Other People Commenting About Our Lifestyles
 

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Well, I can tell you this, I feel as if the whole world is policing me - and I dislike it immensely.

DH and I were at a very, VERY fancy party recently. The host has been so complimentary to me throughout my journey. She has recently gained I would say about 30lbs, having always been very thin prior to this. Anyway, there's a huge buffet dessert spread there. I take a small chocolate and she's surrounded by many of her good friends, no one that I know. She literally started jumping up and down and said "Ah ha, ooohhh, I saw you. That's not protein. Where's your protein?" I felt like I wanted to die. But the truth of the matter is, she really looked like an idiot. And she was all dressed up in a beautiful gown, just made her look like more the fool. After turning all beet red, I'm sure, I said something stupid, how I WISH I would have had a response ready, "Well just for that, I think I'll take another one." I know, not very good.

People actual watch me eating. They look to see what I am eating. And I tell you, it put a lot of unwanted pressure on me. People comment on what I eat CONSTANTLY. "Oh, I don't know how you can eat like that." "Oh, I shouldn't eat this in front of you." ""You mean that's all you're going to eat." "Oh Robin doesn't eat this or that." Oh, I won't offer you any of this since you can't eat it anyway." That one I find to be the funniest and gets me in the biggest uproar so to speak. I mean come on, I CAN'T eat it. Hellloooo, I choose not to eat it. And let's just say there's one time when I DO feel like eating something - off plan. I have to go into a whole song and dance and explain it away - "I saved my calories for this all week long. I kept my calories real low and did extra exercise in order to eat this."

It's funny, because I would never in a million years comment on what someone else was eating. Never. Isn't that one of the things you just don't mention to someone else? Why am I an open target?

Obviously I'm not a maintainer yet but it is already happening. We were at a with my DH family this weekend. My DH asked if I'd tried the ribs. I said no. He gave me the 3rd degree to just try them. He didn't understand that I chose not to eat them not that I couldn't eat them but I didn't want to. I would rather have a large salad then the ribs.

The other day my friend brought a hot dog into work for me and one for herself. Keep in mind after almost 3 months of dieting I have very rarely splurged mainly eating chicken, salads, fruits, veges, etc. Well anyway, I was in the breakroom eating my hot dog and one of my "friends" commented "oh are you off your diet?" Ummmm. . . .NO! I felt like an elephant being watched at the zoo. I guess since I'm fat and trying to lose weight I should be munching on celerey sticks all the time.

I like to walk on my breaks at work too and I'm always getting "Oh you're STILL walking". Geez I guess they all think I would have quit a long time ago.

I think most people make these kind of comments because it's how they perceive themselves. I think they put themselves in our shoes and say "Well, I couldn't do that!" So when we hear these comments it should make us prouder of the choices we do make because WE ARE DOING IT!!!!!!

Here's a strategy: Move! :lol: I moved to a new community, and no one here knows what I used to weigh! In the old community I got a lot of comments, all positive, so I miss those--but on the other hand, here no one will be watching what I eat.

I like a phrase that another member once posted for dealing with people who are overly observant: "You look at your plate and I'll look at mine."

Robin, your host must have looked like such a doofus. I would have looked at her and said, "Are you crazy??" I think sometimes these people ought to be taken aside and told, "Look. I don't need you monitoring and commenting on me constantly. So knock it off while we're still friends!"

Jay

I think that what bothers me is when people tell me what I am "still doing wrong"...my boyfriend's grandmother does this quite a bit. I think that the fact that I am changing and that I want to change even more bothers people at times, especially those who have not been successful at weight loss themselves.

I bring dry Cheerios to work sometimes so that I have something to snack on in the morning. Usually I rotate between Cheerios and oranges. A co-worker of mine made a comment about the "carbs" in Cheerios. I really do not consider Cheerios to be a "bad" food, and I do not want to have to watch every little thing that I am eating.

JayEll...I like your suggestion! Maybe if I move I will be able to eat Cheerios everyday!

