[Jessica9190]

I'm new here. I've never done anything like this but I’m so sick of being miserable. I am a 32 year old mother of two rowdy boys (9&10.) I have battled my weight off and on since high school. Usually I gain when I’m really depressed and something will happen to trigger a loss and I’ll start losing. I don't stick well to diets. The times I’ve lost I have just quit eating. Sometimes I would do the whole binge and purge thing but I hate throwing up and I know that's unhealthy. I mean I’ve never been super skinny but when I have lost it's not been really healthy. I do know how to diet healthily-I just don't usually stick to it. I know water is good. I'm 5'7" I'm not sure what I weigh right now. The last time I weighed I was 221 but I know I’ve gained since then because my pants are tighter but I don't want to step on scale and be even more depressed.

In 2005-I weighed 220 and went on a diet and lost to 170 in about 4 months-then I had my tonsils removed and lost to 155

I slowly gained it all back and in 2009 was up to 242.

I went on a diet and lost to 172 in about 3-4 months and gained back up to about 190-kept it off for two years but this January I started gaining again and now I’m probably like 230-235.

I beat myself up constantly for losing and gaining-I think to myself "why did I let this happen again?"

I look in the mirror and I am disgusted. My husband is constantly telling me how beautiful I am and I tell him he is nuts or crazy or smitten. I just can't take compliments when I feel so awful about myself.

We are having issues financially, so I’m too broke to spend money on the right foods-because we all know they're more expensive.-that's probably a poor excuse but I really do feel hopeless.

We even bought an elliptical but those things only work if you actually exercise on them

I am just so down and want help but I know all the answers already I just don't have the will power right now. I was hoping to read and talk and maybe someone would say something to "pep talk" me into getting started


I see a variety of different diets people on here are doing. Maybe someone could recommend one for me.

Also, I don't know a lot of the acronyms. Like what is IP? I assume WW is weight watchers and SBD is south beach diet but is there a list or something?

[Borgie]

Jessica,

WW (weight watchers) worked for me. People keep telling me that my story is an inspiration so check out my story on my website in my signature.

You just have to decide now is the time and JUST DO IT. It can be done. I am proof positive!

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, ​
but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”

[jonah]

The only power pill that I know is "motivation".
What are your motivations?

To look great?
To be "healthy"?
To not be looked at with disdain?

These motivations can help some, but when you are on a tough day while slimming or you are in the stages of maintaining your "ideal" weight,
These flimsy motivations will fall to the wayside.

Make your motivations count.
Would you like to see your children learn good eating habits?
Would you want them to see plunge deeper into weight gain if you do not grab the reigns?
Wouldn't you like to know that you can see your two young ones grow up and be their when they graduate?
Wouldn't you like to know that, you are the ones who taught your kids that we should express ourselves and not stuff ourselves?

Lastly, If you starting getting fit for any reason, make sure that it is for yourself.

The main reason that we stuff ourselves and basically abuse our bodies with food or other things is because we do not love and neglect ourselves.

It may be difficult, but during this slimming period, take some time now to "not be miserable".

Fat doesnt make you miserable.

Being Miserable, might affect how you use food. (as nutrients or a band-aid).

Take some time to do what makes you happy, regardless of if you are fat or not.

Some things may not be as 'easy' or as 'fun' as they might be if you were thinner, but you should not let being overweight stop you from living a wonderful life.


===================

Financial Aspect:

I am unaware if you live in the USA or not.
If so, you are doing quite well.

homeless people in america rarely die of hunger ~ (did you notice?)
While in other countries, people die everyday of malnutrition.

The fact that you are here and breathing means that you have had food to sustain you for years.

Now that the misconception is out of the way, what you are really saying is:

"I dont have money to buy the Organic/Best/WholePaycheck foods"

"I cannot afford The lowfat stevia soft serve yogurt at the grocery store".

Its true that most "organic" foods in main chain grocery stores cost more.

Though Lets Get Real.

If you are really dedicated, you could live on beans and rice.
Its relatively cheap and affordable.

That being said, You may want to use more variety with less diversity of ingredients.

Example with beans: Chili, regular beans, burritos, etc.

For fruits and vegetables, you can research and find local farmers markets or even local co-ops that sell affordable goods that you need.

