Hey Ladies,

We're not going to let this thread die! Even if it's just the 3 of us, it's still a thread as long as we keep posting.

Well, I just wanted to check in and say something. Keep hanging in there, you two. We'll beback at it full force soon.

Do you want to take the book one chapter at a time and work it from the beginning again? I could use it.

L

Hey Beck buddies,

I agree with you L to re-work the book-have not been using the book much lately. I feel successful up to lesson # 8. Where does the time go?
I only work out of the home occasionally. I should not have a time problem-actually it feels more like an energy problem. Someday I think I whine the time away. My arthritis has been unusually painful and I find walking uncomfortable. Still I could swim every day and I don't have "time"- I am sort in an emotional slump-being frugal both calorically and financially-plus constant discomfort in my joints I have started adding an extra 200-300 cal a day. I have regained an 1/2 lb and really want to stop that trend.

Most of my working career has been in human services jobs-teaching and social worker. I understand how stressed you two can become-jobs where there is a hugh need for services, little money to meet the needs and lower salaries. I remember being very stressed at time, but now I hate being so underemployed.

take care of yourselves
sue

Hi Sue and Liannie,

I'm on Day 19...haven't gotten further than that. I have done and repeated several lessons up till now, so I think if you guys rework the book, I'll join you when you are on day 19. I'd enjoy reading your notes, tho, as you do it.

I have truly gotten stuck @ day 15, following the food plan. I now shop, I now make my week meal plan, I read it and prep it, but then I don't follow it. I still read my cards every day but I wonder if it's ever going to sink in. I wonder if I'm one of the ones who can't do it on my own, tho there's no way I can financially swing therapy right now, AND it is so hard to find a decent therapist. I think they tend to be as messed up or more than their patients.

Sue, sorry to hear about the continued joint pain. This week I've had to fight w/myself to exercise, too. I think Im going to have to change my routine. Most days I get up, walk to a coffee shop, journal and enjoy coffee, and then go home and get ready for the day.

I think I'm going to have to start exercising in the mornings....otherwise I start debating myself, and I hate that feeling of fighting with myself, talking myself out of doing it even though I know I SHOULD.

So my next mini goal is to get up 3 days in a row and walk. Once I do it a few days, it'll get easier. I need to roll out of bed and just do it. I can't let my mind start talking me out of it. I remember when I used to exercise in the morning, and it's so great to just get it out of the way.

talk with you all soon
girly

HI Girly and Liannie

Ok girly I am going to use my exercise bike today!! Just finished cleaning the place, got company coming for a couple of days. Need to go to the grocery store and then I am going to do some time bike or else. I am on the hunt for low-cal and low carb snacks to serve with drinks.-martinis in flamingo glasses.

sue

Hey Everybody,

Good to see you are both still here! I'm finally moved in the new house and SO TIRED it's unbelievable.

It looks like exercise is an issue for us all right now. I know how you both feel--setting up exercise plans and then talking yourself out of it. I've done that so many times! I haven't exercised in almost 2 weeks now due to the packing and moving but I'm going to make myself get started again tomorrow, even if it's just doing some walk-run intervals outdoors, because STARTING is the key. Once you're on a roll, it's not as hard to keep it going as it is to get it started.

How has eating been going for you two? Sue, I hope you found some nice martini-friend low-carb appetizers. Girly, I hope you've found ways to stay closer to plan. I've pretty much fallen apart due to sheer exhaustion making it impossible to eat diet-sized portions.

As far as where to restart the book....I can't actually find the book right now because it's in a box somewhere. But we could restart at Day 8 if one of you would give me a recap or we could just restart at Day 1. Just let me know. I'll be checking in every day now.

I'm so anxious to get back on track!

L

Hi friends,

I got up and exercised. Didn't even let myself think about it--worked like a charm. It's 6:50 and I'm home, finished, nice and sweaty.

Yesterday I was trying to figure out where I left off in the book....I still haven't gone thru the whole book. I stopped at day 20, which is *get back on track.*

The day that I really hadn't absorbed was day 16. I think that I still didn't want to accept that I have to make a plan and follow it. Here are some things I highlighted yesterday:

*The internal argument can create tension, which is emotionally and physically uncomfortable.
*Just as deciding to eat can reduce tension, so can deciding *not* to eat.
*Firmly saying, NO CHOICE, decreases both the struggle and the discomfort.

I don't even like the "NO CHOICE" card b/c it makes me uncomfortable. I don't want that no choice idea to seep into my life in other areas, b/c we all have choice about everything, and I don't want to lose my power by saying no choice. But if I keep the idea in regards to food for right now, then I can deal with it. I'm choosing to have NO CHOICE in following the food plan that I CHOSE. I have less resistance to that. If I think of NO CHOICE as I'M COMMITTED, then it also feels better.

Liannie, Day 8 was "Create Time and Energy" (...I have underlined *It all takes fortitude and mental energy, especially if and when sabotaging thoughts get in the way.*) Day 1 is *Record the Advantages of Losing weight.*

girly

Hey Girly (and Sue...wherever you are)!