Yeah, I HATE The Food Police! :mad: Why can't they keep their noses out of our business? If we've all lost as much weight as we have, then we all must have done something right!

I've mostly been told by friends, "You're no fun anymore! How come you rarely come out, party, and get drunk with us anymore?" I rarely drink because alcohol is so loaded with calories (well, the alcohol itself is not that bad, but the stuff you mix it with can be killer!)

Then, if I DO decide to drink, I hear stupid comments like, "I thought you said alcohol had carbs. Carbs make you gain weight!"

I think the people who tell us we're still doing something wrong just want to judge us. It gives them some sort of empowerment to be an armchair doctor. I never understood it; I've never told anyone what they "can" or "cannot" eat - isn't that up to the person eating it?!

Now that I'm much smaller, I also hear (from people who only knew me at my HW, which would be in the last year and a half), "Are you STILL on your diet? Haven't you lost ENOUGH? You've gotten so thin! WHOA, you want to lose TWENTY MORE pounds? WHY? Are you sure that's healthy?"

HOWEVER, for the most part, the feedback I've received has been overwhelming but positive. I can't believe how many people notice (even strangers! :eek:) because I don't see much of a difference... when I look in the mirror, I still see my 175 pound self.

One of the most prevalent problems seems to be that folks don't understand the ongoing-ness of slimness. The fact that we can't diet ourselves slim and then go back to normal.

The strange ones for me were:

"You're not still losing are you?" in a tone that implied I'd gone quite far enough.

and,

"You shouldn't lose any more, you're looking too thin." Again in a voice of a person with a stake in the outcome.

The response that worked for me was, "All done, finally bought some new clothes." That closed the discussion in an upbeat mood; it worked equally well while I was still losing and after I hit maintenance weight.

As some of you in the maintainers forum know, this week I have been subject to several comments from someone I've known ~3 months who is both a co-worker and roommate. She has pushed the issue about why I wouldn't accept a free meal (pizza) yesterday, and in the past has watched me pour my bran flakes for breakfast and said "I just can't imagine not liking the food that I eat." When I had said nothing about not liking bran flakes, and I do in fact like them, and told her "I like everything that I eat." She has made several comments along those lines since I've known her, though not constant. That she is both my roommate & co-worker makes it a bit more of a delicate situation for me, since I see her all the time. We are generally friends and get along well. Our other co-workers and other roommate long ago got used to and accepted my eating habits, and though I occasionally experience some good-natured ribbing from them, it is not as aggressive, I would say, as these more recent comments. (Also the other co-workers/friends will also say very positive things about my eating and gym habits.)

I've stopped adding my opinion when others are talking about food in general, to not draw added attention to myself. But this is the first time I've encountered someone who makes repeated comments, and won't drop the subject of food with me even after I try to deter her with a comment such as "Oh, I just like to know what goes in my food" to explain why I don't like to eat out. I think if it happens again I will say "I LOVE the food I eat" (per Kery's suggestion, I believe, from another thread, or "You look at your plate and I'll look at mine" as Jay suggested, and refuse to say anything more. I'm tired of dealing with these uninvited comments from this person.

Robin, vealcalf2000, I can totally empathize with you. If I decide to eat a piece of chocolate or a chip, I feel under immense scrutiny from people thinking that I am a healthy eater, so I shouldn't have that. I've learned to be comfortable enough with some people that it doesn't bother me, but clearly I'm not comfortable enough to do it (or at least, do it without inhibitions) in front of everyone. Robin, I can't believe the nerve of that woman at the party! Maybe I'll start quoting the 80/20 rule, something like "You know what they say, eat healthily 80% of the time and eat what you want 20% of the time". Except that makes it sound like I don't like what I eat 80% of the time, not true!

Perhaps we could say something like "My diet lets me eat chocolate/hot dogs/etc., I don't believe in such restrictive eating habits." Hmm...

This is definitely a continued source of frustration for me, and sometimes I just like to rant a little bit about it. Glad I have this thread to do it in. ;)

But I'm not innocent either. When a coworker has been to WW and joined a Biggest Loser contest in the last few months and shows up with processed cheese on white bread ...
Of course she often has little tidbits that she passes on to help me too.

