Yay, a picture! I look forward to putting a face to all the things I've learned about you so far.

Today is Friday and with my new job/position it finally means something! For the last 5 years I've done shift-work, lots of call-ins and overtime, and my department was open 24/7 so weekends didn't mean much of anything. Now working Mon-Fri and having the same schedule as my BF has been wonderful. Today is going very well, so far!

It has taken me a very long time to adjust to gym-life and not worry. It really is true that for the most part (with the exception of my ridiculous bullies, but that was quite a while ago now) everyone else is there for their own reasons and really aren't paying attention to anyone else. I generally go in with a plan, plug in my headphones and keep my head down and just *get it done*. It works, but it's probably not as enjoyable as it could be.

I'm sorry to hear your gym is so far away! But of course, you don't need a gym to exercise! I hope you're able to find some exercise time at home that really works for you.

I hope today is going well for you too!

Well, my friends - Wednesday was an interesting day for me!

I've felt pretty good about my food choices, managing to have breakfast *every day* this week, and getting some extra exercise in. It's a start!

On Wednesday evening my BF up and decided to join one of his good friends (who is also extremely overweight) at the badminton night held at our local community centre. I was surprised, but really, really happy.

You see, about 4 years ago after our second miscarriage and my subsequent gaining of a substantial amount of weight, we had this HUGE discussion which ended in him insisting that we would both get gym memberships and go *together*. It would be a way for us to get healthier, and it would also be something we could/would do together. This was music to my ears. However, after I lined everything up and we started paying for the memberships I could NEVER get him to go. Not once. It was very, very frustrating.

So, I'm hopeful now that if he continues going to badminton each weak with is friend, he may also feel like including going to the gym with me soon. Fingers crossed! I will approach him with it in a few weeks, if he doesn't mention it first.

On Wednesday we also bought a new battery for our fancy scale. (it's supposed to measure body fat% and etc.) I have listed my starting weight as 298 because that was the last time I looked at it - Sometime in late August when we were at a store that had a scale. It is possible that I was a bit higher than that when I started this last week, I don't really know.

What I do know is that for the last 2-3 years I have stayed at the same very high weight. All doctor appointments and random scale usage always showed 282, no matter the time of day or how hard I'd been trying to lose. So, to all of a sudden see nearly 300 on the scale felt like my heart actually broke.

Wednesday night I stepped up and the scale read 290. I don't know how accurate that is in relation to what I started at last week, but I fully admit it was a relief. Not at all 'yay I've lost weight!' but more 'Oh thank all things holy i'm not over 300!'.

We have a little trouble with the scale because our house is either tiles, or carpet, so finding a very flat surface is next to impossible, but I'm glad to have something for a baseline, anyway.

I think I will make Sundays my official weigh in day. If weekly seems like too much by the end of October I'll do every other week. Maybe even monthly! As much as I have to lose *actual weight* I do not want the number on the scale to be my big focus, or the reason for a happy/sad Sunday.

The fit of my clothes, the reduction of skin-related issues, getting rid of the edema in my lower legs, and regulating my TOM so that i'm more likely to ovulate (thanks a lot, PCOS) are all improvements that I know will happen with a healthier lifestyle, even if one week the scale doesn't show much of a loss.

I love reading your posts. You're very open about your life and activities and it brings me a sense of comfortability with you. That's the kind of friendly relationship builds (I believe) struggling people need with each other. I've had a bit to catchup on, I haven't been able to log on for the last day or so.

With PCOS, my doctor decided to do some more blood work on me to see where my hormones are right now (as well as cholesterol and other "fatty factors" that could be contributing to my hardship). Topping that off, I had to have an ultrasound to check my ovaries out and lone behold i have 3 cysts on my left ovary and a larger one on my right . As of now, they look as if they won't do any damage if they rupture but it will be painful (aren't they always). Good news is, my doctor thinks MetForman would be beneficial for weight as well as an attempt to stabilize hormones. Maybe you can talk to the doctor about trying that? Im not sure entirely how it will work on me yet, and everyone is different. Hopefully you have some luck.

Funny you should mention getting all fact with the scales. I decided to go back old school, Bring on the non digital scales!! I had weighed myself using a couple different digitals scales and the weights differed by nearly 5 lbs. i was 284 right after a meal. I am making Saturday mornings my official weigh in days.

As for edema in your legs, you can get compression stockings from a medical supply store to help prevent further swelling and will probably be good to utilize while exercising. Depending on if you have any underlying medical conditions that can cause edema, the change in diet and exercise should help reduce or in general get rid of the fluid pooling. (I work as a nurses aid and I'm a nursing student, sorry for the technicality)

Ahh bless the men in our lives! My husband decided to go on an exercise kick a month ago when I started dieting and exercising, and hes been out on the rower about 6 times and on his bike once! In a month annoys me so much cos hes tiny!! At least he has no problems with me dumping the kids on him so I can go for a walk

Hi Bardess!

I'm also from Ontario!
I hope you get all the support you need on 3FC, it's honestly an incredible community. I can't say I relate to everything you're going through but what I absolutely understand is the lack of support from your environment.
I'm 24 and my mother is also overweight. There is a history of heart disease in our family and we're both concerned by it. My biggest advice is to find motivation on your own and lead by example. It's a really hard thing to do, but I honestly believe that it works. My mom has lost even more weight than I have ever since I've started paying attention to what I eat. I am incredibly proud of her and she motivates me more than anything to lose the weight!

Oh and I also love non-North American tv shows (Korean dramas anyone?? )

Take care!!

