Ladybug, I like the idea of thinking like a little kid. I think I can do that. ha!

I just realized that ever since I started IE I made a point of eating all meals, because I could. Now I am realizing, hey, I'm not hungry. I'm not going to eat. They always pushed that "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day," so it is hard to skip breakfast; but I'm finding that I am not hungry every morning! I gave myself permission several times this week not to eat breakfast, and it didn't kill me!!!

I've also been in a few situations lately where I would normally have eaten, because it is expected. It is hard to know what to do with myself when I know that I don't want to eat but I don't know what to do with myself instead. You know what I mean?? You know how you go to a sporting event and when you win everyone goes out for ice cream? Those are the kind events I don't know how to handle. I used to LIVE for the ice cream afterward. In fact, I used to not care about the game at all because I was fantisizing about the excuse to eat junk food afterward. Now I don't associate food with rewards or celebrations anymore. Like someone else said also, going out to eat just isn't as magical as it once was. I am actually getting quite sick of thinking about food!

Thanks everyone for your wonderful replies. I have started reading the book and BOY! is that me! It described my life exactly....always dieting (I think I have been on one kind of diet or another for about 20 years...really...and I am 37 years old....NO JOKE! I don't know what it is like to "just eat normal" I want to experiment with this, see what happens...I kind of started yesterday by eating dinner on a small plate...not the huge plate I use to get, but a small one to gage my hunger better (because it forces me to stop more and think..) I was satisfied and not full. I went to bed not stuffed and woke up much more clear headed than I had in along time....WOW.....

Isn't that something, Kay? We get to think about something besides food and life takes on a whole new perspective. ckatgo, I thought this would work for you, too. I have another observation. Last night I went to bed hungry but woke up not hungry. Anyone have any ideas of why that would be? Ladybug, I'm still trying to think like a kid. Haven't done that in years, maybe because I am 57!!!

Think like a kid???? NO PROB......

I normally don't wake up hungry. I can be up for a couple of hours before I get an appetite for anything but coffee, really. I have gone to bed hungry before and woke up not hungry, something about glucose and your liver when you sleep I think I heard once...but don't quote me on that...

Today went ok so far...over ate at lunch though. I went out with some office buddies and had a hard time focusing on my fullness and ate too much....way too much.....but I didn't count the calories on my plate and that is a first for me. My hubby is bring home McDonalds...I ordered fries and a shake. I know he was thinking I had gone mad when I said that....

this is kind of fun....

carolr,
I don't know why that happens, but happens to me sometimes. Some days I wake up hungry, some days I don't. I usually eat my last food 5-6 hours before bed. I don't like the feeling of food in my stomach when I'm going to sleep.

I've also always noticed it when I'm really hungry...There seems to be a period of time where you're hungry if you haven't eaten recently, but if you don't eat, it eventually goes away. Not sure why this is, but I there's probably some rational explanation.

Hi everyone,

I am new here, so far I've only posted in the intro section.

I've read Overcoming Overeating and have been "doing that" for about a year now. I don't weigh myself but I would guess that I gained about 30 pounds and have been the same size for what seems like forever.

I feel that I have really made some breakthroughs recently (although time is hard to track these days since I don't weigh myself or count anything).

I'm almost 42 and I have always had a battle, even when I was "normal" because I always had very thin friends (like size 0 and 2). So after so many years of yoyo dieting, NOT getting anything I really wanted, and then going hogwild during my binges, I expected that it would take a while to make headway. Especially with ice cream, cheeses, salad dressings, etc.

So I am at a point where I may actually be getting smaller, although I try very hard not to make that the goal. I'd like to hang out with some people who actually understand this so that I can share small victories. Like for example in spite of my size going out and getting a really good haircut instead of putting it off forever because of the money... buying ice cream that I like even though no one else likes it... ordering a piece of pie with a walnut crust even though my husband won't be able to help me eat it (allergic).

A lot of my food hangups seem to revolve around money, like food = money, so buy/order the biggest portion for the money instead of what I really want. There are different ways of denying onesself, it can be money or food, or other things and sometimes it isn't real clearcut.

I don't mean to ramble on forever, I've been reading this thread but wow - it is long - I also wanted to say something! I'll be reading more this evening, hoping to participate because it is exciting to find others who know what I am talking about and striving for.

Tara amd ckatgo, thanks for the input. I wish I could find out the scientific explanation for that. I know a nutritionist I miight be able to email. Maybe she would know. I once called Judy Halliday who co-wrote Thin Within to ask her about prednisone and how a persons deals with that kind of abnormal hunger. She was very nice, talked to me about a half hr. but didn't really have an answer. I appreciated her taking the time to speak with me nonethe less. Welcome Wiffle!!!! We like long posts here!!!!

Wiffle, Thanks for posting! I understand all that you are saying. Please hang out with us.
I understand about not doing nice things for myself- like buying a nice outfit because I don't deserve it because I am overweight. Or somehow by buying something the right size might mean that I want to stay this size forever.

Really just learning to like myself for who I am has been a great struggle. Then I started watching some of the "larger" women that I admire. They all have the same things in common. They love themselves for who they are. They dress themselves nicely and groom themselves. They aren't always apologizing for their size. They do the things they enjoy. They are happy! While some may desire to be smaller, it isn't the all consuming obsession, "I can't be happy if I am not thin."

I guess we need to get real- Even those women that we see with "perfect" bodies don't have "perfect" lives. Being the "perfect" weight is not going to bring us ultimate happiness. It certainly isn't going to make our spouse turn into the kind of man we would hope of him or keep our bosses from being jerks. Instead of saying that I have to get to a certain weight to be happy, I want my goal to be to achieve a size where I will be healthy and comfortable participating in all of the activities that I love. That may not necessarily be getting back down to a size 8!