I've always thought my family was my worst critics. My sister will say, "eating that peanut butter will make you fat, here eat this trail mix instead". She is also the one who says "don't lose anymore, it will make you look older with a bony face". Just last weekend she said "this is the first time in my life I have seen you turn down fried potatoes". She never had any faith that I could lose weight in the first place and now she is regretting telling me "why lose weight, you'll just gain it all back or even more". My response to her is usually too ignore her. She can't help it that she lost her token fat sister, and it drives her to say really stupid things.

Shane:
Robin:
It worked for me once to mimic a story as if it were mine with the response:

"A friend of mine had a colleague who flew first class sitting next to the Dali Lama. When the colleague questioned the Dali Lama about why he ate the chicken served, he got the response, 'Buddhists offer thanks to an animal before they eat it.' "

The response is great. It sidesteps the stupid question, and it injects into the conversation many new topics to follow instead: Buddhists, Dali Lama, airline travel, airline food, colleagues. And the story might even be true; I believed it when I heard it the first time.

Count me in on being on the receiving end of stupidity!
(maybe not stupidity-that's a bit harsh-how about ignorance)
I have been at the same weight (approximately) for almost 2 years now and I still get comments and feel like I'm being watched.
I absolutely HATE family gatherings for this reason! I don't think people understand that you have to watch what you do for the rest of your life!
I'm also sick of explaining (sometimes even before a comment because I know it's coming, or they're thinking it) that I NEED to eat small amounts frequently. This means that if I go to a special occasion, I will NOT be pigging out or loading up my plate. It doesn't mean I'm starving myself; it means I've already been eating all day and would like to eat something later as well. It makes me so nervous to eat in front of these people because I feel like I'm under some kind of microscope. Even if they're not watching me, I still feel like they are due to past comments which deeply traumatized me. :(

It's eased up a bit over the past couple of years, but it got really bad for a spell over the summer... the girls I worked with weren't rude, but they were always commenting on how healthy I eat and asking me over and over and over how I lost it. Really, it was a compliment. The people close to me, though, that's a different story. My mom *still* acts "concerned" and gets very dramatic that I will not eat her cooking (SHE came to that conclusion, like I would somehow throw a plate of chicken fried steak and mashed potatoes against the wall in disgust- not gonna happen:lol:) I have to explain my eating to her constanty, which isn't that complicated. I eat a lot of fresh vegetables and fruit and will eat almost anything you cook if I am hungry (she buys "homegrown" meat and organic vegetabls. The woman lives next door to the health food store- no problem).

It goes like this:
More often than not, if you cook something special for me when I come home, I will eat it. If I'm out somehwere and order a soup and salad and don't get a burger with everyone else, it's because I've done a quick go-over in my head and have decided I'm not going to splurge. I'm not miserable over there with my veggies and am secretly dreaming of running off with your burger. It was a small, insignifiant, unimportant, and minor decision- one of many I (and everyone else will) make throughout the day (should I go this way to school or that way? black socks or white?) Nothing more, nothing less.

*Regarding those who still make comments about "being no fun" because of what I eat or order out: A few close friends still do this occaissionally and I do not want to be that person that is high and mighty about my healthy diet and adding to whatever they feel makes them say stuff like that- but I will go there when they do not let up. I've had to threaten to comment on every single thing that crosses their lips. Problem solved. I've only had to go there once and I wish I thought of it sooner.

My new problem: People being downright offended and hurt when I don't eat a dish of theirs that I can't afford or just don't plain want. Scenario: I'm at my sister's. She has "made" fruit. She took some perfectly good fruit and drenched it in sugar and refrigerated it. Not my cup of tea, so I politely declined. She still mentions how this hurt her feelings, which eludes to her issues, not mine, but nonetheless. It almost makes me wish i had just eaten the darn fruit, you know?

