hi kahlo.
can i be a buddy?
i, myself, have been looking for a buddy like you. I think we are going through a lot of the same things.
I've been struggling with bulimia for the past 3 1/2 years now. But just within the past few weeks, i've managed to avoid all purging. i almost did it yesturday but i fell asleep. i was mad, but it was a good thing. this is one of the longest periods of time ive gone without purging and i dont want to mess it up. I've still binged though, which i think has contributed to the fact that i've gained about 10 pounds in the last month and a half or so
This has been very hard. I've never felt so incredibly fat in my entire life. But I can't keep hurting myself. Throwing up has had an adverse effect on my singing voice, and it makes my face swell up. those are the 2 main things i hate. I've pretty much come to the conclusion that if getting fatter is the price i have to pay to overcome bulimia, that's something i just have to live with. I've recognized this before, but havent really believed it until now: that it's better to be chubby than bulimic. I'm starting to really learn that this is true. besides the voice and face sweelling and feeling sick, bulimia has also effected me tremendously emotionally. it's been a living ****. i've secluded myself because of it and lied too many times and to too many people. I know I need to change, but I still think about purging everyday. the main irony in this whole thing is that I know i'd be thinner right now if i had never started bulimia in the first place because I would have never gotten used to big binging. that's sabatoged me. the only way i can reach my weight loss goal and maintain it for life, is the healthy, positive way. we've got to lick this thing. let's help eachother. i need help :-P
Need buddy
