Hello Group! Well, It's time for my backstory:

Hello, my name is Suzanne (I'm called MRSKEVIN here at 3FC). I am a 49 year old recent widow, living in NW Illinois, but originally from the Pacific NW (Portland) which I will be returning to as soon as I'm able to.

My Atkin's program started on Aug 1, 2013. Starting weight was about 224#.

I decided that it is time to take my "big girl pill" and deal with my weight. I have alot of stress in my life, but life must go on, and I have to be healthy enough to do it.

You see, I lost my beloved husband of 15 short years, to kidney cancer Jan 30th of this year. We battled for 5 years and 8 months. It breaks my heart, but my biggest cheerleader in this battle with my weight is now with Our Lord in Heaven, so I am in this alone- and won't use the excuse of his cancer as to why I can't mange to change the way I eat. I know Kevin would say he's so proud of me for doing this and that I have to continue to live, and be healthy.

He was a couragous man of Faith. Never once did he "feel sorry for himself". He never shed a tear over having being diagnosed with stage 4 kidney cancer, in June '07. He reminded me on the night he died (without ANY pain- not because of medication, but the Lord just kept him away from any cancer pain- truely a miracle!) "Suzanne, don't be mad at God. He didn't do this to me. It just happened". Something I will always cherish about him- his Faith and strength. (Truth be told when he was diagnosed 6 years ago, I had a near nervous breakdown- I was a mess- but no tears from Kevin- he just knew it's something he had to fight and live with as best he could...and he did. But my emotional breakdown really broke Kevin's heart to watch me go thru, so he encouraged me by reminding me that "I live with cancer, I AM not "cancer". It doesn't define me as a Man. I happen to have cancer, Suzanne. Just like I have blue eyes- it's just one thing in my life; not who I am as a person")

Also, I am currently in emotional flux with the fact my mother, who lives in NW Washington State, who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's 2.5 years ago, is in hospice care and is dying. I have no financial resources to move closer to her and I'm sick about that. I was able to fly out to WA to see her, along with my only child (20 y/o daughter- my mother's only grandchild) in early May when she was put on hospice/end of life care, thru fundraising. I'm thankful for that at least that I was able to do that.

The last time I saw my mother before that was June 2013, when my beloved husband and I traveled out to WA to see her when she was in her first Alzheimer's unit. The photo will be placed here, when I'm comfortable. It's a very rare thing to see a full length photo of myself (I don't like photos taken of me because of my weight-- looking back on my photos of my girl when she was little, I barely have ANY with the her and I. Even with Kevin- - thinking back, but I still have a life time to take photos with my daughter (as an adult) but because of my shame at how I looked, I have very few photos with my husband. How I wish I would have taken them now. But, I can't).

So, all of that background being said, since my husband passed away, and currently, my mother is slipping away to be with the Lord too- and they were my two biggest part of my life who cared enough to be concerned for me (I'm also a heavy smoker); I'm losing their spoken words of encouragement, but I'm taking matters into my OWN hands, and doing it for me, and in their loving memories. They want me well.

MrsKevin (Suzanne)


Oh, of course my screen name is MRSKEVIN because so many in our area know me as Kevin's wife, passed away or not, I'm still MRSKEVIN to many. He was very beloved and well known in our town. (He was even a mini-celeb for a time, as he was a local disc jockey on our town's radio station)

Oh- here is a before photos....gulp (no face for privacy reasons)
June 2012- Don't know my exact weight- guessing it was about the same as my starting weight since I started atkins on Aug 1, 2013-- 224#. (Size 22/24 jeans, size 1-2XL tee)

What a touching story! I believe that God led you to this site as you will find the support and motivation you need in your life right now to carry on and march to victory in your weight loss battles and other areas of your life as well. I suffer from multiple disabling illnesses and injuries, but I find inspiration in what many of the guys and gals here have to say that not only helps me stay focused on my weight loss journey, but they also just put a smile on my face which is all I really need many days. I pray you get real involved here and find that as well. Welcome and I look forward to following your journey so post often if you will. Blessings, Firegirl

Hi MrsKevin, I am so sorry for your loss and I wish you the very best in your journey forward.

Suzanne I am so deeply sorry for your loss. Yes you can do this. As a nurse I advise to quit smoking. You have a long life ahead of you and you need to take care of you. We have a fall challenge going on under support form- sub forum "chicks up for a challenge" Stop on by we have some great members and love to have you.
You have a lot of stress in your life with the death of your spouse, mother's illness ect but we are here for you. So come by our thread challenge even if you just need a couple friends to talk with.
melodie

Thank you so much for the kind words and welcomes, folks. Wow, very special.

I'll be over to the challange forum in a bit, because yes, of course I need to stop smoking. I guess 2013 could turn out to be the year for everything in my life, Cons and Pro (- death of a spouse battling cancer, pending death of mother in hospice on the other side of the country, but on the + side, quit smoking after 30 years and dropping nearly 80-90#) All I can do is try.

Welcome MrsKevin, I am so sorry for your loss and so glad you found us. I think you'll find lots of great support and wonderful people here to share your journey with!

Welcome!!
I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how it must feel. I hope you get the support you need here.