I’ve been coming to this forum every few days and reading all the inspirational messages and all the advice and it really gave me the push to join and not just be a stalker. I was hesitant and nervous, but here I am.. one step at a time. I’ve had a rough battle when it comes to weight loss. As a child till about 11, I was tiny. Once I got to junior high school and puberty hit, I started to put on weight. I wasn’t ‘fat’ (I hate that word
) but I wasn’t my ideal weight. By high school, I was ‘chubby’. In my first two years of HS, I was at a weight that I was unhappy with but a weight I could deal with. I made a lot of friends and had a little too much fun. I ended up dropping out of school at the end of sophomore year
and when my parents found out, I was restricted of doing anything at all
. Parental control and my then unknown depression lead me to sit home all day and night and slowly put on the pounds. While I dealt with my school issues, I just slept all day, stayed up all night, and ate - consumed by the computer, depressing music, and TV.
At the age of 17, before I enrolled to the GED/college program, I started following a diet that my athlete of a cousin was doing. Nothing crazy, she ate healthy and trained. I spent a lot of my time with her and so followed in her footsteps, ate what she ate, and went to the gym with her. By the time I was to start the Fall semester of my first year of college, I lost almost 60 lbs.
It was the most incredible feeling I have ever felt to know that I got back into shape, smaller than I ever was in HS. It was an unreal feeling, I felt confident and sexy and all my insecurities were gone.
I made new friends, yet again, met lots of guys, enjoyed the flirting, started going out, drinking, fell in love, had my heartbroken, and wanted to get as far away from there as possible. I changed my social circle to just my girlfriends and I slowly began putting the weight back on and not just the 60 lbs I had lost but an extra 60 as well.
Again, I was in this hidden depression.. It took me over 2 years to get over him and sometimes I wonder if I did at all. Over these years, I have put on double the weight. I have lost all the confidence that I have ever had. My insecurities can literally eat me alive. I don’t like to meet new people; I always think people are judging me based on my appearance. I play these disgusting thoughts in my head over and over, that people could be saying about me and it haunts me everyday. I’m tired of being sad, burdened with this weight, alone and being the single ‘fat girl’. There is a great guy willing to give me everything I’ve ever wanted and yet I can’t seem to put all my problems with myself aside, to let him.
It’s been around 3 years since I put on the weight, after being diagnosed with hypothyroidism and treating it, I have finally started to really do something about it. I finally focused on my issues with food. I love food, plain and simple. All the savory, cheesy, salty things. That’s my weakness =(
and all of that brings fat and calories. I have been on every type of diet, but I need really strict restrictions otherwise I don’t know my limits.
At the moment, I am on a sort of vegetarian diet, sticking to fruits and veggies and getting my protein from dairy products. It’s been working, I have lost about 16 lbs in 3 weeks =) . I should start working out more, I do kickboxing once a week because I am known to be lazy and tired after my 9-5. But, kickboxing is the only working out I like because my trainer manages to keep it exciting and new each time. With the help and support of my family, friends, coworkers, and hopefully you guys.. I truly hope to reach my goal successfully!
I’m sorry for the long essay, I just wanted to introduce myself and make some new friends =) I seem to have found a new outlook on getting fit, and it is finally a positive one! =) I hope to become a part of your community, make friends, and any advice or words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated!
I made it..
