Welcome to The Beck DIET solution discussion group, support group, diet coach group relating to the book by Dr. Judith S. Beck:The Beck Diet Solution is a psychological program, not a food plan. It provides a step-by-step program to learn specific techniques to stay on our diet, lose weight, and maintain our weight loss for life. The program is based on Dr. Beck's clinical research in Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT).

There are no eating plans, calorie counts, recipes or exercises; according to Beck, any healthy diet will work if we learn to think differently about eating and food. Beck's book is like an extended therapy session with a diet coach.

This is a place to discuss the Beck strategies and our daily efforts, to receive and provide support, and, for some of us, is where we serve as on-line diet coach to each other.

If you’ve arrived from a search engine, you’ve landed at the site of 3 fat chicks, a remarkable place for those interested in a healthy life style, including mindful eating, exercise, and weight loss. More about the site, including how to register so that you can post can be found here.

The book, The Beck Diet Solution, is available on Amazon through the 3FC store by clicking here.

Previous Beck threads on 3fatchicks.com:

The Beck Diet Solution – November 2008 – Group for Support, Discussion, Diet Coach
The Beck Diet Solution – October 2008 – Group for Support, Discussion, Diet Coach
The Beck Diet Solution – September 2008 – Group for Support, Discussion, Diet Coach
The Beck Diet Solution – August 2008 – Group for Support, Discussion, Diet Coach
The Beck Diet Solution – July 2008 – Group for Support, Discussion, Diet Coach
The Beck Diet Solution – June 2008 – Group for Support, Discussion, Diet Coach
The Beck Diet Solution – May 2008 – Group for Support, Discussion, Diet Coach
The Beck Diet Solution – April 2008 – Group for Support, Discussion, Diet Coach
The Beck Diet Solution – March 2008 – Group for Support, Discussion, Diet Coach
The Beck Diet Solution – February 2008 – Group for Support, Discussion, Diet Coach
The Beck Diet Solution – January 2008 – Group for Support, Discussion, Diet Coach
The Beck Diet Solution – December 2007 – Group for Support, Discussion, Diet Coach
The Beck Diet Solution - November 2007
The Beck Diet Solution - October 2007
The Beck Diet Solution - September 2007
The Beck Diet Solution - August 2007
The Beck Diet Solution - July 2007
The Beck Diet Solution - May/June 2007

Diet Coaches - Cooked up the batch of greens that I had bought for my work lunches. CREDIT moi. LOL, I thought I had purchased Kale; took it from the stack of greens where the Kale is usually sold. Turns out it's Collard Greens. Fortunately, I like them also. I was distracted when I bought it by a lady buying about ten bunches - that's a lot of Collards. One more item I'd never cooked before. The big challenge is to remember that you're cooking Collards for 45 minutes without leaving the house or going too far to hear the timer bell go off. DW made extra Butternut Squash mashed with Matzu Apple - yummy. Those two, plus some leftover turkey, and I'm set for lunch this week.


angelmoma210 - Yep, Kudos for having your head on straight about Thanksgiving, "today is a new day." Sending supportive thoughts that this is the week that you and DH receive a positive outcome on his saga at work.

Anne (wndranne) - Ouch for DS having a "screaming fit." Double Ouch for the Sabotaging Thought "I have failed my son." BTDT. It's an awful feeling when my DS's life isn't like a Norman Rockwell painting and I feel that my limitations contributed. BIG Kudos for joining the Y and Kudos for planning out your exercise week. What a great start for December.

Thanks for the reminder that fewer dishes supports eating less. Which reminds me that where we usually eat Thanksgiving dinner, a ham is also served. And I always have some ham as well as some turkey rather than choosing one or the other. Still have some work to do on meals served buffet style.

Your consolation prize is the old Catch 22 safety net: Anyone who is clear enough to channel a cartoon character is declared sane. Next.


