Hello everyone
I am a 47 year old wife and mother who cannot commit to losing weight. I find myself at 241 pounds needing to lose at least 80 for my height.
I have been doing some soul searching recently and finally figured out that I am a commitment phobe to this journey of losing weight and maintaining a healthy lifestyle!
I am a dedicated wife of 29 years, have two grown children however when it comes to taking care of myself I run in the opposite direction. Why is that? I put others before myself, in my family, my community and serving in my spiritual life.
I looked at myself in the mirror for the first time today, I mean REALLY took an in depth look at me! How did I let myself get to this point? I became disgusted, angry, and so ticked at myself that I finally realized today that I cannot go on like this! I'm miserable and lethargic, that's not who I was created to be. Funny thing--obesity runs on my mothers side of the family and I swore to myself I would never let myself get that far out of control, and here I am! UGH I have no one else to blame but myself and admission is the first step in healing, right?
My son is an health nut, gym rat, and takes excellent care of himself! I am glad he took the "good habits" from eating right and exercising to heart! He told me last night he doesn't want me to keel over and die from a massive stroke or heart attack. I have been in denial for the past 15+ years since keeping on the 10-20 pounds of so called "baby weight"!
I am an emotional eater, and lead a sedentary lifestyle in my career and home life. I used to be so active and healthy. Time has been my worst enemy along with anxiety and depression. I am on Celexa and Ambien (I cannot shut my mind off). I am survivor of abuse and have had tremendous healing and making great strides to my emotional well being. I still have a ways to go!
I made a decision to join this forum and support group for accountability, inspiration, and encouragement. It is my hope to reciprocate in the months ahead. I am the queen of excuses so please don't let me off your radar! Pinky promise?
My daughter graduates next spring/summer from HS and my goal is to be able to take a picture of myself that I don't see a double/triple chin and fat hanging down to my mid-drift.
I am hopeful for the first time in over a decade! I am making a covenant with myself today to start this journey fresh, and with a renewed sense of strength and hope. I am counting on this group to help and someday hope to return the favor.
Thank you, (keeping it real)
Adonya
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You'll find lots of support here at 3FC.
