Well folks, I had my telephone interview with flatironmedia. I forget the website (maybe choseyourdiet).
I babbled. Three times in 15 minutes I had to ask what the original question was.
I got a good word in for calorie counting, walking, resistance training, BFL, 3FC and fitday.com.
I guess I shoulda checked when and where we'll be able to see this literary and inspiring piece

Do ya think that pink sweater/black and white skirt pic is a good enough 'after'?

Lily - so sorry

Anne - I took advantage of my illness and involuntary withdrawal from caffeine to remove it from my diet. The only caffeine I've had was after Hood-to-coast when after being up for 36 hours straight AND running 17 miles, I then had to drive home. It didnt seem to affect my sleep THAT night

Ugh - my weight was at my red flag level yesterday but I had a birthday party to go to and so I decided to wait until today...I was up 2 more lbs today. MIL is visiting and took us all out to breakfast...Why is that the easiest meal to eat healthy at home and the hardest meal to eat healthy out? I did well though - veggie eggbeater omelet and dry whole wheat toast, black decaf. But I know they cook those lovely fat free eggbeaters on a griddle with a crap load of oil. But she goes home today so life will settle back to normal.

Count my DH in the group. Yesterday, while he was riding his bike to the train, he fell and broke his left colarbone and 2 ribs. After 8 hours at the hospital, all they could do for him was give him a sling and some pain meds. The colarbone is broken clear through and he can feel the bones grinding on each other. He may need surgery to repair it. He'll have to wait at least a week for his health insurance to finally kick in. He was on a three month waiting period from starting his new job in June.

So sailing, dancing, driving and doing all the boat and house projects he likes to do are out for at least 6 weeks. I don't know how he's going to stand it. He's really the type who can't sit still. He says is in the most pain he's ever felt and he's broken an arm and cracked a rib before.

We had planned to go dancing tonight and out to dinner in NYC with friends tomorrow, but that's all been canceled. Instead, I'll wait til later in the week and then drive up and pick him up and then drive him down to the beach for the Labor Day Weekend.

The letter from my disability insurance company arrived yesterday outlining all the things they need from me regarding the very small amount of money I earn for editing an art journal. Included was the policy. I read through it today and I think that I'll be fine for the amount of money. There's a cause in it that says I have to earn less than 20% per month of what I previously earned, and that's certainly the case.

The bad news is that I cannot receive disability benefits while I'm out of the country so I'm going to have to pay back 8 months worth of benefits from when I was on the 2 cruises. I've got the name of a lawyer who works in this area in case they try to terminate my claim.

My weight's been hovering around 110 for the past week and not dropping down to my low of 105 during the week after readjusting from weekend eating, so I've adjusted my ticker.


Lily - I dated a gambler for four years. His addiction of choice was the stock market, specifically Calls & Puts which are the riskiest of all. While he never actually borrowed money from me, some how he always got me to pay for the presents he gave me. He swore several times he'd stopped, but he couldn't. I ended the relationship after an all expense vacation to Aruba that I had won. He had told me once again he had stopped, but I caught him sneaking a call to his broker just before we boarded the plane. I went on the vacation and had as good a time as I could and then broke up with him after we got back. Then he stalked me, but that's a whole other story...

With any addiction, the only way the addict is going to get better is if they want to. Giving your DH the ultimatum of quiting or divorce is the right thing to do. His continued gambling and need for loans could lose you all those things you mentioned such as a home, cars, boats and saddled you both with individual bancruptcy and years of debt.

It is a bad situation and needs to be taken seriously. But there has to be compassion too. It's good that he has agreed to go to counseling. The next step is for him to agree that he truly has a problem that jeopordizes your whole family's financial and emotional well being and that he has to stop gambling in all forms. It will be very difficult for him, and very difficult for you while he's going through the stages with Gamblers Anonymous or what ever program he agrees to with the help of your counselor.

Know that we are all here for you.

I'm extra late checking in this week thanks to a busy day at work yesterday. Food has not been good and we'll just leave it at that. I need to get back to counting my calories now that the family is gone and I'm back to on-plan eating. Should I revive the "oh (cencored)" thread or start a new menu posting thread?

We have had stress stress and more stress this past week. Having family in town is always stressful, and with the wedding coming up it's just worse. Every time I talk to my parents or my fiance's parents they always have to talk about the wedding, ask if I'm on top of things, worry about things that I have under control, and it is driving me crazy. I told my mom and my fiance's mom that I do not want to talk about the wedding at all. His parents came over for dinner Saturday night and I specifically had Ben brief them on the status before they came, AND tell them I didn't want to talk about it, but it still came up.