The co-ops are basically "better than organic" in the sense that you are buying it directly from the farmers that grew it. (from the soil to your kitchen table )

================================

Lastly, to deal with the Fat issue,

It may be true that you are "fat".
That does not mean that you deserve to suffer or to be treated any sort of way.

Being overweight comes from eating too much over an extended period of time (called gluttony)

The reason behind the gluttony is the "REAL ISSUE" that may be causing the feelings of unworthiness or low self esteem.

======================

Pep Talk:

Lose weight to gain a better life
Lose weight but also leave that baggage behind
Lose weight but gain substance

Lose weight to see your kids grow older
Lose weight to see your self mature better with age
Lose weight to see your life go into a 360 turn!

Finally:

Lose weight because you love yourself, and you are a very special. There is no one else in this world who is like you. You are unique, one of a kind , and there will never be another one like you afterwards.

Be the best you that you can be!

Have a Great Journey!

[SerenityDiva]

Wow lots of great advice already. I just want to say welcome. You can do this once you decide to, but like people have stated it has to be for you and not a diet in the sense of depriving. I choose to fuel my body with healthier options (not always the healthiest option) and my favorite most empowering thing I have done was say "I don't eat that" not that I *can't* eat that because I could if I wanted to and that to me indicates I'm depriving myself.

Another big thing for me is the 15 minute rule. Generally if I am craving something bad for me I wait it out, ideally DOING something for 15 minutes. If I still want it I try eating salad (I keep them premade in the fridge, but like I have my lettuce in one container, radishes in another, tomatoes in another...then I can customize it and it doesn't get soggy) and if I am still craving it, I'll give in..or I tell myself I will give in it hasn't happened recently.

Good luck and use these boards!

[mccull83]

Way to take the first step and sign up here! I can identify with just feeling miserable about yourself and wanting a quick fix to get rid of the fat that's accumulated. Just know that YOU CAN DO THIS! It's so great to read all the inspirational things on this web site, and seeing other people reach their goal and maintain.
I like how jonah talked about making your goals count! ("would you want your kids to learn good eating habits, etc.") There's obviously more important things in this world than "getting skinny." Honestly though, sometimes when I'm broke down and mentally exhausted I have to focus on what I truly, deep down desire, which is to wear the "skinny" clothes in my closet, prove my sister (who's always made fun of me) wrong, and hope that one day I won't be self conscious about my weight.

I'm almost 2 months into this "eating healthy and loosing weight" thing. Here's what's working for me:
-I started by making a list of foods I love and then writing what I should eat in a whole day on a 3x5 card. I've loved this because it's easy to pull out and brows through the many options and pick one. Today I chose "day 8" meal plan; lunch included ground turkey (cheaper and better for you than beef, and tastes the same once you've figured out what seasonings to use) and made taco meat, then mixed it with a lettuce/carrot/cabbage salad and a little salsa for the "dressing." Breakfast was a real yummy egg sandwich I love. (I even made a day plan for when I'm hardly home and lists fast food options.)
-I make a bunch of meals and freeze them ahead of time so there's never an excuse to get fast food
-I cut out diet pop and all the cakes/sweets I'm addicted to. I found a supplemental shake that tricks my tastebuds into thinking "I'm satisfied" and haven't had the urge to binge on cakes/sweets
-I have a lot to loose and only currently exercise 2-3times a week (I'm trying to not let this consume me, because I'm afraid I'll burn out quicker then. I want to see exercise as something I don't dread, and if I made myself do it more often then I'd hate it, plus I work 3 days a week for 12 hours each time and am constantly on my feet)

[mccull83]

Oh, IP i believe stands for Ideal Protein Diet. I don't know anything about it (might be similar to Atkins??), but there's a forum on here for support if you did choose to do it.

[ladynredd]

You've gotten some great advice. You're right that there are a lot of different eating plans represented here, but we all know that we need to support and encourage one another.

One suggestion I would make is that you check out the Beck Diet Solution. You ought to be able to get it through your library, maybe through interlibrary loan, so it doesn't cost you anything. There is an active group here on the 3FC board. The book is not so much a "diet" as a set of mental exercises (homework) that teaches you the skill sets of a thin person. It's helping me identify my emotional triggers that have always caused me to turn to food in the past, and develop healthy non-binge ways of dealing with life.

Keep checking in and let us know how you're doing!