Is That All There Is? Then Let's Keep Dancing.... - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

Living Maintenance general maintenance topics and discussions

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Old 06-18-2008, 11:43 AM   #1  
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Default Is That All There Is? Then Let's Keep Dancing....

Feeling philosophical this morning, and wondering- "Is that all there is?" We all know that maintaining is a tough and challanging exercise, but- what are we mainaining, exactly? I see a lot of dedicated gals here at 3FC who, once they reach their weight goals, are motivated to achieve new finess goals. Is there a point for any of you ladies where you have said to yourselves "Yep, I'm happy RIGHT HERE", or is it a constant fine tuning of new, Mini-Goals to keep yourselves motivated? Can you find the deterination to keep the weight off without the constant re-enforcement of small NSVs? I'm wondering if I'll ever be 100% happy with my goals- I'm healthy and reasonably fit, but I'll never be flattered by a two piece bathing suit. Would I be happier after a tummy tuck, or would I then be obsessed with my less than perfect arms? How does one find the confidence to say "Yep, that's all there is- aren't I fabulous? I think I'll be very happy to stay right here"? When are goals positive guidelines for health, and when do they become obsessive and a symtom of the "I'm NEVER good enough" syndrome? And -Just Keep Dancing, everyone!!!
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Old 06-18-2008, 12:57 PM   #2  
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Well, I guess it's all perspective.

For the first time in my life, I really, truly DO like myself now. I'm happy with most parts of my body. I'm happy with most parts, even, of my mind! But I can alway strive to be fitter.

In my opinion, continually wanting to improve yourself isn't as much a sign of feeling like you're constantly not good enough as it is a sign that you value yourself so much that you want to make yourself better. And not being at those goals doesn't make me upset...just means I have something to aim toward to make myself even more fabulous than I already am!
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Old 06-18-2008, 01:33 PM   #3  
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I agree with Amanda. When I think about and set new goals, it is not because I do not feel 'good' enough or happy here or whatever. It is because I am so enamored of my body that I want to keep pushing and trying new things. I spent most of my life focusing on intellectual pursuits and being a granola-attachment mommy, that this is really the first time I have viewed my body in a new way. My deltoids crack me up. The fact that I can leg press with some weights actually on the machine rather than just the sled is a marvel to me.

There are so many things to try and explore that I will be entertained with them for years and years to come. When I can do one pull up, I will want to do 2. When I run a half marathon, it makes me want to run a full. Belly dancing? Sounds like fun!

I think that this weight maintenace/health thing is a process---not a destination. Just my opinion, though!
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Old 06-18-2008, 02:12 PM   #4  
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YES! I love the idea that even "maintenance" should be a learning journey. That "where I am is good, but where I'm going will be even better!" I love the idea of the journey as a spiral- even if you revisit the same places on occasion, you always are looking at the situation from a different loop of the sipral- i.e. a new perspective due to experience and growth.
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Old 06-18-2008, 02:28 PM   #5  
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In some parts of my overall persona, I've definitely reached the point where I'm not interested in improving. For example, at my last job, I was constantly dinged on my performance reviews for aspects of my personality that I didn't feel like changing. I could see where I might be a better person if I did change them, but in the end, I'm at the point where I'm not interested in being that much better of a person. So I got a new job where they don't care about those things. It was one thing to get performance reviews with all these constructive criticisms when I was in my early 20's. But now, I'm going on 40 and I feel like I have a lot to offer any organization just the way that I am. So what you see is what you get and if you don't like it, well, we should just amiably part ways because I'm not getting any better.

In terms of exercise, I am always pushing myself to improve. Partly because I want to see what I can do and I have a very strong competitive streak. But also, my body continually adjusts to the exercise I do and it gets easy. I'm not going to be able to maintain if I'm not constantly pushing myself to go a little farther, faster, harder. So constantly pushing myself to do more really is about maintaining where I am.

In terms of my appearance, I'm definitely not 100% happy with how I look, but I'm at the point where if I don't get any better, I'm okay with that. I'm maintaining my weight. I'd like to lose a little more body fat and gain a little muscle, but if it doesn't happen, that's okay. I'm not interested in continuing to restrict my calories to where they need to be for me to lose and I'm not interested in making drastic changes to my diet (such as changing to a low glycemic index diet), either of which would probably help me lose more fat. So I'm not really pushing myself in terms of diet--I'm truly eating a maintenance diet. I'm trying to eat some more good fat because that would clearly have some positive impacts on my health beyond my appearance. If my appearance changes further, it's going to be the result of exercise. And if it doesn't change any further, well, that's fine.
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Old 06-18-2008, 02:44 PM   #6  
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Yes, it definitely IS perspective. Many women would cringe to have my body. I've definitely got some saggy skin (totally covered up with clothing). But me, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my body. I am thoroughly pleased with it.

Would I like to be this weight and not have the extra skin? Would I prefer to be firmer? Have more muscle? And yes, be even thinner? Yup. But you know what, it's more then good enough for me, given where I've come from.

So of course, there IS room for improvement, but like the other ladies said, it's not that I'm not good enough. I am very, VERY satisfied with where I am. It's just that I don't want to remain stagnant. I am always striving for better. Not just with my body, but with everything. I'd like my life to be more organized. I'd like my home to be cleaner. My bills to be more in order. My work to increase. I'd like to have more quality time with my DH and family. I'd like to read more books. Travel more. Etc, etc... I'm just always looking to - improve. Make a good life even better. And I think that's a good thing.
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Old 06-21-2008, 05:19 PM   #7  
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Like many others, I am mostly happy with where I am at body wise right now. Sure there is room for improvement, but part of what I think about is what can I realistically maintain as a number (not a clothing size)? I have been 5 lbs lower than I am right now when I was 24 year younger, and even then I couldn't maintain that weight. I know I'd look less flabby if I lost another 10-20 lbs but a 6' woman at 155-165 in her late 40's just doesn't sound do-able for me.
I am definitely still working on getting more toned. I worked with a personal trainer earlier this year and set up lifting routines. I've let them really go this past 2 months, so I need to get back to that lifting routine on a regular basis in the not too distant future--it's probably why I feel a bit more flabby these days.
I am always looking to change up my work out routine because I am easily bored--today I walked sledding hills outside just because I knew it would get my heart racing, and I wanted to enjoy the outdoors when it was so beautiful. I pushed myself up those hills; I added some fast walking, it was good enough.
The one thing I'd love to do is have some plastic surgery because this skin is not going to tighten up. Can I afford it? No. Is this the right time to do it? Probably not. I need to wait until I've kept this weight off for at least 5 years before I'll make that kind of investment. I'm sure I would feel better if I didn't have hanging skin, but I look great when I have my clothes on and it looks ok when I have a swimsuit on, so I'm all right. I'm always looking for fun ways to improve myself through exercise, so I don't think I'll ever maintain all aspects of my life and my weight loss/exercise plan, but who would want to be that bored anyway?! Doing the same thing day after day would get tedious. Have to keep it spiced up!
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