[Lacey337]

Hey everyone!!

Wooooooo, first post!

I have been lurking on 3FC for some time now reading the stories and finding inspiration, but have just decided now to join because I need a change. I really do.

I joined because after gaining a few pounds on vacation, I lost 10 pounds in the month of April. I was feeling great, eating right, excercising 3+ hours a day, and feeling great. Then, in the past 2 weeks, I gained 5 of them back. The daily calorie count started to creep up and up a couple hundred at a time, until last night when I binged on 2000+ calories of Doritos, donuts, cereal, and ice cream sandwiches. That's when I realized I couldn't do this alone.

Actually, I've been yo-yo dieting and binging since I started high school. I have a history of disordered eating patterns and a very unhealthy relationship with food. When I'm happy, I don't eat, the pounds just drop away. When I'm depressed, I curl up in bed with something greasy and fried and watch TV all day to feel better. At my lightest in high school, I was 113 lbs. At my heaviest junior year of college, I was 147 (keep in mind that I'm 5'3, with a small frame, so this was quite a lot for me!). Then I dieted and lost 25 lbs that summer. Then I gained it back again. Etc. etc. a seemingly never-ending cycle and I've had enough.

Not this time. This time, it's going to be different. I weighed myself this morning and clocked in at just over 132. I'd like to drop down to around 115, like I was in high school. I know that's not nearly as much to lose as the people on this site who have lost hundreds who I find truly inspirational. I know I'm not overweight, and I'm in pretty good health. So my real goal is to stop these cycles of ED, find a weight I can maintain comfortably, and just be happy with myself.

Every day is a new day. There's a lot I'm still trying to figure out about myself and my body. I'll just try to take it one day at a time.