Anyway, our new wedding planner is on the ball and has already uncovered another disaster left behind by our ex-wedding planner. Back in May, we signed a contract with him for musicians for our ceremony and reception, and paid a $700 deposit. Since he has gone MIA and we fired him, we realized we didn't have direct contact info for the musicians. Our new wedding planner tracked them down and found out that they never had the event confirmed and never received a deposit. We got in touch with the agency they were being booked through, and found that they had all the arrangements on hold because they had never received their money either. So basically our ex-wedding planner cashed our check for $700 and never paid the agency. Luckily the musicians we thought we had booked were still available and we're getting a new contract with them. Everyone has left messages and emails for our ex-wedding planner and we are hoping he will step up and return us our $700, otherwise we will have to take him to small claims court.

In any case I'm just glad we have a new wedding planner. Phew! She's already confirmed our arrangements with all of our other vendors and is actually meeting with our venue at the moment.

Megan - sorry to hear you had a fight with your BF, I hope everything is worked out now!

Lily - for Chinese-style recipes that are healthier check out Cooking Light's website. They have quite a lot of them -- we made some wontons a couple nights ago that were pretty tasty (138 calories for four of them). I hope you and your husband can work things out. If you can, I would personally drive him to his therapy appointment to make sure he actually goes in.

Carolyn - I hope your DH makes a swift recovery! Speaking of people falling and breaking things, my aunt has fallen five times in the past two weeks, and dislocated her elbow. I'm afraid she will be in a wheelchair before long (she is in her 70's and has chronic leukemia).

Hi to everyone else! I was going to write more but I got a call from our new wedding planner, so there are more disasters to take care of...

Lily I am such a scatterbrain, I missed your post. I am so sorry you are having so much stress. There isn't much you can do but see if he decides to step up to the plate. I think you are doing the right thing by demanding that he get his act together. I hope he sees the light and makes up for all the stress you are going through.

Hi Gary welcome. I am from a family of teachers too. My mom was a teacher by brother teaches accounting at a community college my other brother is a university professor and my dad is a retired minister which is a teacher of sorts really. Funny how those things run in families.

Carolyn I am so jealous that you can get your dh to dance. My husband danced with me at our wedding and that in and of itself was kind of a miracle. It is a dream I have that he will go learn swing dance or some hip latin dance...but alas he will never try. He is self conscious that he has no rhythm poor guy.

Susan your "after" picture will be perfect. Its very flattering.

Mars, I picked 10 lbs under my average pre kid weight (155lbs) as my goal weight (145). Then I lost 5 more... before kids I was just a littly "cushy" and after 2 kids the "cush" got a little "cushier. I think I still have about 10lbs of extra fat here and there but I am less concerned with scale numbers and I am at a comfortable enough weight that I can replace the fat with muscle slowly. I weigh in daily and I have been at 140 or 141 for several weeks now.

To everyone else hello

Just wanted to let you know, although I haven't been around much, I'm still very much in the maintenance game. I am down to 119 lbs! I am still working out 4-5 days a week including 3 days of strength training and I'm eating very well. I do indulge a bit on the weekends but nothing too drastic. Still well within confines of moderation.

I hope everyone is doing well. Lily I'm still praying for your son and your family. I haven't had time to read much today, but I am going to make it one of my goals to make sure I log into this wonderful community at least 2 times a week. I will be starting school soon and my time will be EVEN MORE limited than it is already. Miss you guys though.

Goodness, Lily. That's a lot on your plate. I don't know what I would do. I can't imagine what it must be like to have something like that happen. Do you have your own bank account? At least maybe you can protect something that he can't access -- just in case. Your situation is definitely complex, though.

This morning, I continued on with the hot Grape-Nuts for breakfast. They've been good, but I'm concerned about the possibility of overeating them. Unlike Cream of Wheat, I can munch on them straight from the box. This morning, I ate almost another whole serving of them dry. Also, they're super high fiber, so that was a little shock to the system!

In terms of goal weight, I never had one until I reached it. I know now that I really don't want to be below 117, and I prefer to be under 120 or 121. The weird thing was, for the last 15 or 18 I never felt that I wasn't at an ok weight. The weight really came off slowly -- I never had time-related goals. When I got to where I am now, I just realized that I was where I wanted to be. This is probably not much help to you!

Hi everyone, I'm feeling a little better tonight. My counselor had a cancellation this evening and was able to fit me in quicker than expected. I went and we had a good chat. She made me feel like his addiction is a disease and something that we need to try to work through, not just give up. For the sake of all of us, I'm seriously going to try, but things definitely have to change around here. DH is away at work and they will start seeing him next week. We will also have marriage counseling together.

Allison,I'm going to check the Sunday paper this week since they have the ad in it for Gamblers Anonymous. I would be interested in us going to those meetings also.

