[sracht]

I can't believe I'm posting here! I am such a private person, this is a huge step for me. I'm laughing at myself for my hang-ups and cringing at the same time LOL.
I recently went to the doc and tipped the scales at 190. I swore I'd never top 180 but here I am, 190 and struggling to fit into the "normal" sizes. The first time I went into Lane Bryant was rough for me. I keep looking at pictures of me (both old, where I'm skinny-ish and new) and I'm ashamed. I don't want to go anywhere anymore, I hate shopping, I'm so self-consious anymore that I don't want to do anything with the kids because I dread wearing uncomfortable ill-fitting clothing.
Exercise is a struggle. I don't really enjoy it, so it's hard to find something that I do like. I have spine problems and keep being told by doctors that the things I enjoy (like biking, walking, and running) are not good for me. Do you ignore the doctors and do the exercise, hoping that the benefits outweigh the costs? Or do you try to struggle through exercise that you hate, trying to find the motivation to go to the gym that day, each and every day?
Healthwise, I'm starting to suffer too. My cholesteral is borderline. My joints hurt and I can feel the toll the extra weight is having. I am having a harder and harder time crossing my legs.
Basically I'm fed up. I'm sick of being fat. I'm ready to say the food isn't worth the weight, but I'm going to need some help with that (I'm a foodie). It is well past time. This weight needs to go!
I'm not quite sure where I fit in here. I don't need to lose 100 lbs, I'm not over 300, and I definitely don't fit in the "I just need to lose a few pounds" category. So it will be interesting where I find my place. But I know that I need encouragement and maybe a buddy (or three!). Especially through the holiday season!
I'm glad I found this site, I hope with a little encouragement I can make the weight loss happen for real this time!

[EagleRiverDee]

Welcome, sracht! First, I love (and laughed) at your height comment (every little bit helps). Love your humor!

There are a ton of places you could fit in. There's support groups by age (20's, 30's, etc) and also "getting out of the..." or "escaping" groups under the weight loss support tab, in your case right now you'd be in the "getting out of the 190's" or "getting out of the 180's" I found those groups to be super helpful to me, everyone is in the same boat with the same goal and sometimes you all move into the next group at the same time, which is fun. Also there are groups based on diet type, so if you decide to do Weight Watchers or Ideal Protein or Low Carb or whatever, there are people here doing that and groups to support you.

Good luck on your journey!