[Reddalice]

Hey everyone, I'm Bite. I'm 20 years old and have been obese for as long as my memory tells me. I've struggled with quick fixes and I am finally ready for the long haul- the life style- the change- and the elevation that comes from being freed from a prison of fat. I'm 230 pounds.

I have a problem with not being able to comprimize with myself. It's all or nothing. I can't just have a BITE of cake, I have to have the whole pan. I'm learning, and it's hard. I want the 24 oz shake, not the 8, and I want the WHOLE pumpkin pie to myself, I don't want to share. Halloween was a good example: I hid the candy bowl from myself, but should I look at it... I'd eat one, and if I ate one I'd eat four or eight snickers and butterfingers. My girlfriend is trying to help by not supporting outtings surrounding food, because we want rewards in life to be beyond the Mexican restraunt. I don't want to treat myself with things that are bad for me, I want to learn to love and treat myself by being healthy. I feel like I have two personalities; one that is irresponsible and destructive... and the other who suffers for it. Sometimes I'll eat terribly and then just snap out of it and go "why did I do that?" She gets the icecream and I get the guilt. Us two are at war with each other, I'd like to find peace, and sooth the inner beast.

I've been with my girlfriend for three years, I have two cats, and one beta fish named goat, I'm also full time college student, and work as a C.N.A. (licensed caregiver). I've started jogging and have a thread in the mini-goals sectiong called Hitting the Ground Running were I am posting progress.

Personality wise, I can be really sarcastic, and very moody- but being active helps me curb my A**hole-ish-ness. I have a lot of love and a lot of passion but an equal amount of anger too. ^-^ I'm a work in progress, you could say, aren't we all?

I'm always looking for friends who need personal support and can give it in return. I love to chat, and I am always in need of friends who know what it's like to being large and not in charge- but working on it. Feel free to message me; I have a myspace page: www.myspace.com/reddalice if you are nosy like I am.

(Thanks for listening/reading! Thanks for having me here with you all!)

[Eiluj]

Welcome, Bite!

I used to keep bettas, but I'd get so upset when they died that I had to take a break after I lost my last one.

And you're definitely right. We're all works-in-progress. I am a construction zone.