Readers -

Happy December! Just a quick swing by this morning to say that DS is completely fine this morning. I however, am exhausted, level 8, and am hereby going back to bed now that the kids are at daycare and see if I can catch a couple hours. I may have to postpone or even skip my workout today, and my oil change is now tomorrow, but OH WELL!!

Catch you all later this evening!

Anne

Hello all,

I'm back from my trip. Hope you all had a good week. I'll have to go back and catch up on the old thread.

Well, I didn't follow through on any of my plans. I brought the book, but didn't open it once. Brought my laptop, but never checked in here. Didn't read my AR cards, didn't follow any of the steps I'd done so far. Alas, it was a lost week. I did have a great trip though. I'll just jump right back in where I was before I left. Today I'll review the first 12 steps and start step 13, overcome cravings.

Anne - have a great nap!

Bill - your lunches for the week always sounds great. Enjoy those greens.

had a wonderful couple of days off, yet glad to be back. all that time with el nino is fantastic and stressful at the same time. this morning, all was norman rockwell (thanks, bill!) until i started putting his new boots on. it was hard to tell right from left, and i put the first boot on the wrong foot. as i took it off, the kid started SCREAMING and didn't calm down until i got his foot booted again (not easy since he was kicking.) i guess he thought i was teasing him, since he's been excited about wearing these boots since we bought them last week. holy moly - the mood swings are intense. he got very upset at DH scratching my back. pushed him away with one word - "mine." ladies and gentleman, we have officially entered the terrible twos! on the plus side, he's super lovey, very verbal (haven't quite decided if this is good or bad) and generally has a pretty good time. he happily ate an entire can of green beans yesterday (straight from the can. yick.)

trying to figure out what's going to happen to our vacation. we still haven't heard back from our tour company - apparently they did lose someone on the tour to the gunfight. it's horrifying. my mom thinks they'll run it and re-route around mumbai. i'm not sure that i'd want to go anyway at this point. it would be hard to relax and enjoy, wkim?

glad to be back on my routine, too. if i spent more days at home with the kid, i'd get it together so i could work out there. as it is, it's much easier to get my exercise in at work. there's a rec center in kettering that's super cheap and very close that i might join, but that assumes childcare there, or negotiating with DH. i'm going to hold off until after the holidays. it may not be worth it.

still losing! i'm officially down to 171.5, closing in on the 160s. unbelievable. 1 1/2 lbs to my next charm!

anne, hope you get some rest!!! days like that are TOUGH. bill, in agreement with olive. sounds yummy! and olive, hop on board. no worries!

cheers all!

Good Morning

Bill~ Kudos for your lunch planning! This has me wondering what everyone else is bringing for lunches. The first time I had collard greens was when I moved to buffalo and my husband took me to a real BBQ joint. Unfortunately now, that's the only way I like them cooked

So what does everyone bring for lunches?

Anne~ oh how wonderful that you can slip a nap in this morning!! Enjoy!

Olive~ Kudos for getting right back to it. Im glad you had a nice little holiday.

This was a particularly difficult weekend for me. Lots of self realization, lots of feeling sorry for myself, and an epiphany. We need a smiley that pats itself on the back!! Im in a better place this morning and feeling like the 100+lbs I need to loose isnt really the problem, it's me and my attitude. I plan to take off early today, go home and redo my beck cards, get some grocery shopping done, and clean up.........things need to be put in order.

With tv being upstairs now, with the treadmill...this is posing a problem. I dont want to walk when hubby or dd is in there because it makes too much noise. I dont like walking in the early morning because I just dont get the workout I get later in the day or evening. Simply because Im not awake yet.

Getting the treadmill set up someplace else in the house is one of the first things that needs to be put in order.

December 1st is a brand new day I plan to make the most of it

Have a great day everyone!

Hi all you wonderful "THIN-kers"!

My book finally came in at Barnes & Nobles....or should I say I was finally able to swing by and buy it! Woo-hoo!

