Hi everyone. I'm here because I really need to lose weight. I mean it this time. I mean it everytime I try to lose weight, but this time, I really mean it. (sigh)
I have been overweight since I was nine. I don't know why, but for some reason I gained like 25 pounds between 8 and 9 years old. I was still very active - I was super muscly (is that a word?) and very active, yet by my 8th grade year, I already weighed over 160lbs. yikes. Nobody would have guessed I weighed that much. A lot of my weight was muscle, and I was big boned.
In high school, I was the dance team captain, even though I weighed 200lbs by my senior year.
Over the many years since then, I have had little success dieting. Except that one time... the time that I lost 50lbs too quick-like and ended up with horrible gall stones. Even though I can no longer get gall stones (no gall bladder), I think I am subconsciously afraid to lose weight because of that. Add in to the fact that I am super shy with low self confidence.... I guess I am hiding behind my weight.
My weight hasn't really been a problem, medically (no doctor had ever suggested that I lose weight), until now. I received my first "you need to lose weight" lecture today from my doc. I had not been to see a doc in years (except for antidepressants), but since I had been having a lot of pain lately, I decided that it was time.
My current pains are: left shoulder, left upper back, left lower back, left hip, left muscle between ribs, right wrist, both thumbs, both feet, and tingly nerve issues on bottom of feet.
I feel way too old for my age.
I had not weighed myself in over 4 months, and I was shocked to discover that I had gained 30 pounds. I knew my pants had gotten tight, but 30 lbs?!?!?!?
My doc thinks that I might be showing early signs of osteoarthritis.
And he said that I have too much weight on my weight bearing joints.
He thinks that my weight is too much for the nerves on the bottom of my feet. Apparently, my weight is damaging my feet and wearing them down.
I have a four year old who needs his mama to be able to play and enjoy life.
I am extremely depressed tonight. I need to do something.
I hurt too much and am so tired, which makes cooking and exercising so hard. Yet I need to exercise and make better food choices in order to have energy and not hurt so much.
Calorie counting doesn't work for me. I fixate way too much on each morsel, which sucks any joy out of my life. Plus, I am all "all or nothing" dieter.... when calorie counting, that is devastating for my diet.
Don't even get me started on "points". lol.
I am going to need a lot of emotional support on this journey.
If you made it this far, thanks for your time.
Getting personal
