I am re-starting my weight loss journey!
A little background.
I have battled this many times now. Back in 2009 I seperated from my ex-husband, and I lost over 20lbs. Exercise was the therapy I needed to end the lie that was our marriage. I had gained the weight over the years we were married, as I went to food for comfort all the times he turned me down (for love, sex, comfort, friendship, etc) which was almost all the time.
Being on my own for the first time ever in life proved to quite the adjustment, and I quickly gained that back and then about 20lbs more. I got into a long distance relationship, which looking back now, made me more sad than anything, so I reached for food to comfort me.
In May of 2012 I got on the scale and was the highest I had ever been. It scared me. I started exercising, had lots of support from friends, started counting calories on MFP, and I joined 3FC back in Oct. I was on a roll!
By spring of 2013 I had lost almost 25lbs. I felt amazing. I felt like I could go on and lose 25 more!
That summer, my world was turned upside down when I learned that my mother(who I don't speak to) had lied to me about my biological father/family. Suddenly I went from having no family to a father, stepmother, sister, brothers, nephews, neices, aunts, uncles, grandparents!! It is a blessing I thank God for daily.
It derailed my progress. I spent the first month almost without sleep, not eating, I was an emotional wreck and I just couldn't focus on counting calories! It was all good, so good, but it took my focus off weight loss.
My 4 year long distance relationship also ended(got rid of my old username cause of that, lol) he became angry, there was much drama, then he became deeply depressed, said he wanted to die. Thankfully he did get past that, but it was a very emotional time for me.
By Christmas I had gained back only about 7lbs. I thought I could keep it in check, but it sliped away from me very quickly.
Then, in Jan, I met someone that has changed my life. I was always unsure of love at first sight, but now I know it can happen. Things moved very quickly for us, and now we are living together and both the happiest we have been in many years. He is truly my soulmate, and I thank God for him every day.
BUT...I am now the heaviest I have EVER been!! And it needs to change! Thankfully the BF is totally on board, as he is also the heaviest he has ever been. We might be great together, but not when it comes to food, as we both love it and eat our feelings regularly! lol
So, sorry for the rambling, but all of that has brought me back here! I am feeling that same motivation I did before, and I am happy for that. But I fear how hard it was to lose the weight, and I am scared I wont be able to do it again. I am 244lbs and I want to get to Onderland. But first, I just want to lose 10lbs! I figure that's a good place to start
Gonna try this again!