Sorry I didn't get to post yesterday; it got so busy here unpacking that when I finally finished I was too exhausted to sit at the computer.

Girly, GOOD FOR YOU getting the exercise over and one with early before you could talk yourself out of it. It really makes you feel good once you do it, doesn't it?

The "internal tension" and its resultant "discomfort"...this is what I've never totally conquered. When it's an ordinary day and I'm craving something, I can get past it most of the time. When I'm tired, mentally debilitated (usually because of my stupid job) or somehow otherwise miserable, I just don't always have the strength to fight myself. I end up giving in and then the tension is released. Temporarily. Until new and different tension is created by my feelings of regret, self-recrimination, disgust, and on and on.

I did make a NO CHOICE card and I remember using it from time to time. Honestly, I don't know where it is right now but I think I need to make another.

As far as "creating time and energy", I have made a plan for the week with menus and a shopping list. I will be going to the store in the morning. It is my goal to "get back on track" this week and stay there, now that moving mania is over.

The "advantages of losing weight" seem to evolve over time. As of today, the advantages seem like:
*less back, knee and foot pain when standing and working for long hours,
*less psychic pain when I have finally gained sense of self control, and
*freedom from the inner conflict that comes from feeling like a victim of my own out-of-control eating and all the damage it has done to my mind and body.

What are your advantages right now, today?

L

HI Liannie and Girly,

thanks heaven you both are here. I have had 3 days of debauchery (of food and drink) My cravings are way up, but the rest of my body is begging me to stop eating/drinking all this stuff. Today I ran around eating crap because I was not recording anything again until tomarrow. So it is good-bye to mindless eating and hello fitday again. Tomarrow it is back to menu planning and recording all the food.

My friend was a good sport and did go swimming for about an hour with me, but got so sun burned-even with sun screen. I really want to swim 5 times this up coming week. Why i don't do this is utter stupidity. It helps my joints, burns cals and acts like an antidepressant. Don't know what stuff becomes so "important" that I "forget" to swim or don't have the "time" to do it.

Girly real power to you for doing exercising 1st thing. L really understand working and moving being so time consumming. I sure you will get back on schedule again. I have no good excuses.-just laziness-with a manana attitude.

The tension factor. It is a very common feeling for me. Right now I feel tense while dieting but actually more tense and bloated when over eating. I think that is the nature of changing addictive habits, I get so tired of being making all the changes-the constant recording of each bit of food, all the home cooking to insure low cal meals, limited choices of food in order to keep the cal count lower. But when I eat with abandonment now I feel the tension of feeling very unhealthy. Plus I know that not only do I regain some weight, I am reinforcing habits which will make tomarrow harder. So not only does the behavior get me fatter, it make my brain more pig headed.-literally.

One of the hardest things in my life-joint pain becomes a daily reminder to lose weight. Thus the all time biggest advantage for me is to increase mobility and stamina. Also I feel more self confident when food is in control. I truly believe I pay more attention to myself-(feelings, mind) , others and environment than when I am absentmindly trolling around for some food or drink all the time. I feel much more alert and in control when eating wisely.

G- I like your I'm committed idea and understand your thinking. I am very committed to to staying at 1500-1600 cal a day. I do make changes during the day such as -less corn and maybe 2 more ozs of wine or no wine and 2 peaches another.

Hope you guys can hear the splash when I make the pool tomarrow.
sue

HI guys,

I did swim for 50 minutes today. I did much head whinning prior to setting off. There is a wonderful gaudy candle holder for $10.00. I will buy it next weekend if I swim at least 5 times during this week.
sue
P.S, The ticker is a bit wrong due to the current gain, but I have high hopes that it soon will be accurate again.

Yes, yes, yes!

My advantages are to numerous to write (I just accidentally typed numberous and that seems like just as fine a word as numerous)

The inner conflict is really big for me, so I'd put that as my most important one right now. I'm starting to read 4-day Win by Beck. It's really good, but it seems to contradict the Beck Diet Solution a bit. Right now I'm rereading the part about the inner adult and the inner wild animal. The inner disciplinarian tries to control the inner wild animal part of our brains, ourselves, and the inner wild animal runs away and refuses to do what the inner authority figure wants. The more we try to control it with diets, and the longer we've tried to control it with rules and restriction, the more it rebels and fights.

This feels exactly right. I make these frickin' plans and I almost never stick with them in regards to food. I'm so tired of this. I'm hoping the exercises in the book to help create peace in your mind will help. She said it helped her, and that when she first opened the fridge in preparation for a battle to eat everything in sight, the first time she didn't have that fight after working with the inner wild part of herself, that she was completely amazed.

Sue, that's big! Congrats on the swimming and you go for that gaudy candle

I got up and exercised Fri, Sat, and Sun. Each day I actually felt good doing a bit more. Today I also exercised with my mom when I went to see her; exercise for her and more strolling for me, but still another 40 min of walking. did more spontaneous exercise too--returned the grocery shopping cart, parked far 2 times.