I'm sorry my posts have been a real drag lately, and I'll try to be more positive.

Today I was seriously cravings sweets. I made PB cookies with splenda, but the phone rang and I burned them. So, they ended up in the trash. I haven't weighed since about Friday and was at my goal then. I feel like I've lost a couple more lbs. from the stress because my clothes are all baggy.

OMG< Shelbey is hooked on drinking Red Bull. She told me last night she is drinking 6 can's of it a day. Then, she is bouncing off the walls so hyper she can't sleep. Right now she is standing in the hallway singing and dancing with her i-pod. I definitely think she is getting WAY too much caffeine.

Carolyn, thanks for sharing your experience with a Gambler with me, cause I feel like I'm the only one in the world that has had to deal with something like this. I feel shame and I haven't even done anything wrong. It's so hard cause DH has stuck with me in sickness and in health, tells me he loves several times a day, has never raised his voice to me or any of the kids, works his butt off to provide for us finanacially and is the kindest most patient person I've ever known. He always told me I was beautiful even when I was very Obese and felt horrible about myself. But, the gambling thing is ruining it all. Making me doubt him, distrust him . Of course, it doesn't help that where we live there are 3 Indian Casinos within a 20 mile radius of us. It's kind of ironic that I have lived in this house for 8 yrs. now and have only ever stepped inside one of the Casino's one time. I doubled my money playing poker, he lost all of his and we left. I really think he has lost most of his money playing the Real Money tournaments on the computer.

Tara, this has been going on for quite a while. Everytime I think it has stopped, I find it has happened again. Basically it never stopped, he just was able to hide it good for a while. I do have my own Bank account and he doesn't have one. He has to give me his check each week and I make the deposit and give him an allowance. That is how it's been for about 5 yrs. now. It's the extra money he gets a hold of from loan companies, family and friends that worries me to death. He doesn't get the opportunity to gamble with his paycheck. I pay all the bills and take care of all financial matters for the whole household. I am thankful that the home mortgage is in my name only. (his credit was too bad to be on the mortgage, go figure).

Caffeine report...made it through the afternoon, but am about to pass out now. Going to bed at 7:30. Maybe I kicked it? Maybe the pool was just closed and I missed my boost. Too exhausted to exercise anyway, although I did about a thousand toddler lifts and my biceps are fabulous.

Anne

HI GALS ~

Well thanks to my surgery yesterday and light meals, I was down to 190 I hope it stays there in the morning but not counting on it. I did eat right today though so well see. I did 3.25 miles between the walking of the dogs and a quick treadmill run before dinner.

SUSAN ~Isn't it funny how Bee Gees music gets some people up dancing and the Village People can get grown men throwing up their hands to YMCA!

ANNE ~ I have really cut my caffeine intake down, I used to drink 2 thermoses and 2 large 20 oz. cups a day! Good luck to you and sleep!

LILY ~That's a lot of GOOD points for DH ~ focus on the "sickness" and do what you can to help him get better....for all of you!

TARA ~More grape nuts? Should I buy stock

LIBBY ~Awesome job.

HICKERCHICK ~Sounds like your husband and I have the same dancing legs! with 2 left feet! Angie loves to dance!! She is the first one on the floor at the parties...a lot of them for teachers...and of course we had 5 weddings this year...2 of our own!

PAPERCLIPPY ~Sorry to hear about the wedding planner. Both my kids have been married in the last year...I can feel your pain...a little!

CAROYLN ~Prayers for your husband...ouch!

ENNAY ~17 miles and your weight is up? It's Beltre's avg. isn't it?

ALLISON ~I have no idea about music at CSUSM...but I do know they have an excellent program for teachers. My son could have gone just about anywhere, but when it came down to it, he wanted to be a teacher/coach in this area and all the advisors pointed him there, that way he kept his sporting goods store job and was able to assistant coach 3 sports at his alma mater with his high school coaches. Just a thought for you if CSUF didn't work out for some reason...for all I know they don't have music at all in San Marcos. It is just becoming a great little campus from what the kids around here are saying. On second thought maybe it's not such a good idea...knucklehead nephew is planning on going there

MEGAN ~Glad you have more energy. Susan always picks on me What is your fall/winter show?

MARS ~Have you looked at the "standard" safe weight for your body type and height? I set my goal for 16 pounds but I know that it should be more than that, I just want to reach that one! Good luck to you!

RABBIT ~HI! BAFFLED ~Ditto

WATERRAT ~So you read my daughter's wedding thread huh...the son in law still has her "under a spell"

ROBIN ~Boy I DO NOT miss those move in days!

Well GALS ~ Have a great day Wednesday! Gary

Just when I thought my weight was holding steady at 110 lbs, it bounced back down to 105. So, I've readjusted my ticker again.