I've definitely faced a lot of this stuff over my weight loss journey this past year, and it just keeps getting worse. I get a lot of flak because I don't have a restrictive diet at all, so people see me eating chocolate or other "bad" things and I have to hear about how awful a person I am for eating them! I get a lot of people telling me how to lose weight, too -- lots and lots of advice. I want to say..."You know what? I think I've got it from here, considering I've lost 108 pounds. Take your own advice!" But I'm nice...I just listen and nod, wondering how they have the guts to tell someone who's obviously been successful with weight loss that she doesn't actually know what she's doing.

I get a lot of the "you shouldn't eat carbs" thing. Um...I'm a runner. If I don't eat carbs, I might last half a mile. Besides...I've done all the reading, I know what carbs do to your body, blah blah... And without restricting carbs I've consistently lost an average of 1-2 pounds a week for over a year except for a period of CHOSEN maintenance to train for a half marathon.

Seriously, though, as Robin said -- I would never bother someone about what they were eating. I never have and never will. It's just plain rude. I don't understand why people think it's ok to do that.

Honest? My gut reaction would have been to ask her "Are you drunk?". And knowing myself, that very likely wouldn't have been a wished reaction, but a real one. :lol: (No, seriously, but one has to be frigging high to behave in such a way??)

A few weeks ago, I had posted rant about a very similar topic on my blog. Yeah, it really seems to happen to everyone of us, and worse, it seems like whatever we do, we are NEVER right to the eyes of other people. Pay attention to what you eat? oh, you're on a diet. Finally eat that tiny piece of chocolate? Oh, but aren't worried about your weight? Grr. Leave us be, for God's sake, or I will really start to systematically criticize whatever is in your greasy sandwich bought at the burger joint nearby.

Usually, if someone asks, I answer that I'm not on a diet (I'm not, I'm eating in a healthy way, that's all, and if I actually have the need to move my *** more than to just go from the elevator to my car, that's not anyone's problem but mine). If they push the matter, I'll say something along the lines of "if eating normally means gulping down three croissants for a snack, then we have a problem, Houston", or whatever else strikes my fancy. I must have become a rude person in that regard, but I frankly don't care. My take on it is that if people allow themselves to judge, then it means they've already prepared themselves to a counter-attack--and if they haven't? Boo-frigging-boo, barf me a river and go cry to Momma. Hurling boulder rocks IS fun from my side, after all. ;)

My mother is funny as well regarding food. Not in a criticizing way, more in an apologetic way, such as "will you eat what we eat? Is there something else I can cook for you?" (I guess my parents are still used to eating lots of junk food, after years of having to use cheap breaded turkey and the likes as staples due tot being in debt. *sigh*) I've just told her once and for all that as long as there are a couple of veggies, I'll be happy, and will do my own portioning. The stuff I won't eat is mainly breaded/fried things, but that's more because I don't like the taste than because I want to play the haughty holier-than-thou attitude (which is crap, anyway). Ah, poor parents. But they're asking me for advice sometimes now, so I don't mind commenting about food the other way around with them, since they asked first, right?

I get the "she's no fun anymore" line from co-workers when I'm eating my lunchtime salad. I know they don't really mean it -- as far as I know, my ability to carry on a conversation isn't related to what I eat -- so it doesn't really bother me, but I must say it's getting a bit old.

The harder comments for me are, like many others who have posted, from my parents, and in particular my mom. I love her dearly, and truly consider her one of my best friends. But we've *always* had our worst battles over what I eat and how much of it. After 30 plus years of having these battles, you'd think we'd both outgrow them!

She and my dad are coming to visit for three weeks (!) in October. I'm looking forward to their visit very much except the part where I have to explain and defend why I don't eat refined carbs anymore, why I'm not interested in having her homemade muffins for breakfast and apple pie for dessert (well, maybe "not interested" isn't the right phrase!), why I eat my stir fry without rice and my spaghetti sauce without pasta, why I don't eat sandwiches for lunch, etc. If it were just a couple of days, I'd probably just grin and bear it and get back on plan after they leave, but three weeks is enough time to do some significant damage. Ah well, family is family.

