Stumbled In Like A Drunk Doctor
i wanted to take a minute to say hi. i found this forum using a google search that pulled up a discussion thread about crash diets. what struck me as interesting is most of the comments that were being made in the discussion were all very well thought out and articulate. i decided to join because i am struggling with an issue and i believe a group of well spoken, thoughtful individuals may be the right group to surround myself with as i figure out my next steps.
before getting into that, a little about my own background is that i am a student (for what seems like forever now) studying at the university of colorado denver. i travel long distances on my motorcycle by myself generally and camp for a night and then pack up the next day to ride some more- even farther away. i love being on the road and i really enjoy camping as well. im really friendly and outgoing but i can also have a bit of an edge, too. i like to refer to it as "resilient". i have had odd jobs on and off over the years of school (its hard to keep a real 9 to 5 when your class schedule changes every 16 weeks), but nothing has really stuck for me.
almost 2 years ago i watched my grandpa die of a brain tumor and it changed my mentality from being an unhealthy beer drinking restaurant eating college student to focusing on my health. i lost about 35 or 45 pounds and was doing really well for myself. i took a job that kept me on my fet for 12 hours and ate right so i was actually getting in pretty great shape. i sustained some really healthy habits for about 6 months and then on january 6th of this year my coworker hit me in the back of the head with a dishwashing crate (no, not on purpose but because she is an idiot and thought the handles of big bulky heavy things could be ignored so she could show off her 21 year old muscles to her line cook boyfriend and carry it like a pizza over her shoulder instead, which happens to be the same hight as the back of my head- go figure). i had a concussion for 19 days and a really serious neck injury to my c2 & c1 that left me unable to walk more than about 100 meters without losing feeling in my legs and falling down. almost entirely sedentary, i got sick of watching the insurance company dick around with delay tactics so they could refuse me medical treatment so i sought alternative medicine and was better in 5 sessions. match point for the dali lama.
ready to get back to my old habits i almost immediately turned around and crashed my scooter shattering my hand in 3 places and seriously damaging my knee. this time i couldnt even walk 100 feet. i needed surgery (actually, probably need a second surgery on the hand in a few weeks depending what the doc says) and about 4 weeks ago i got the pins out of my hand allowing me to go to the gym again. (couldnt go before because open wounds and a high occurrence of staff is too risky for my bones). anyway, so the whole ordeal(s) have left me unable to work a physical job yet (which i am very qualified to do and usually get with a song) and leaves me fighting in a pool of very qualified applicants for more sedentary office work which i am only a little qualified to do (even though i do it incredibly well, employers just dont seem to get it). so here is, thanks for bearing with the watered down last year of my life- i am, needless to say, quite broke and facing eviction at the end of this month. i dont have money for food and because i am not knocked up or a drug addict, i dont qualify for any real assistance programs. remember what i said about finding this forum because i was researching crash diets? finally tying it all together- i am only able to afford to eat about 500-700 calories a day until i find work. crash diet by default. eating like this has only been going on for about 1.5 to 2 weeks so far but i dont really see an end in sight as far as when i will be able to afford food again. in fact, if i cant work something out by the end of the month i will not be able to afford any food.
i started weighing in, about 3 weeks ago at 225 as my best estimate (you know how it is when you see yourself at your biggest and you refuse to weigh yourself again out of shame? yeah, best estimate). i weighed myself tonight and i am 192. not good for 3 weeks. while i am quite excited that i will soon be back to pre-injury(s) weight again and the fat on my stomach is dropping south as it starts to disappear, i am really worried that i will, as they say happens in crash diets gain even more of it back again. in an effort to keep my metabolism from slowing completely down i take vitamins and i do go to the gym about 4-5 days a week, but i try to stick to weight lifting (as PT for my knee), swimming, and pushing that little foam weight around in the hot tub since my hand is too weak to lift regular weights. i try to avoid the full on cardio/calorie burn workout as i think i already have that one covered.
my apologies for the long monologue im not really a bashful person, i just thought the background would be useful in the overall scheme of things. my apologies, also if my story seems sad to some and i just ruined your day, i totally didnt mean to. im not looking for a pity party at all either. i mean, all things considered i am a very lucky person and very fortunate to have my positive attitude almost desperate desire for adventure. i feel losing everything in that jack kerouac way may not necessarily be a bad thing for me as it will open a lot of doors to opportunities that i have previously rejected because i had an apartment. anyway, i believe once i get back on my feet i will be able to slowly re-introduce more calories into my diet and get back on track that way but that process is going to be HARD. jumping into my old eating habits will be a huge challenge once i have money to afford it again. and thats why im here. i want to read the stories of other people and share my own to work my way through the tough transition from the "poverty diet" to the "functional human being diet".
thanks for reading and i hope to get to know you guys in the future
|
Alice! You have such a positive outlook on life. Have you thought about doing temporary work? Sometimes it can turn into a permanent job.
and stay encouraged.
