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Old 07-16-2004, 12:25 AM   #1  
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Talking Very new, very nervous, very interested in a 'diet buddy'...

My first post, my first step, my first freak out of "what if no one replies?!," "what if everyone has someone to help them already?," "what if no one cares? Then what?" ...

I am overweight. Have been my entire life -- I over-eat, under-exercise and get really depressed and unmotivated sometimes. I think about my situation daily, I mull over it and pace. I'm going to try and take that first step into actually doing something about my weight and emotional state to hopefully better my life, my health and my sanity!

I heard about this website from an eating disorder website and thought 3FC better fit my needs as a heavy girl. I've browsed around and have noticed the overall genuine attitude everyone has. Regardless of if someone is having a bad day and wants to express it, if someone lost a few pounds this week or even that they gave into the screams of "eat me!" that last piece of chocolate cake was yelling at 3am -- the motivation and sincere offers of advice, help and countless shoulders to lean on has really lead me to feel like I've found the right place.

My next step is to hopefully find someone with similar goals with weight loss so that we may share the trials, ups and downs and just have someone there to count on on a 1-on-1 basis as a friend, helper and swift kick in the butt when we need it!

I'm 21 years old, I live in KY and have many many many pounds to lose (like 150). I was just recently diagnosed with PCOS and was surprised and thrilled to see an entire forum page dedicated to the disease! Yay!

I will spare myself some grief of being hounded by lurking aholes and spammers (you meanies ) by not posting my email addy, but if there's a way to exchange them more readily, I'm all for it.

~Tiffanie
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Old 07-16-2004, 12:52 AM   #2  
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Hi Tiffanie!

Glad to be the first to welcome you to the board! Sounds like you have taken a really important first step in getting your life where you want it to be. I know it's difficult to face our reality sometimes and admit when it's time to do good things for ourselves. But here you are! I have met some really great people on this site. I get support, support others, and it helps me stay very focused on a daily basis on what my plan is and what my goals are. I hope it helps you do the same.

Do you have any ideas as to what your plan will be? Food, exercise, couselling? I think it's best not to get overwhelmed. Pick one area of your lifestyle, one habit that you want to change, and take action to improve it. Eat breakfast if you don't. Have more protein at lunch. Take a walk after work. Whatever it is. I think once you succeed with that habit, you will develop more confidence and get excited about taking care of yourself. Just an idea.

I have about 40 lbs. to lose. I think no matter how much or how little, the same principles apply and the same type of struggle ensues. We're all in this together! I'd be more than happy to support you through your journey. I know you can do it!
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Old 07-16-2004, 12:57 AM   #3  
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Hi Tiff
I'm fairly new here myself. I'll be happy to offer you some support, and the occasional kick up the butt! if you need it.
My messengers are available and I see yours are too. So maybe we can get in touch that way.
I really hear you on the overeating/underexercising cry....I really do need motivation some days, and others are the opposite...I can't sit down (although those days are very sparing!!).
Anyways...Look forward to talking to you
Welcome aboard! and Good luck
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Old 07-16-2004, 01:29 AM   #4  
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goofgirl said:

"Do you have any ideas as to what your plan will be? Food, exercise, couselling? I think it's best not to get overwhelmed. Pick one area of your lifestyle, one habit that you want to change, and take action to improve it."

------------------------
My plan... first, I'd like to find a buddy on here so we can back each other up, my main real-life goal is to move out. I still live at home and I have a very unhealthy relationship with my mother. She and I have never gotten along. I am an emotional eater and growing up she would reward me with desserts and encourage eating more. Being raised with those habits I carried them over into adolescents and now, adulthood. Living with her stresses me out, depresses me and down right makes me feel suicidal. She is an interrogator, everything I do or want to do is questioned. "Why do you want to do this, why did you do that?" She goes through my things and always has even as a child. I was never allowed any "secrets," never any friends. I have no social skills now as an adult -- I am an only child, was very rarely permitted contact with other children -- and even then it was rare to find kids who WOULD want to hang out with me in the first place as I was an overweight child. She makes me feel like such a crappy person and that I can't do anything right. She has told me she likes the dog better than me because the dog doesn't talk back. I was told as a child that we never did anything because I wasn't good. Things have gotten physical, I remember once being told I was putting dishes into the dishwasher wrong. I mean really, how can you put dishes into a dishwasher wrong? Everything was face down, they all fit nicely and on the right shelves... it was just because I didn't do it "her way." God, I could go on forever. She just makes me second guess anything and everything and I've become such a timid person and so fearful of "bothering" people and being a nuisance. That is my main situation right now -- I haven't been able to focus on losing weight because I've been too busy eating my emotions and feeling depressed and like I'm nothing and completely deserve to be fat and horrible because I'm worthless.