After my Thanksgiving melt-down, I believe it came right on time....I can't wait to get started....over this long week-end, I noticed that I do have self-sabotaging thoughts and I am excited to learn new strategies....I am afraid to step on the scale to see the damage I've done...eeek.....but I did notice that official "weighing in" does not occur til a little later on....good for me!...I can live in denial a bit longer.....as I definitely need some coping strategies to not beat myself up and give up!

Well, it's official....I am starting today!

God speed,
thinkerbell

Diet Coaches: I'm struggling. My mom is here visiting and that's tough on so many levels. Whenever I'm doing well with weight loss, food issues, etc. I feel guilty as if I'm leaving her behind on the "other side". She's always talking about trying to lose weight, eating better, etc. But my WHOLE life she's been doing that and I have this great fear of turning into her. I don't want to share my experience/success with anyone right now (kind of feel like it jinxes me) and I definitely don't want to talk to her about any of it. She's constantly making comments about what she has/hasn't been eating and I don't say anything whenever she does this-- I just cringe on the inside. The other day I told her that I have a hard time with hearing her talk about food, etc. and asked her not to anymore. I was very proud of myself for doing that

My brother passed away this past September, and this is the first time I've seen my mom since his funeral. She's not doing so great with it (understandably) which also makes it difficult to be around her. She also drives me crazy (and my kids a lot) in general and many of her annoying habits that had gotten better are now back in full force since my brother's death. Then there's just the difficulty of having someone around me, talking, etc. ALL the time! She's always in my space, never goes off on her own or even up to her bedroom. Always up late, watching tv, etc. ARGGHHH! It's just making it very difficult for me to concentrate on me.

I did finally make my new ARC and printed them out on the little business size cards and put them on a ring. I've been doing okay with food and exercise which is good I haven't been able to concentrate on even the first week's topics, let alone moving forward. So, that is where I am.

Bill I just made greens for the first time this summer! I bought a bunch at a local farmers' market and the farmer gave me a yummy recipe. I keep forgetting which kind I bought though, I think it was kale (that's pretty mild right?) Since then I've made mustard greens (didn't like those, too bitter) and collard greens (also a little bitter, but not too bad.) The recipe is really yummy-- onion, olive oil, a can of beans (black, kidney, pinto) and some balsamic vinegar. I just steam the greens on the stove. What way of preparing them takes 45 minutes?

Anne Glad to hear DS is doing better and I hope you got a great nap in! Please don't beat yourself up about the nursing thing-- I think you are doing a fantastic job!

Olive Welcome back! No worries, I've been around and working the program and I'm still only concentrating on the first week Glad to hear you had a good trip. Oh and I think practicing "oh well" would be perfect for this past week. It's helped me keep some minor set-backs or poor decisions in perspective where in the past those could very well set me in a tail-spin.


Jeanie Glad you enjoyed your time with the little one. Do I dare tell you that from my experience (and most other people I speak with), the Terrible Twos really aren't anything? Three is HARD! (Okay, where's the duck and run smiley?)

I totally get you on the whole trip thing, I wouldn't want to be anywhere near India-- how sad. I hope it all works out okay for you and your mom.

I've been contemplating joining a gym too, but I'm holding off for now.
Congrats on your weight loss-- very happy for you!


Robin
Yeah for epiphanies! I usually bring some kind of frozen meal for lunch:
Healthy Choice, Lean Cuisine, South Beach or Kashi are my usual choices.

Good for you for getting back on track! There is definitely something motivating about a new month on a Monday


Thinkerbell Yeah for getting the book! I'm currently still using my library copy of the book, but I'm looking forward to buying my own copy soon and marking it up with highlighters, etc. I would also like to get the workbook at some point too.

See what I said to Jeanie about December 1st and Monday-- great day to start

Have a good night everyone!

Diet coaches Today I'm reporting on Day 27 and 28. Day 27 is Master the Seven Question Technique. I analyze my sabotaging thoughts about 80 different ways, using everything from logic to observation to humor and even the occasional good natured self-mockery--see the Homer Simpson thing at the end of last month's thread. The one rule I have is not to beat myself up, and I usually manage to follow that. Usually. Day 28 is Get Ready to Weigh In. Since I do this pretty much daily and record it in my spreadsheet if the weigh-in fits certain parameters (same time of day, same clothing, no atypical eating, sickness or prolonged exercise/race the day before).