Wouldn't it be nice if this got MUCH easier for us? Wouldn't it be nice if this became second nature? Wouldn't it be nice if this time next year we were feeling great in our bodies and at peace with ourselves?

Good Morning Ladies

A 12 hour workday looms but I wanted to send a shout out. Today is a day of restarting for me (and Sue, right?) And this time we will not be defeated easily! Girly, I've heard other people praise that book. I'll have to look for it. There is a wild animal inside me! It's always hungry!

More later,
L

Howdy you two,

Liannie, I used be the staffing person for a hospital and had a 10 hour day, 12hr day is a heck of alot. Are you on your feet the entire time? Is it one crisis after another?

Girly-new book sounds interesting. May take me a bit of time to get a copy but if you folks want to include it in our discussion it is fine with me. I have sort of lost focus dealing with each chapter of this Beck book-thinking like a thin person. Got the idea that the Martha Beck book also deal with changing habits and the brain responses. Alot of this info fits my interest in meditating. We can make such suffering for ourselves by feeding our negative emotions by a internal dialogue. This current brain research is exciting that our brain are capable of great changes at any age. Some of the first studies were done years of ago with people who consistently meditiated. Thier compassion areas of the brain were larger. They were content people.
I have a continuous harsh dialogue going on to my self-I "should be" faster, thinner, smarter, nicer, do more each day, keep things neater, read more, earn more, ect. I am never just fine. Food has played a significant role to temporarily calm these negative voices. I want to change this dialogue, not temporarily bury it with sweets.

So now I have taken an emotional needs and created a physical habit. This powerful stuff to have to change. The Thinking like a thin person really address the physical habit but often I rmust wrestle the emotional aspects and here I need much help.

I did record food yesterday and swam for 50 minutes, I did lose 1 lb of the 5 lb gain. OnWard.

sue

Just a quick shout out to say Today's Lesson: Hunger Tolerance. Being back on plan after almost 2 weeks of free-roaming eating means being hungry!

L

Hey All,

First of all, CONGRATS TO YOU GIRLY for continuing the exercise and to SUE for staying on plan yesterday and swimming again! I think it would be WONDERFUL if this time next year we were all smiling and happy in our bodies with healthy lifestyles. I'm definitely committed to working on it until then.

I think I will order the Martha Beck book so that we can cover those topics here together. Sue, you bring up good points. That negative inner dialogue is hard to fight against. I don't understand how I morphed from being so hopeful to being so critical--of myself, of life, of pretty much everything. Burying those feelings with food is not the answer! You are so right about that.

BTW, there *is* one crisis after another at my job and generally not within my control to prevent. That's why I'm planning to look for a new job after the first of the year. I don't like the last minute scrambling, especially when I see it could have been avoided if others planned better. It just makes me stressed out and resentful and those feelings make me want to eat. But that's just one facet of the situation. The problem is not with chaotic management on my job. Lots of people can deal with that and not overeat. The problem is my brain. But until I can change my brain, its easier to look for a new job.

Well, here's hoping today is another day of success for each of us. I'll check back later today to see how you're doing.

L

Hello Liannie and Girly,

Stress was the major factors in my 2 periods of large weight gains. About 20 yrs ago I remarried- had 4 rebellous teens all at once, got laid off from my job, studied to get 3 teaching credential, and worked part time. The last period was 9 yrs ago when I had a horrible job-even managed to get mono while balancing all the crazy factors. I understand your idea that it is not the stress by itself but how we deal with it. I put too much energy in not being angry, crabby and strive to be very accommodating. I have a tough time being assertive about when stressed. That is when I use the Oh Well method on the surface but continue to seethe inside.

I bet the core of so many addictive behaviors is inner conflict. I also would love to have a healhy life style without the long daily check list of "good" behaviors which must be done. I get so tired of the constant diligency not to over eat. It is like I can not relax and also stay on the diet. Add a martini, good conversaton and some nearby snacks and I am overeating. I see the favored ice cream store(luckly 1 1/2 hrs away)-the only question in my mind was what flavor to get -Now it is what are the cals? what else do I give up that day? Is it "right" to be implusive? I find it tiresome. All this hyper alertiness about food has to pass with time!! I am hopefully that soon old habits will weaken and the new ones will be much easier. For now thanks for letting me whine, whine and whine.

In a way I don't care if it is hunger, desire or craving-the bottom line it that I can only eat a very limited, measured and nutritious amount of food-period. And I have to keep that idea 24/7. I know it was very unhealthy for me, but I miss that fun "sinful" pleasure of some foods. Told DH I miss the sense of play that I got from some foods,- spontaneous cookies at friends, treats at the coffee house, candy in threater, a spoonful of peanut butter, The trouble was that I needed about 10 of these "fun" moments in a day.

What are some of your struggles in these changes?What you are missing with limiting foods?

much sucess to us all.
Sue