Hickerchick - Yep, I'm very lucky to have a DH who learned 2 years ago that he loves to dance and that he has a good sense of rhythm, because I don't.

Lily - Wow, your husband really has great attributes! I'm glad your counselor explained how his addiction is a disease. However, with the proper desire and work, he can keep it in check. The question is does he see how serious it is and how negatively it affects you? You personally are in a much better financial situation then I expected.

Gary - 17 miles with a steady diet of mini-bagels with cream cheese, scones, chocolate chip cookies and other quick energy foods followed by 2 days of eating out because I was too damn tired to cook....yeah my weight is up!

On a side note I noticed that "mini bagels" are now as big as full size bagels used to be before full size bagels became big enough to substitute as a spare tire in a pinch.

Hi everyone, I slept in late this morning and am now on my first delicious cup of coffee. I weighed this morning and have lost another lb. so I'm happy with this. I know some people say they tend to binge during stress, I tend to eat less when I'm stressed.

Gary, thanks for the advice. He really does have a lot of positive points, that is what makes this so darn hard.

Carolyn, thanks. If he had ever been mean to me or cheated with another woman this would be a no-brainer. He's totally faithful and I KNOW he loves me. For now, I'm gonna get us all the help that we can and see how things go. I think he is finally starting to see the error of his ways, albeit it was forced by me for him to fess up and try to change. I'm trying to look out for the welfare of our kid's mental health as well. They need to see us as a responsible couple and he has been setting a bad example for the kids. This is partly why Samantha is so screwed up where money is concerned.

Carolyn, our finanancial situation is better than most would expect cause I've been in control of both mine and his pay for about 5 yrs. I have had objects come up missing such as guns, jewelry, a generator, and such but the basic home bills are all paid on time. Given his history I do make him give me his paycheck and I control our expenses cause I can't trust him to do it. I don't see this as ever changing. 3 summers ago when I was hospitalized for 6 weeks with pneumonia and he had to pay the bills in my absence, he totally screwed it up. I came home to cable and internet shut off and a pile of cut-off notices for the utilites that I had to call and make payments to. I actually met the gas company man in the yard when he was trying to shut the gas off.

Of course right now I know he equates intimacy with love and my heart just isn't in it. I do love him but I don't feel affection to him right now.

SusanB, that would be a great after pic. I can't wait to read your article.

Anne, I think I can give up food easier than I can coffee. I make 2 pots a day and most of the time I drink it all. It doesn't keep me awake usually since my body was already used to 6 Mt. Dew's a day before I started drinking coffee. I sure know what you mean about the "toddler lifts". My grandson that is 14 months old weighs 28 lbs. and he follows me around wanting picked up. He is such an adorable little chunk. LOL

My internet has been soooo slooow this morning. It's seriously cut into my 3FC enjoyment. But 'Hi' everyone.

Morning all. It's another day here - 5th absolutely perfect summer day in a row! The State Fair, which is held in our town, opened last Thurs and has had the best weather ever! Usually in late August it's rainy and windy and cold here. Needless to say, they've had record attendance too! Since it's within the city limits, it's a big boost to the City's coffers in the form of sales tax. I went yesterday with 3 GFs and we had a lovely afternoon. I ate more than I probably should have, but none of it was junk, and it's stuff we never see in our little town the rest of the year. I also drank at least a gallon of water, and walked several miles so hopefully much of it balances out.

On the coffee isuse, I used to drink it all day and into the evening. I can't do that any longer. If I drink caffeine after dinner, I have trouble getting to sleep. Sigh. I usually drink 1-1.5 cups at breakfast, and 2-3 times a week I'll have a FF latte (the coffee shop is between the library and city hall where I go for my mail, meetings, etc. Way too convenient. ) I pour several cups a morning at work, but I probably drink 1-2 max, and usually none after lunch. I've pretty much given up diet soda, so that cuts out any for lunch or afternoons.

Lily, I'm glad that you were able to get into your counselor so quickly. I hope that your DH makes good on his promises. Have you considered getting some sort of blocking software on the computers? I know they're made for kids, but there are some out there that you can block specific sites (rather than actual content on any site). Of course, if he's using computers at his workplace, or has his own, that might not work. to you. I've not had to live with anyone with an addiction (though I had one uncle and my BIL who were/are alcoholics) and I know from my sister how hard it is. (On a side note, my sister's husband has been sober for a couple years now - and is no less a jerk IMHO - and now they are getting divorced. Strange. He's moving to Canada to be with someone he met on the internet....... )

Susan, that photo would be great.

Carolyn - sorry to hear about your DH's fall. Hope he's feeling better soon.

to the rest of you. My dept head meeting was just cancelled - YAY - and I have 1.5 hours back to get stuff done.