:rofl:
star were have you been...missed you

Ha ha, sounds like a workable plan to me!!

Why do women like circumcised men?

Because they can't resist 10% off.

:lol3:

An unmarried woman is newly pregnant and gets into an auto accident. She suffers a head injury and lapses into a coma for nine months. When she awakens in the hospital, she panics and asks about her baby.

Her doctor is called in and gives her a mild sedative, then he sits down to answer her questions. "I'm so happy to see you recovering", he says. The woman responds, "Thank you doctor, but what about my baby? Is everything all right?" He replies, "Yes, despite your injury, we were able to perform a fairly normal delivery procedure."

"In fact," he goes on, "you've given birth to twins - a boy and a girl". The woman is very happy and asks when she can see her new babies. The doctor replies, "Right away, but we've already sent the infants home with your brother. We'll call and tell him you're okay. While you were unconscious, your brother took care of everything for you. He even gave the babies names."

At this point, the woman gets upset, "Doctor, my brother is an idiot! What name did he give my little girl?" The doctor answered that her name was Denise. "Oh, Denise, that's not so bad. What name did he give my boy?" The doctor answered, "Denephew".

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, jackasses, and pigs, the wife asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the husband replied, "in-laws."

What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?

Divorced

:crazy:

A blonde goes into a laundry mat and asks to have her sweater cleaned. The laundromat attendant doesn't hear her correctly and says, "come again?" The blonde blushes slightly and giggles, "oh, no it's just mustard this time."

This farmer has 500 hens but no rooster so he goes to his neighbor and asks him if he could buy a rooster for $100.

The neighbor says, "You can have this rooster. His name's Roy. He'll get all your hens pregnant. He's a real stud."

So the farmer takes him home and says, "It's your first day so take it slow, okay?"

The farmer puts Roy in the hen house and then hears all the hens crying and yelling. Roy nailed every one of those hens and then nailed a duck and a goose at a pond.

The next morning the farmer finds Roy lying dead with his legs sticking in the air and buzzards circling overhead.

The farmer says, "Roy, did you have to die?"

Roy says, "Quiet! They're about to land!"

:lol3:

Karen...you are going to get me fired...everytime I thought I had laughed too hard, the next one made me laugh even harder. :rofl:

How Smart Is Your Right Foot?
This is so funny that it will boggle your mind.


And, you will keep trying it at least 50 more times to
see if you can outsmart your foot. But you can't!!!

1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot
off the floor and make clockwise circles with it.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the
air with your right hand. Your foot will change
direction!!!

I told you so... And there is nothing you can do about it.
Make sure you pass this on.

Happy Valentine's Day
 

A woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she awoke, she told her husband, "I just dreamt that you gave me a gorgeous and expensive pearl necklace for Valentine's Day! What do you think it means?"

"You'll know tonight," he said. She was so excited.

That evening, her husband came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it and found a book titled The Meaning of Dreams.

Ha ha, funny Carmen. Where have you been hiding?

This is how I've come to feel about this place!
http://www.geocities.com/fire_godess_e35/friends.jpg

What religion is your bra?

A man walked into a ladies department of macy's and syly walked up to the
women working behind the counter and said, " I'd like to buy a bra for my
wife." What type of bra? asked the clerk. Type? inquires the man, There is
more than one type? Look around, said the saleslady, as she showed the sea
of bras in every shape, size, color, and material imaginable.
Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of
bras to choose from. Relieved, the man asked about the types. The saleswomen
replied: There are the catholic, the salvation army, The presbyterian, and
the baptist types. Which would you prefer?
Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the difference between them.
The saleslady responded, It is all quite simple...

The Catholic type supports the masses.
The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen.
The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright, and
The Baptist makes mountains out of the mole hills.
but don't forget the German ( HOLTZEMFROMFLOPPEN)

Have you ever wondered why A,B,C,D,DD,E,F,G,and H are the letters used to
define bra sizes?
A) Almost Boobs....
B) Barely there...
C) Can't complain
D) Dang!
DD) Double Dang!!
E) Enormous!
F) Fake.
G) Get a reduction
H) Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up!!

Katie funny and I'm sure most of us are going down in cup sizes:)