Confession: I have two reminder emails to read my ARC, and I only get it once a day. I suppose I should start reading. I could read the words, but not so much into feeling it today. Hmmm. And there's the should word, which means...

Sabotaging thought: I don't want to read my ARC card. Response: I've spent longer messing avoiding it than it would take to just read the card. It can't possibly hurt, and it could help.

Ok, card read. Not so bad. I don't think that matches any of the thinking errors. Just brain lock.

Sigh. Plan for tomorrow, since I'm feeling so unmotivated to do anything right now. I'm going to pack my lunch & snacks for tomorrow. I'm going to pack my gym bag. Tomorrow, I'm going to get up, cry, and then get on with it. Slob around on the internet for a bit, change the oil (opens at 7), then go to work. After work, I'm going to the Y, get my photo card made, do the elliptical for about 30 minutes or until I cry again, and figure out any sort of strength training plan (since I realized my NRLW is off limits until next Wednesday due to foot issues). Shower, return stuff to Target, pick up children. Home, play, nurse, make dinner, eat, baths, bedtimes, and then I get to sit down and breathe, if DS doesn't wig out again. Ah, I see, I'm feeling overwhelmed and I just don't want to have to do another d@mn thing. That's why I don't want to read my cards. If I do one more thing, I'm gonna go absolutely nuts. That is exaggeration and negative fortune telling.

If I keep whining publicly, I'll soon reach enlightenment! When I was in grad school my text editor had a mode where it acted like a psychologist. Emacs. Anybody else remember?

Posting before it vanishes! BRB with personals.

Anne

Bill I never did develop a taste for greens of any sort, and even spinach is sort of problematic, unless it is raw and in salad form. You have my admiration and respect for eating them.

Olive2 I think you need to give yourself a great big credit for coming back to BDS and here after your break. That is a BIG thing.

Jeanie Ouch on the terrible twos. We just got past that, and have moved happily into the funk that is substituting for sibling rivalry. I love the boot story though! Of course, that could easily be my morning tomorrow.

RobinW Congrats on your epiphany! I hope you get your treadmill thing figured out. Maybe you could ask your family if it bothers them or if they can work around it somehow? Maybe it isn't a problem?

thinkerbell I'm not sure the first step is the hardest, but it is hard. Good for you for starting.

Kim sounds like you are dealing with your mother in a very positive way, even if it is difficult and uncomfortable for you. It is ok to wait til your visit is over to move on, if that works out better.

My nap was kind of lousy--I had trouble getting to sleep, and after about 20 minutes, I had a nightmare (banged head, bleeding children) and got up.

OK. Two more questions for anyone (including lurkers) who may know:

1) Anybody have any experience with FitLinxx? My Y has it and it looks interesting.

2) Anybody have any experience with Martha Beck's The Four Day Win? I'm reading it, and find it has some interesting ideas, but I'm not convinced that the four day concept is really real, having failed spectacularly at that sort of thing in the past. It also is a book to "fix" me, but as Bill said in an earlier thread, I don't feel like I'm broken. However, that doesn't mean that I can't pick and choose some of the better ideas from it.

Anne

My end of the day report....

I got out of the shop by 1pm, but forgot to eat my lunch before I left. So that meant making smart choices when I was hungry. I headed over to the book store, because I was on a mission. I found a book called "Why Can't I Stop Eating" ....ordered a grande coffee, and sat down to have a look see if this was the book I needed to accompany my Dr. Beck teachings. Yes......I think it just might be. I'll let you know.

Then I did some running around, picked up more protein powder, eggs, toothpaste and moisturizer. By the time I got home it was time to start supper. Then I managed to drag hubby off to the apple store to get some questions answered, and he actually helped me with some christmas shopping for his grandkids!! YAH!