Kim

It just amazes me that other people put us in positions where we have to explain and justify what we eat. It's so darn rude to comment on what people are eating. As I said in the other thread, I would never comment on what someone is eating, other than saying something like, "that looks sooo good," or something complimentary like that. (And I taught my kids to never say ewww or "i hate that" when offered something they don't care for. Just say, "no thank you.") The fact that we're are dieters and once weighed more than we do makes us open game to people, I suppose.

I don't care for the advice on dieting, either. The other day my heavy sister-in-law and I were talking about what we like to eat for lunch and I was saying that I'll go in these food jags, where I'll want the same thing for lunch everyday for weeks, and then wake up one morning and have to have something different, and then I'll eat that everyday for weeks, and so on. My current lunch jag is cottage cheese and pineapple tidbits. She said that pineapple isn't good for you because it has so much sugar in it (it does have a lot of sugar, I agree), and then proceeded to chow down on 4 pieces of pizza, while I had one slice and a big green salad. Did I say anything to her about her pizza and all the carbs in the crust and fat in the meat and cheese? Of course not! I wouldn't dream of it.

Grrr. Anyway, it's nice to know that we have each other to commiserate with. Maybe the thing to do is to complain to these people about how people are always commenting on what we eat and explain that it drives us crazy, hurts our feelings, makes us self-conscious or whatever, and then let them put the puzzle together.

Pam

Good point! I'm planning to relocate next year, and didn't think about this great benefit. Starting a new job also has some of that effect - nobody knows about recent changes.

Beautiful. Short, sweet, and to the point. :)

Hurt her feelings? Whatever. Don't fall for that! It's silly.

Yeah, after losing 60 pounds, my ex-boyfriend told me I should buy a juicer. Umm, OK, he's 150 pounds dripping wet, like he knows *anything* about weight loss.

I totally agree, it's so rude to say "ick!" about something someone's eating. Just because you have the RIGHT to your opinion doesn't mean it's polite to voice it.

Lots of great ideas here!

I mean really. I would never comment on what someone else is eating. A) it's none of my fliipin' business and B) I just don't think about it (until it's brought up). I think people feel threatened or insecure or whatever, which is their issue- but they sure do a good job of making it my issue...

WOW....cant believe there is already 2 pages on this ....what a nerve hitter!

Woman at gym who always tells me I am doing great started expressing a bit of concern that I wasnt eating enough to nurse my baby...didnt bother me as I think she phrased it out of true concern....saw me at a restaurant the day I ran 16 miles and said "you wont stay thin eating here!" (ummm....you are here too?)

My mom and her partner insist that only fruit before noon is the only way to lose weight. They are both obese. They STILL tell me this.

My friends who always bring snacky goody stuff that I CANT resist said something once about how they felt put out a bit because we never buy it and clearly we like it so why dont we buy it. Ummm.. I would PREFER that you didnt buy it either and bring it to my house. If I dont eat their food I feel I offend them, If I do they kind of make comments like "see, you really do want this food".

Or my personal favorite now that I have hit really high mileage "It is so easy for you to lose weight...I could NEVER eat (pizza) (icecream) and lose like you do" Uhh...yeah you could if you burned 6000 calories a week in exercise like I do and only had those things as an occasional treat. (OK, towards the end of summer icecream was becoming a bit more than occasional)

I have to say this is a very thought provoking thread.

I guess I don't eat around enough people because no one seems to make any of these comments to me. Well, sometimes my DD does, but I think that is just her way of joking with me.

When reading Robin's post, I, too, thought she ought to move! JayEl, we think alike!

Megan~if someone said "I can't imagine not liking the food I eat" I would reply with "me either, that's why I'm not having pizza."

:D

The notion that, in order to lose weight, we have to choke down dreck, fascinates me. Where did that come from? Sounds like a new thread?

The woman that I was speaking about, the hostess of the party, is my DH's first cousins wife. She wasn't high. We really only see one another at family functions. The funny thing is, she is such a snot, she barely said a word to me in the past. Recently, she's been like my best friend at every family gathering. Seeing me take that chocolate must have really gotten to her. Because it is SO out of character for her to make a scene like that. Amazing what seeing a grown woman eat a little chocolate can do to a normally reserved person. Yet alone surrounded by her snotty friends in evening gowns, dripping with diamonds.