So... I want to move out first and foremost, I am a vegetarian (although truth be told, I do gobble sweets more than I do veggies & fruit), I want to drink more water (I like water so this should be an easy one), I'd like to start walking and work up to maybe something a little more strenuous. I'm too self-concious to go to a gym so I would mostly be on my own (the point behind needing/wanting a buddy).

Thank You goofgirl and Jiggles for replying to my post! Thank You for allowing me to babble.
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Old 07-16-2004, 02:01 AM   #5  
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I hope you appreciate my honesty here. In order to lose weight you don't need a buddy, you need determination and a plan. Also, losing the weight needs to be your #1 priority. It's nice to have a buddy but I have found support from total strangers online.

If you are too self-conscious to join a gym I would suggest trying Curves. I have never stuck to an excersise program in my life until I tried it. It is easy, you can go at your own pace and it builds muscle.

As a fellow vegetarian I would also suggest Weight Watchers. I do it online and I don't go to meetings. It is still a lot of work and planning but it works well with a vegetarian diet and it allows sweets on a limited basis.

I wish you the best of luck and if I can do anything to help I will.
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Old 07-16-2004, 02:55 PM   #6  
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Hey,
I am kinda new to this too, i've tried tens of thousands of diets and keep gaining. I swear it sucks. But i'm determined to lose the weight and get pregnant. I'm always here with an open ear if you ever want to talk, or need help. I myself have a hard time cuz i have no support in my life. My hubby tries to help, but it's just the fact that i know he thinks i'm fat cuz i eat to much, not cuz of the diet. But i don't eat much, but he's a man i guess. they don't really understand....lol. Anyways, i have about 40 pounds to lose, right now i'm at about 150........ I am trying to nip my problem in the butt, cuz All the females in my family have PCOS and are over 275. So I want to catch it now and keep it down before i have a harder problem losing. I'm here for everyone, if you need to talk or get help just ask.
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Old 07-18-2004, 10:34 AM   #7  
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Hi Tiffanie,

Just checking in to see how things are going. Your life at home sounds very stressful! I know to a certain extent how it feels to have a strained relationship with your parents. And in my experience, moving out hasn't really helped. I've been on my own for 9 years and still sometimes feel like my parents control me, if in no other way but being judgemental about my decisions or not being supportive. It is something you are going to need a lot of strength to overcome, to live your life for yourself, not them. Physical distance is not the only solution to your problem, you also need to be strong enough to cultivate emotional distance from them as well. That can be the hard part. I'm just now starting to do something about that, so I hope maybe my experience will help you now, not 10 years from now.

I also wanted tell you about a book I just finished reading called "The Diet Cure" by Julia Ross. She has extensive experience working in drug rehab facilities and is also director of an eating disorder clinic. The book focuses a lot on biological and physiological reasons we are overweight, such as chemical imbalances, and suggests supplements such as amino acids to correct them, as well as healthy diets for people with different physical sensitivities. Anyway, it's really interesting and I think would be a good read for you if you can find the book. I think there's something to it and just got the supplements yesterday that she recomends. A lot of them focus on helping your self-esteem, increasing seratonin levels, helping combat stress and anxiety, as well has limiting sugar and starch cravings. If they work I think it would make this process a lot easier. Let me know if you check it out. I'd be interested to see what you think.

Anyway, I hope you are moving closer to your goals and that life is going ok for you. Let us know how you are!
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Old 07-18-2004, 04:07 PM   #8  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by adoglovesabone
I hope you appreciate my honesty here. In order to lose weight you don't need a buddy, you need determination and a plan. Also, losing the weight needs to be your #1 priority. It's nice to have a buddy but I have found support from total strangers online.