Ok....so I didnt get alot done around the house. BUT, I managed to get the dining room table cleared of the clutter! Yah me! I plan to stay home tomorrow from the shop and get everything done tomorrow that I wanted to get done today.

Progress!!!!!!

Good night

Diet Coaches - Good planning: I did make it to the gym on Sunday and, indeed, Monday was so tight it would have been impossible. CREDIT moi. My collard greens were tasty, which is good since that's for lunch again today. Thanks for the reminder, Anne, that it's a gift to like greens (and many vegetables). What we like, just as what we believe, seems to me to be a gift that isn't easily altered.

Jeanie (kuhljeanie) - Congrats on the continued weight loss. Kudos to el nino for eating green beans - that's a good start kido toward a healthy eating life. LOL at "mine." Clear. Terse. Definitive. The kid might write like Ernest Hemingway. Good luck with your vacation plans; I shudder when I think of how close you were to being at the Taj Mahal. Sunday I spoke with a guy with fond memories of the many times he's stayed there and the several grand weddings he's attended there. Just read this morning that it will be several years before it reopens.

Robin (RobinW) - Yep, the proper way to cook greens is with ample pork fat. That's the way we had them as kids. Big Kudos on your "epiphany." Now that's marching forward. And Kudos for clearing the dining room table, I know how easy it is for that to attract stuff.

angelmoma210 - Waving. Sending supportive thoughts for the saga.

Anne (wndranne) - Yah that DS is fine. Heart pounds that you fondly recall Emacs - now there's an editor that needed to go on a diet, LOL. But it could do anything. Kudos for marching forward into day 27 Master the Seven Question Technique. Did you solve a problem with that? I only used it once, thought it was the greatest idea ever, but haven't incorporated it into my regular thinking. Perhaps, LOL, I need to use the Seven Question Technique to figure out why I don't use it more often.

I understand that "I'm gonna go absolutely nuts" is indeed "exaggeration and negative fortune telling." Good demo there of Thinking Errors. But also a good reminder to me that exaggeration might be sitting on a real situation, e.g. you really are facing a busy life right now. Kudos for continuing to charge forward with nursing and working and mothering and wife-ing as well as planning for eating and exercising.

Kim (bennyhannamama) - Sending warm sympathies for the recent loss of your brother. That's a tough one

Ouch for the reality of your mother so full time in your face. Kudos for keeping sane one day at a time with that.

Yep, that's the order of bitterness: spinach, kale, mustard greens, collard greens. Your recipe sounds good, think I'll try it. I steamed the collard greens on the stove top; you'll find that they take 45 minutes to tame them. Methinks the time increases from spinach to collards.

Olive (Olive2) - Welcome back from your trip and welcome to jumping right back on board. LOL at lugging a book for a week that remains unread. BTDT many times myself.

thinkerbell - Kudos for already recognizing Sabotaging Thoughts. Welcome aboard getting started. As you can read, there are several people on the early days - so you have good company.


Readers -

Good morning!

I am wondering how you'all are able to respond and remember everyone's posts so thoughtfully....I am quite impressed by this and I must admit it may take me a bit to get the hang of it. Do you write it down as you read and then type a post? It's a little mind-boggling on you are able to do this....but it is something that makes this thread very warm and welcoming and supportive. Good job!

How many advantages do you'all have on your ARC's? I fear I may have over-done it with 25 reasons....should I whittle it down? or am I on target?

Bennyhannamama~ I didn't even realize it was the 1st and a Monday! Thanks for pointing that out.....feels like a good sign! Good for you to ask for what you needed and setting a limit and boundary around talking about food with your mom. Kudos you! It also sounds as if you have alot of awareness surrounding all that's going on....hang in there and hold on.....this too shall pass.


Anne~ wow! you have awesome awareness....I really admire that! and such a busy day.....I can see why you don't want to add another "to do".....hmmm, how do your cards make you feel after you read them?