I kinda like what Lisa said, "I think I've got it from here" and Jays "You look at your plate, I'll like at mine". But I know I'll never get the words out.

That's another thing. I always feel the need to tell everyone, that I absolutely, genuinely love everything that I eat now. They think that I'm some deprived person, living like a rabbit. Why does eating healthy freak out so many people?

I think that it was an unfortunate coincidence that whoever chose the shape of Fiber One chose to make it very similar to the shape of rabbit food pellets. Think of all the suffering it could have saved us if they had decided to mush it into a flake instead! :mouse:

Oh, that reminds me... A colleague at the office told me that my quinoa smelt and tasted like horse food. Thanks, asshat. :rolleyes:

Kery! :rofl: I'll have to remember that little phrase! :lol3:

Jay

:rofl: - AGREED!

Wow, this obviously touched a nerve with a lot of people!

I either haven't gotten much of the commentary about eating and weight, or it doesn't bother me, or (most likely) I've told people to back off so they don't bother me any more. I'm not much for letting my boundaries get pushed in the name of being polite. Plus I am as likely (at work anyway) to eat half a box of donuts, nothing but 10 cal sugar-free jello, or carrots and hummus. No one knows what to expect--maybe just too weird to comment on.

I did have an issue when I was breastfeeding my colicky baby, and then everybody and their brother had an opinion on what I was eating to cause it. And being a hormonal mess and having issues getting and keeping that on the right track, I was especially sensitive to it all, and not being assertive about it. Not eating enough, too much dairy, too much broccoli (!), too much coffee, not enough wine (!). Why was I hurting my child--put her on formula. I was in tears most of the time, frustrated, and guilt-ridden. The truth is that some babies are colicky and there isn't much to be done, as my pediatrician kept reminding me, and that I was doing the right thing, in spite of the busy-bodies.

Anyway, just goes to show people feel justified in commenting on food choices in a variety of situations. My theory is it that most of us are uncomfortable with what we eat, and just run our mouth to alleviate that discomfort. I think this thread shows that we are also keeping score, how many slices of pizza, who is eating better around us, who is eating junk. I love to look at shopping carts and feel superior, but generally am able to keep my mouth shut.

Anne

Yes, yes, YES I can relate to this.

A good example is my soon to be father-in-law. Since my boyfriend`s Mom was ill, I went by to cook for them and some family that were staying there (all male, none could cook). Since I don`t force my eating habits on others, i made potatoes, a Peruvian dish that is strictly verbotten for me (made with a cheese and bread sauce, so yummy), and rice for them. At the same time I had a veggie mix in the oven for me. When everyone sat down to eat, it basically became attack the cook time.

Why wasn`t I having soup? Why did I not have rice on my plate? Why don`t i eat what I cook? Why no rice? It`s delicious, why am I not eating?

I got very upset and told them that they were on their own for the evening and the next day (my days to cook). That evening they had fried eggs and bread. In the morning they just had bread, and by lunch they broke down and had to go out to eat, and blamed it all on me.

I had explained that I am losing weight for my wedding. Not good enough. That they would not eat what I eat, therefore I made something different for them. They said that what I ate was wrong. The only saving grace isthat my boyfriend has been supportive and has told his family members that they acted badly to what was a favor on my part.

This is especially tough over here, where people still believe that sit ups will take away my belly, fish has no fat, you can eat all the avocado you want, and a serving of rice is actually at least 2 cups. For the people who I don`t know I just say that I am allergic to that food. For everyone else, it depends on how badly they piss me off.

Whew, I`m glad I got that off my chest!

Archy! That is AWFUL of them! How kind of you to cook them separate dishes.

Some of their questions sound honest, like not knowing that too much rice can be an issue. And maybe some of it is cultural.