To adoglovesabone:

I may be new here, but I can read. This particular forum is titled "Buddy Up!" in the "General" section that states it is "For new member introductions, and diet buddy requests!"

Maybe your own personal method of losing weight is different than mine. You may not feel I need a buddy, but *I* don't feel that I need someone to dictate what I need to do to lose weight unless it is a doctor. Suggestions, ideas, words of encouragement and giving someone a heads up with their struggle is more than welcome -- but dictating and making a comment as brazen as "In order to lose weight you don't need a buddy..." in the "Find a buddy" forum on a website called 3 Fat Chicks is simply ridiculous and ill thought out.

You don't know me, my personal situation or beliefs and I find it rude of you to reply to my post as though you are an authority of me and that "I don't need a buddy in order to lose weight." Your telling me that my #1 priority should be to lose the weight is belittling and hateful because you are making the assumption that it isn't my #1 priority to begin with. Why on earth do you think I'm here? To sit and shoot the breeze? Give me a break.

Thank You for taking the time to reply to my post regardless, I'm sure your intentions weren't mean. It would just be nice if you would maybe take a step back and realize that as a new member yourself, you don't have all of the answers and maybe you should learn a little more yourself before you write to someone without the realization that you are affecting their lives negatively with potentially rude comments.

~Tiffanie
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Old 07-18-2004, 04:18 PM   #9  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs.Aguilar
I myself have a hard time cuz i have no support in my life.

{{{{{{{{{Mrs.Aguilar}}}}}}}}} Hopefully you can consider a place like this a form of support in your life?

I appreciate your reply to my post. It is nice to hear from someone in a similar boat. I wish I only had 40lbs to lose! I have 4 times that amount to get off my body. What depresses me the most is how long it's going to take to get that much weight off. Once I start thinking about it it gets me down and I head right for the kitchen. I think it's good of you to be aware of the PCOS in your family and keep an eye out for any problems before they get too bad. I really hope you succeed with losing the weight!!

Thanks again for your reply.

~Tiffanie
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Old 07-18-2004, 05:10 PM   #10  
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Hi there Tiffanie. I'll give you my own opinion based on what you have said so far and that the first step for any kind of well being is to get out of the house!! No, it isn't going to solve all your problems but I think it would be a very good step in the right direction. You are being abused by your mother from what I can tell. You will probably need some counselling to get over what she has done to your self esteem. Just my opinion but anyone who says they love the dog more than their own child has a lot of problems. I don't think you can address other issues such as losing weight until you overcome this problem. This whole issue could be the cause of you being overweight and in my honest opinion you won't be able to commit to losing weight until you can sort out your other problems. Any time you are getting stress from your mother you are just going to head to the cookie jar. (not that I blame you, I've had my own mother issues!) This is just my own opinion and I hope you don't take offense. You are worth a lot more than what your mother gives you credit for so you need to start looking after yourself and that means getting away from the source of your problems. Again it may not solve all the problems but it might help a lot to put some space between you and your mom.

I post regularly in the 100 lbs club. It is a really fantastic supportive group of people and we welcome everyone.
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Old 07-18-2004, 06:06 PM   #11  
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Jen,

Thank You for your reply!! A very kind girl sent me an invitation to check out the 100lb. club and I just finished posting a hello there. It seems like it might be a teeny bit of a better fit for me -- heh -- I was starting to wonder about being here when all I was seeing were posts from people needing to lose 20 or 30lbs (you guys are SO much luckier than you may realize!). :P

Thanks again -- and I hope to see you at the 100lb club forum often.

~Tiff

ps -- no offense taken by your post whatsoever. It's difficult trying to carry out two important feats at the same time (moving from an unhealthy environment AND trying to get started down the weight loss path) and appreciate your input!
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Old 07-18-2004, 06:10 PM   #12  
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Goofgirl,

Hi again and Thank You for posting a 'check-up' for me -- hehe -- I was surprised and delighted to see it. I will definitely look for that book -- it might just be that extra push I may need. Thank You for suggesting it. You seem like a very nice person here at the site, I saw some of your other posts to people and appreciate you taking the time to offer support.

~Tiffanie
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