggies(also a FM buy....good, but I'd prefer more veggies in it. Going to try and make it myself sometime), mixed fruit
S-Banana
D- Salmon, and then this veggie side I found in Shape this month...eggplant, squash, zucchini layered in a dish w/some olive oil and basil. Covered w/ 3/4 cup of pasta sauce. I'm hoping Boy will like it since it has pasta sauce on it. I'll even sprinkle a ton of cheese on his piece
Exercise....I'm going to start running. I need to up my cardio! I've always wanted to do the Couch to 5k, but hated the podcast that was out there b/c it was techno music. Last night, however, I found one on iTunes set to recent rap music(as in, this woman just started C25K in May and is on week 3) that I am going to try! Aiming to do the first session tonight before yoga.
My weekend actually wasn't TOO off plan for once. In fact, other than the desserts and a little beer and wine, my meals were essentially the same as during the week. At the farmer's market we found sour cherries and gooseberries, so Saturday night I pulled out my "small batch baking" cookbook and made two individual-sized cherry pies. Sunday I made a sour cream gooseberry pie which I brought over to the in-laws' house to share, and I only took one slice so I felt pretty good about it. Nobody guessed that it had low-fat sour cream in it, but on the other hand each of the two crusts had a stick of butter. It was a big hit in any case. Plus Sunday morning I went for a bike ride, so I got some exercise in there.
Scale is bouncing around from water weight, as usual for a Monday.
Today's plan:
B - mixture of healthy cereals, milk, OJ
S - banana
L - wrap with turkey, lettuce, lf cheese
S - plum, apricot, lf yogurt
D - mexican-style chicken and some sort of cooked greens, plus lf cornbread
No Excuses! Friday to Friday 6/20 - 6/26
135 is my red line, so in just 0.8 lbs I'll be back to redline weight! Woohoo!
).
is always ready to come out to tempt me when I get harried and rushed. Grrrr. So, once again, I'm taking myself in hand. Like you I will not gain back any of the pounds I've worked so hard to lose! I WILL TAKE THE TIME TO PLAN MY MEALS AND EAT WHAT I'VE PLANNED! 
It was a big hit in any case. Plus Sunday morning I went for a bike ride, so I got some exercise in there.