Kudos to your BF for standing up for you. :)

I know im not a maintainer or anything but i really associate with this thread. since ive been on one diet or another since i was about 12, theres usually something or other that im not meant to be eating and always someone to comment when i do eat them! im back on weight watchers points plan, which as the whole world and their dog knows means you can eat whatever you want as long as you point it! but my dad still feels the need to mention it if he sees me eating a well earned chocolate biscuit or drinking a cup of sugary tea. then i feel like i have to tell him beforehand that i have the points and i hate having to defend myself. he said something that really offended me last week; my mum (also on ww but only 8 stone anyway!) mentioned how id like to have a stone off by christmas, and i was eating something at the time, crisps i think, and my dad said "and how are you going to manage that?" in a really snide tone. and my mum didnt even stick up for me. this kind of thing makes me feel like a pig and sparks a plan not to eat in front of people so they cant criticise me. its so counterproductive to a positive attitude about my own weight. and usually he ends up being right, because in reality i dont have self control and i am greedy and i cant stick to any plan. thats why i really admire all you ladies who continue in the face of horrible people who think they know best, and dont give in to the temptations,and keep losing weight. its really inspirational and more power to you!

I get both. I have several friends who say "I'm no fun anymore" because I don't go out drinking and go for ice cream, at least not as often as I did before. I also have friends and family and acquaintances who seem to scruntize my food. A few, I think, also seem to look me over to see whether I'm gaining the weight back.

I think my only "incident" in the 2 months, since I have made "better choices", is at CHILI'S restaurant. I had printed out the nutrition break down before we went. I took it in to read, I had planned to eat off the "guiltless pleasure" menu ( I didn't want to make the same mistake there TROOWORLD did) but I didn't want to LOCK in on that just in case I changed my mind. Well, the little...and I mean little...also very cute ;) waitress kept looking at me, and of course wondering why it was taking me so long to order, while I looked at every thing on the menu and the calorie count! I told her just bring me a light beer and go on her merry way, I would flag her down when I was ready to order...she just kept checking in...kind of made me feel un-comfortable reading my calorie list...so I had another beer....NOT! Anyway, that is the only time I have felt "on display".

Here is my idea ~ BUSINESS CARDS! Just have business cards printed up, they are so cheap these days, print out ALL of your restrictions and rules on it with a little note to the :nose: NOSEY :nose: people that if what you are eating isn't on the list speak up in a supportive way...if it is on the list....SHUT UP!...in a kind way of course ;) And give them to everyone!

You know, its funny. Most of my family and friends are fixated, but not negative...

When I first started, my father in law was CONVINCED that I was going to fail because I didn't have a defined goal. He has been on and off on weight watchers for a LOOOONG time, and for some reason he just OBSESSED with the fact that I didn't have a goal, and how that would be my ultimate downfall. I also got eating advice from EVERYONE. E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E.

Its funny - when I acted demure and embarrassed in restaurants for ordering "funny" things (can you make sure the veggies are steamed plain?), people commented on how I wasn't fun. Now I am very straightforward (dressing on the SIDE please) and no one really says anything. I just don't make a big deal of it.

People are also really proud of me, so they let me do my thing.

I've also moved since I lost the weight. The people at my job have no idea that I was 40 pounds heavier 4 years ago. I sometimes wonder if it would be a bad idea to mention it...I think the answer is YES!!!

They know I bring my lunch daily (even when free food is available), and they know I don't do junk. Still, I don't think they quite get it -- the idea that I have to eat healthy to stay healthy.

I was just thinking that sometimes people pay more attention to what type of oil they put in their cars than what they put in their own bodies. The body is a machine...you can't expect it to run smoothly on junk. If I want my arteries to stay clear of plaque, I can't eat triple cheeseburgers every day.

I really like the food I eat -- I don't just eat it because it's healthy. I eat it because it's healthy and because it tastes just as good (if not better) than the unhealthy stuff. Why would I choose just one benefit when I can have two! I think they think that I feel like I'm punishing myself, but I'm much happier overall when I eat healthy yummy stuff.

Maybe the cute waitress was checking you out, Gary!