[Persianprincess]

Hi everyone,

I am back to this community under a new name. I lost quite a lot of weight in the last few years only to gain it all back. (Almost, in 30lb I'll be all caught up)

I went through a serious depression, and problems at home with my fiancé (now husband).

I found comfort in food. I have lost all ability or will to work out. And I can't even begin to understand why.

I look at slim/fit pictures of myself and cry, a lot. How could I let myself go like that? How could I make these terrible choices and eat the way I did? I used to be so active and so cheery, now I'm so down on myself that I don't even want to go out by fear of someone I know seeing me.

I had done it the first time with the support of this group and I know I can do it again. I just need help. A lot of help. I feel like a newbie all over again.

All suggestions will help.

I'm 5'5
Weigh 195 lb

My ideal weight is anywhere between 145 to 150 lb.
I know it might not seem like a lot, 45-50 lb is totally attainable, yet it seems darn near impossible to me right now.

Looking forward to meeting you all, and I hope I can find the courage to stick around.

Thank you for hearing me out xoxo

[minnie45]

I know what you mean about 45-50lbs being attainable, but feeling impossible at the same time. Sometimes....If I allow myself to go there, those thoughts start to creep into my mind too.

Here is what I do: I remind myself of the facts. I know the science behind weight loss....burn more calories than you take in.... I use MFP (my Fitness Pal) and have it set to lose 1.5 pounds per week. So, far it's been fairly accurate. I'm able to have 1270 calories per day - per my age and activity level. I count all of my calories and weigh my foods to make sure that the calorie count is accurate. So, I know I'm going to lose between 5 and 6 pounds per month. No foods are off limit. But, I look for ways to fill up and still stay at or under my calorie count. I come to this site for support and use MFP to log and track my food and calories...**Best of all....It's free!

Sometimes I want to just lose it all now. We are bombarded with magazine adds and commercials that say lose 10 pounds in 2 weeks...etc... That kind of weight loss is not healthy or sustainable. I tried it once and started to lose my hair, had baggy skin...etc...and when I stopped, I gained it all back and learned nothing. I don't want any of that. I think of this as more of a lifestyle change not a diet. I don't want to do anything that I'm not ready or willing to live with for the rest of my life.

I remind myself that "slow and steady" is the way to go for me....Although...5-6 pounds per month isn't all that slow, and I realize that as I get closer to my goal, it will be more like 3 to 4 pounds per month and at the end probably 2 or 3 pounds per month. But, that's okay.

I do exercise. I started out practically "killing" myself with workouts. Now, I just do cardio every other day on the treadmill...I usually go for an hour, but I walk...I don't knock myself out running. I'm also trying to get into strength training. Once the weight is all gone, I want to look good, and not simply deflated. So, building some muscle is key to having it all look good. I'm a bit embarrassed by trying weights...I have to admit. My husband was a competitive power lifter when he was in the military, and I won't even ask him for help. I'm starting with dumb-bells in the privacy of my own home..when no one is around of course. I do that a couple times a week. Once I'm feeling more confident, I'm going to hire a personal trainer. I'm going to need to budget for that, but it's a gift I'm going to give to myself. I'm thinking that I can take advantage of the New Year specials early in 2016. Anyhoo....Good luck and welcome! The support I've received here has been priceless. Don't stop....keep going, even if progress is not as fast as you want it to be. Time will move on regardless of what you do...don't waste it.

[CheesecakeBrownie]

Hi Persian... I'm on my way to losing 50 as well, but here's the good news, you will start to feel and look better just after 8 pounds of so... by 10 pounds lost I was down a size...

so take it 10 pounds at a time... you will be encouraged and empowered to keep going when you start noticing your clothes fitting better or your face slimming out or whatever it is. Don't worry about the 50.. start with 10...

by 20 lost you are going to feel amazing!

[EmmaD]

I "only" had around 30 pounds to lose but I have been trying unsuccessfully for 6-8 years. I tended to get depressed about "letting myself go," get overwhelmed by all I had to do and then sit on the couch and binge-eat, wondering why I couldn't get myself together.

A couple of things that helped me this time for sure are:

Check out The Beck Diet Solution by Judith Beck. I found out about it from this forum, I took out a copy from the library and ended up buying it. It has behavioral strategies that work with any diet, so even if you only add a couple of them, it really helps. One thing she recommends is losing weight in FIVE pound intervals.

The other thing I did that finally worked is I committed to a plan for a certain number of months (for me was four). That takes the away the constant second-guessing, anxiety about not losing quickly enough, etc. At the end of that time frame, I am going to re-evaluate and decide if I want to continue, switch strategies or move to maintenance at whatever weight I am at that time. I may have to decide that a higher weight than I used to be is FINE. I don't want to live the whole rest of my life trying to lose 10/15/20 pounds.

A third thing I did was focus on diet first. I know without a doubt that exercise is important and that is the next challenge that I will undertake but for me, it was too much to tackle it all at once. I tended to get overwhelmed and give up. Also, with reference to the previous point, when I start exercising for real, a higher weight may end up being just fine. I am now only about halfway through my weight loss but I would be OK at this weight if I tone up. So that's my next step!

All that being said, I think walking and some stretching/gentle yoga should be non-negotiable and part of daily life. Of course I am terrible about actually doing that.

Best of luck to you, and hopefully some of our suggestions will help


PS I forgot what completely turned things around for me this year. I found a copy of 8 Minutes in the Morning by Jorge Cruz. It has daily readings and 2 simple exercises (plus warmup and stretches) that supposedly take 8 minutes. Totally cheesy, but what worked is it got me jumpstarted on taking a few minutes every morning to think about the plan for my day. I highly recommend setting an alarm for a certain time in the morning (mine was while having coffee) to plan the day... I don't do the simple exercises any more but that planning and daily recommitment helped me immensely to get on track.

[Jacqui_D]

BACK, PersianPrincess! It looks like you've gotten a lot of good advice. This really is the best place for support! I wish you the best!

[stren003]

Welcome back and congratulations on having the courage to re-reach back out for help and support! Losing weight can be such a daunting task, but just knowing others are in the same situation can make you feel less alone. I am in a similar situation as you, and getting back on track now. I look forward to hearing about your successes as you find your way to a healthier, happier you again. Keep up the wonderful work!
Shannon

[Persianprincess]

Thank you all so much for the warm welcome and supporting words. I know I made the right choice in reaching out for support here.

I lost 90lb in the past and it wasn't quite healthy. (No big surprise here when it comes to WHY I gained it back huh:P)

So I'm okay with losing it slowly, I just want to stop gaining.

I'm going to sign up on MFP again, if anyone has a username they want to share with me, we can follow each other's progress.

Thanks so much, I look forward to seeing all your successes as well!!