Welcome water bunny.
Keep a food diary. Its the best way to keep yourself accountable. You don't sound too optimistic right now but I think we can all do better than we did last time. I try to learn from previous experiences and i'm always fine-tuning what i do.
This time I eating along the way of my diet in a way i want to eat for the rest of my life. I am now committed to quitting refined sugars pretty much forever. That was a fairly scary thought not so long ago. And its a thought/idea i've been messing about with for about three years, though this is only the second time i've applied it on a diet.
I think its also worthwhile trying to address the other issues and challenges in your life that seem to always undo all the great work you've done. It could be your routine, stress from work, other people in the house you live in, mental health conditions, general low self-esteem, other physical health issues, lack of access to healthy food.
For me its been mainly depression and my routines - not being very engaged in life. Sometimes its been other people. Sometimes its been injury.
Now my weightloss is dependent on diet and not exercise. Activity but not exercise. Because i find that more sustainable.
Anyway good luck and i hope that in a little while you will start to feel more optimistic.
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