Ooh on the random tv show front, Outrageous Fortune from New Zealand is a great one, also Offspring from Australia is awesome

Hi Kelynn! I'm glad you feel comfortable - you're totally right about needing that. I hope you're able to log on more often.

Try not to let all the blood work and cysts with PCOS get you down! I think the metformin idea is a good one to start with. You really have to commit to it, because it takes some time for your body to adjust. I have heard really great stories about it's effectiveness.

I have a meeting with my OB/GYN in a week and a half. I guess we'll see what the plan is then!


Thanks very much for the suggestions with regards to the edema in my lower legs. The biggest problem, really, is that it doesn't LOOK swollen, more just red. Anyway, we're working on it.

Come back again soon!

Oh my gosh - the men annoy me so much! "I'm going to quit drinking pop" (2 weeks later) "Oh, look! I've lost 40 pounds!"

I love that he's doing what he can to encourage your exercise. Yay!


See? Yesss. Love me some NZ and Aussie stuff! I was addicted to Crownies, Winners and Losers and The Almighty Johnson's for a while. My BF used to love the show 'Missing Pieces' where they would track down long lost family members.

Hi Muguet! Yay Ontario!

"Lead by example" is excellent advice. Thank you! This is incredibly important to me because of my son, as well as the rest of my family.

Korean dramas!??! I gotta go look for these! They sound *awesome*.

For all my talk, I'm actually having a really hard time with this scale thing! I didn't think it would matter very much, because I'm not going to weigh myself consistantly and rely on it, really. Apparently I was wrong. Our scale never gives the same information twice, which means I have no idea if I've lost weight or gained it!

Because of my size and the fact that I am simply overweight *everywhere* I don't notice a change for the first 30 pounds or so. And even then it's in my neck, wrists and ankles. Now THAT is disheartening. I feel like I need to know if there has been any improvement at all, and the weight is the only way to know for sure. It's a little frustrating.

HOWEVER! It does not in any way mean that I have given up. I'm frustrated but this is probably a GOOD thing. I don't need a scale to make me feel better about myself, I just need to continue being ME and work hard at the things I wish to improve and I know that one day it will all pay off.

Right?

One month in and I'm beyond frustrated. I'm doing what the nutritionist wants, I'm weighing all food. I've gotten over the sugar-shakes (geez those cravings were rough!). I keep healthy snacks nearby, chew lots of sugar free gum, and temptation foods have not even entered our home (the boys have resorted to chocolate, which is perfect - i'm allergic!) I've fixed my scale issues. I'm drinking lots of water. I'm taking my prescribed medications as well as the vitamins.

This morning the scale says I'm back up to 301. My measurements are very close to the same as a month ago. This has been the problem for years, but I was so sure I just wasn't dedicated enough.

I will continue to stick to this, but when I get in to see the specialist next I know he will refuse to help, because I haven't lost weight. Hello, rock - I'm already in a hard place!

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time losing, Bardess. I know how that feels at times. Even though the scale may not be showing changes or goes up a little all the hard work you're doing IS making a difference in your body whether you can see it or not. Don't give up!

Bardess -- I'm sorry to hear you aren't getting results, because you certainly sound like you are putting in the effort! Don't let it put you off from continuing to make the right choices, one way or the other things will start to change for the better.

Maybe the nutritionist can help you tweak your calorie level or otherwise shake up your plan and get things moving in the right direction!

You have such a great attitude and you are making such positive healthy changes, don't give up! Whatever the challenges you face, you are up to the task!

could we go back and look at one of your earlier posts? the one where you said that you'd be very successful at Atkins? I just want to suggest that you check out the MAINTAINERS forum farther down the list. Of course, you're not ready for it yet, but one of the main things those folks emphasize is that maintaining actually looks a lot like LOSING.

We can't go back to eating the way we did when we were very overweight. No matter how we lost it - calorie counting, carb counting, three meals, 8 meals, high protein, whatever - that's the way we're going to have to live for the rest of our lives.

Just want you to know that it IS possible to lose and keep it off - but sometimes the solution is not what you expect. it's quite possible that the nutritionist will be tweaking your eating plan. At least, i hope so.

Here's hoping you find what works for you!

Hi Bardess!

We have a similar starting weight! So that's neat.

I think everyone around here is right in saying you kind of have to figure out what works for you. That said, I think it's more important to find an eating plan that is sustainable, rather than one that works well at first. Pretty much all the diets out there will make you lose weight, but you need to feel good and be able to keep it up even after you have reached your goal - I think that's the most important thing.

Personally, I'm counting calories and generally following a whole foods diet (All the grains I eat are whole grains, all the dairy products I eat are full fat, and I'm not eating any fake sugars, and am avoiding chemicals by reading labels on the food I buy). I still eat out occasionally (I'm restricting that by restricting my access to money), so I'm not really disallowing myself anything... but I've managed to change my preferences - what I WANT to eat - instead of just changing what I "allow" myself. So far it's going great, and I don't feel hungry very often because whole foods make me feel more full.

The other thing I'm doing is eating enough food that I am only losing weight very slowly (3 lb/month). This way I expect to lose mostly fat and keep most of my lean mass, so it's easier to maintain. Another way I'm maintaining lean mass is by making sure I eat lots of protein (chicken and fish).

Is Atkins something you think you would maintain after getting to your goal weight? Would you keep eating that way forever, even if your family doesn't? If so, it might work for you. I think you just need to figure out how to make it sustainable. But, I don't think it would hurt to try some other methods and see how well they work for you. There are lots of ways to lose weight, I really think it's maintaining that will be the toughest part, and that it's important to have a plan in place for when you get there.

Anyway.

Welcome to the forum and here are all of my best wishes for you!