Not sure where all those thoughts came from, but I am really working on loving myself and giving myself permission to be happy with being me. It definately is going to be a long process of getting rid of the critical, hateful voice that has haunted me for so long (even when I was thin because I wasn't thin enough!).

I have a very hard time buying clothes. None of them seem to fit right at all. I think that makes it worse for me because even if I went to the stores for the larger women, I don't look right in the clothes. My butt sticks out in the back and looks horrible in almost anything. When I was smaller (size Medium, size 6 or 8) I used to be so excited to get nice clothes - and the smaller sizes cost less too. Now my clothes feel more like physical restraints than just clothes.


I know what you mean about not bringing ultimate happiness but it would be so nice to get clothes that fit, be able to go out and rollerblade without the fear of a massive injury, etc. I really do have a good life, a good husband (more on him in a minute) and maybe I'll get around to getting a job soon (I temp right now).

Re: husband. How would anyone try to work out these eating issues without a very understanding husband. I don't know many who would drive their overweight wife to the store to make sure she has plenty of ice cream.

I was on the verge of weight loss surgery when I found "Overcoming Overeating" over a year ago, and my husband urged me to try this instead of the surgery, knowing I would gain. In that year I have had an opportunity to meet quite a few people who have had WLS, and some of them (1/3 - 1/2?) have not had the success they expected. I'm glad I didn't do it.

We are trying to incorporate more "normal" exercise in our routine rather than obsessive "all or nothing" exercise. Today, as a family, we are going to "play tennis" at our local courts. We aren't very good, but it is good exercise to chase the balls around at a minimum! We also have the Turbo Jam CDs to do a little workout at home. I figure these are things that people of normal weight do.

I had a couple of really hungry days but I am going to try to stay off the scale because it can be really discouraging. My clothes have been looser and I am wearing things I haven't worn for awhile so that is always encouraging. I do bodyflex everyday. It just makes me feel better overall. I like to walk but my nephrologist told me I shouldn't be in the sun so I try to to that. I have gotten to the place where I don't think I could diet again. Going by hunger and fullness just seems to be so natural.

There is another good website www.undieting.com and I want to share one of the free posts they sent.

Many attempts at dieting have taught us to try and
adhere to rigid rules. The last thing we want to do is
put ourselves into diet-mode by creating a whole new
set of rules. Diets themselves have proven that
perfection, rigidity, and undereating are not
successful.

Undieting works best if you allow yourself to fail a
lot. It's a process of experimentation.

The paradox is that failure leads to success.

Failure enables you to discover what works best for
your body. Learning is most effective when you allow
yourself the freedom to make "mistakes".

You get to try lots of different things with
absolutely no guilt and no judgment.

Think of this process as a time to objectively notice
what you do...
~ Test different levels of hunger and satisfaction.
~ Decide what foods make you feel best.
~ Become aware of which favorite foods you may not
even actually like.
~ Notice which foods make you feel horrible after you
eat them.

You won't always eat the perfect food in the perfect
amount at the perfect time. NO ONE DOES. That's okay.
It's how real life works.

Accepting that you sometimes eat the wrong thing, or
the wrong amount, is part of how this program leads to
a normal relationship with food.

People who eat normally sometimes eat too much. They
eat from mouth hunger. They eat a wide variety of
foods including some junk.

Former dieters tend to want to ban all such behaviors
100%. That is diet thinking and it's too rigid to be a
way of life. Give up the need to be perfect and allow
yourself to be human.

Undieting is based on moderation. It is making choices
based on self-love. Take good care of yourself, learn
from your mistakes, and you will succeed.

Allow yourself to fail without guilt or punishment.
Letting go of toxic "diet thinking" is an essential
part of success. Undieting will guide you every step
of the way with a simple 11-step roadmap.

Here is another post from the above site.

Trust your body

There is a dark cave of food worries, weight obsession,
self-criticism, and self-loathing that we inadvertently
stumbled into through dieting. It's time to step out of
that cave. The door is right here.

Walking out is easier than you think. It's not difficult.
It's just different.

You deserve to step into the sunshine. To stand in your
personal power completely free of deprivation and fear.

This is a permanent solution.

This is not another diet that you will suffer through
and then gratefully end as soon as possible. This is a
wonderful way of life that you will enjoy.

As you live in peace and harmony with the beautiful
body you have you will think and act like the naturally
healthy, strong person you are. Your weight will
finally stabilize at your natural ideal and you'll stay
there permanently. It will happen effortlessly and
easily.

Feel comfortable and at home in your body, accept it
unconditionally and love it completely. Instead of
fighting your body, honor its needs and give it what it
wants. Choose to be kind to yourself. You then easily
live every day at your personal peak of health and
vitality.

Your body is wise. It knows exactly what it needs. And
as you learn to listen and honor those needs you
naturally stand in your own knowing, in your power, and
make the choices that best serve YOUR body.

Leave your old habits and that comfort zone behind. Be
brave and adventurous enough to actually trust yourself.

Your body knows exactly what it needs to be healthy and
vibrant. Set yourself free.

Step out of that cave and into the warm sun. There is
so much more to life than food and weight worries.
Leave the diet mentality behind.

Get off the diet bandwagon and return to a life worth
living. Relearn how to trust yourself and then you can
focus all that dieting energy on creating an amazing
life. Undieting will guide you every step of the
way with a simple 11-step roadmap.