Anne~ I did the CD set of the 4 Day Win......I remember liking it as it was a very gentle appoach but I don't really remember much else.....I guess it didn't stick with me. I passed it off to someone who was "sick" of always dieting....and never got it back nor did I get any feedback back. One thing I remember liking was her Plan A-B-C-D for exercize....Plan D was for when you are sick or life is very chaotic and it included "fidgeting!"

Thinkerbell aka Andrea

Robin ~ I know what you mean about clearing the dining room table! When it is uncluttered it feels so much better...kinda like having no dishes in the sink or the bed made.....my dining room table is a hot spot for "dumping" ...little things mean alot! Kudos you!

Bill ~ it is a gift to like veggies! and some I know love exercize....I did not get that gift naturally but I am working on it! BTW, thanks again for the warm welcome and keeping this thread active and alive....I think I just got the hang of the individualized responese by using the quick response so I can refer back to the posts.....it is something very special about this thread. Good job!

God speed!
thinkerbell aka Andrea

Diet coaches Today I weighed in and I'm exactly where I was last week, which is down 3 lbs. I was prepared for this because 3 lbs is a big number for a week, I'm now nursing part-time so my caloric needs are a bit lower and my food intake has remained about the same, and I'm a little sore from biking on Sunday which causes swelling and water retention. I'd like to shave off a 100 or so junky calories from my diet, and I think I can make some (relatively) painless adjustments. I like to eat two of everything small, like 2 cookies or 2 dark chocolate squares. There is just no reason for that, other than habit, and I can still have my cookie (singular) and eat it too. ...Trying not to overthink the fact that Bill comes and talks about greens and I come and talk about cookies...

Today I'll do Day 29 Resisting Food Pushers, and I think it might have some tips. I've never had a major issue with this one, since I'm a relatively straightforward person when it comes to that kind of thing, and the second time I say no, well, frankly there are a lot of people who don't like me a whole lot since I have a limited amount of tact and use it sparingly. BDS doesn't deal with pushed food that is resistible in and of itself (usually of the non-chocolate variety) and there are a whole slew of techniques for dealing with that, including cutting it up and pushing it around, taking a single bite and "losing" the plate at a party, etc, etc. The trick is knowing what is resistible and what isn't.

I need to be sort of careful at my workout today--my knee is bothering me after the hilly ride on Sunday. I could throw my swimming suit in my bag so I have a back-up workout. Maybe I'll do that. I don't want to, but I'm not committing to it or anything....Hmmm. Done. Options are always good.

RobinW Nice work on making smart choices while hungry! I must admit I always have a hard time doing that. Let us know how the book is! It must feel great to have the table decluttered.

Bill Enjoy your greens today! Thanks for the observation that I'm really in a tough situation with the kids, and work, and and and. That is true. But, I have a tendency sometimes to look at all the small tasks to do and get overwhelmed. If I can focus on one task at a time, I do much better, or if I can step back and look at the big picture and eliminate some small tasks (who really cares if I vacuum tomorrow instead of today, as long as it gets done before MIL comes). I made a to do list today, all very manageable tasks, some marked optional. Now if I can only find where I put it...LOL on you remembering emacs! While it was a step up from vi, it wasn't nearly as bloated as, say, Word is. I believe it is still around.

thinkerbell/Andrea Thanks for your thoughts on The Four Day Win. I think I like the meditative aspects of it. Step back, breathe, and be the Watcher. I'm not convinced by the 4 day thing, and one section I was reading last night says you need 5 linked 4 day wins to make it really stick. 5 x 4 is 20, of course, but that wouldn't sell a book, because if you had to do something for 20 days, that might be hard.

I probably have about 15 things on my ARC. I would think 100 would be fine, if they were all meaningful to you.

I do my responses by hitting the [Go Advanced] button at the bottom of the page to reply, and then as I type each response, I scroll down and reread what everyone wrote, since I have a 30 sec attention span and no short term memory to speak of. As long as I don't go more than a day or two, usually everyone's responses will be on the same screen, and if it goes longer than that, well, I've got bigger problems, and you all get a fly-by.

Have a good one, everyone.

Anne