Just now I have finally decided to help myself because I've finally realized no one is going to do it for me. I am 22 years old, 400+lbs and I am sick of being obese.
Now I've looked into weight loss surgery and the like but the only problem with that is that my insurance has weight loss surgery as a contract exclusion the jerks, so it's up to me to get motivated and start losing the weight myself. Now here is where I run into problems, I am surrounded by enablers also known as my family. I love food, pasta, bread, and cheese are my biggest downfalls I love them and they are cheap to buy and prepare which means there is an abundance of them in my home. And before you say oh well just buy different food it's not that easy because I cannot afford to buy fresh fruits and veggies when I am the only one eating them because it cuts too much into the food budget for the non-dieters in the house. And they steadfastly REFUSE to even attempt a balanced meal, they are constantly buying pre-packaged over processed food and I eat it too!!!! Even though I am aware of how unhealthy what I am eating is I still stuff my face because it's there, tastes good, and no one tries to stop me when I go back for seconds and I shouldn't of even had firsts. And I know what you're thinking, well why don't you just stop yourself and to that I say if it were that freakin' easy I wouldn't be here asking for your help. I have no self-control when it comes to food and it's killing me.
If you fine folks could give me some tips and advice on how to handle my family's unwillingness to help me be healthy, what to eat, and a good exercise program I would be deeply appreciative.
No Laura. what I am thinking is girlfriend, it is time to cut the apron strings and move out of the house.
You are entitled to be an independent individual.
I know that's a big change. You can be healthier starting right now.
You are young. Your relationship with your family is indicative in your family's eating habits.
Sugar and simple carbohydrates are addictive. Your body treats these substances like a drug. like heroin, like alcohol.
you can get help. Over-eaters anonymous is FREE and they meet all over the country.
Please come back to these forums. I know the loneliness and the self loathing. You can break free from this addiction and you can have the beautiful life you deserve.
You say your family has been unwilling to change. May I ask what you've said and whom you've said it to? How serious has your discussion been with your family about the need to make healthier choices? Has it been a sit-down, or just a passing "we should eat better" without any suggestions or definition of what "better" means?
If you haven't had a serious talk, then it's time to sit down with the most sympathetic member in the household and tell them about what you aim to do, and what you need from them.
You may not be able to change everyone's minds. You may not be able to convince them to make all the changes you want to make. But, that's okay. They can still encourage you to do better, even if they don't want to change.
Even if you don't end up getting exactly what you want from your family, remind yourself that you are in control. Weight loss is a very personal thing. While the outside can influence us, every single one of us has the resolve to do what is healthy.
As an example, you mention how you know you go back for seconds. That'd be a great start for a healthy change. No seconds. Take a plate for dinner, enjoy eating it, but no going back for more. And that's just one way that you are in control. There are many more ways you can improve your food choices.
It might also do you some good to join a group that is interested in fully supporting your healthy changes. Weight Watchers, TOPS (tops.org), and Overeaters Anonymous are all known for having in-person meetings that you could join and use to help bolster your resolve. They're very good for getting the support that we really do need on this journey.
You've already made a great step in joining 3FC. There are people from all walks of life, and with all amounts of weight to lose. There are a myriad of ways that have worked for different members.
You might appreciate the 300+ Club, or the 100lb Club areas. They're for those of us who have a larger amount to lose. All the areas are open and welcoming, so post wherever you're comfortable.
The beginning of a change like this can be overwhelming. You're not alone in this. All of us here have chosen to make healthier changes. We know firsthand how difficult it can be, but we also know just how worth it the journey is.
You're worth this. You can do it.
Keep coming back, and I hope to see you around the boards.
Laura, welcome, glad to have you join us. I suggest you look for a Challenge or Support group to join; small check-in groups make it easier to connect, get involved, and be accountable. We have groups centering around specific diet plans, themes, or age groups, so find one that inspires you and just post to join! Be sure to check out the 20-somethings
I absolutely agree with the fact that getting out of this environment would be best for my health, unfortunately it's not that simple. My father had to go on medical leave last year because of open wounds in his legs (he was a truck driver) and during this time my mother decided she wanted a divorce after 32 years of marriage so she left all the bills in my dads lap and since he had no current income it fell in my lap. So I put school on hold and started working full time and paying the mortgage credit card and utility bills with the money I'd been saving to get an on campus apartment. A few months after all this mess my parents decide to file for bankruptcy and by that point my funds had been depleted so when my dad decided to move 3 states away I felt I really had no other options but to stick with him and my brother who has aspergers which is a form of autism. So here I am in a new place with no significant amount of money of my own whining about my problems to you lovely people. Now don't get me wrong I know this is not an excuse by any means but I wanted to explain why just up and leaving isn't an option quite yet. And I have had many serious discussions with my father about my health and his health he smokes and has a bad heart and bad circulation just a mess really and I try to tell him how we can get healthy together but he says he hasn't changed in 60 years why start now. It's SO frustrating. Anyways back on subject I don't drink soda or eat chips candy and snack foods, I buy fat free cottage cheese and milk and since I can't let cheese completely out of my life I buy low fat part skim mozzarella for turkey sandwiches on whole wheat bread with no condiments. I know what I need to do and how to do it I know portion control and balancing a plate, I know what nutrients I need to be healthy it's just that more often than not I fall off the wagon and go back to old ways and the whole time I KNOW I need to stop but I don't am I that self-destructive I don't know but I've never done this forum/support group thing before so maybe it can be a turning point for me. I apologize for the novel and this is not meant to be a pity thing I just wanted to explain my situation a little better.
Here's the thing. Everyone is surrounded by unhealthy food. That's sort of, like it or not, the food culture, particularly in the USA.
If you work in an office, the break room has cake and goodies out on the counter.
If you work in a school or preschool, teachers and students bring you in snacks and treats.
Heck, I used to belong to a gym that had baskets of candy for every holiday, bagels on the counter on Sunday, and a hardcore aerobics instructor who brought plates of cookies for her regular class participants at Christmas! AT THE GYM!
So it really isn't viable to change the world around you to avoid temptation (although some people can change what is in their house, you still have to face it at the grocery store, at the office, walking through Costco when they're passing out samples, etc). You have to change the way you react to that temptation.
Unfortunately, that's definitely not EASY to do. But successful weight loss is really just about making one decision after another that supports health. Every time you decide what to eat, or decide whether to move/exercise, you move yourself closer to or farther away from your goal. So even in the face of all that temptation, you can choose to move yourself TOWARD your goal. It's tough, yes, but it's worth it.
You have to learn to choose to be healthy. You have to learn to make the right choices. No one can do it for you. Minimizing temptation will help you to a degree, but it will never entirely go away. Having healthy food in the house is all well and good, but eating it out of proportion will still not get you where you want to go. This is all about you and how badly you want to be the person you see in the mirror or the one you see in your imagination. Do you REALLY want to be healthy? Do you REALLY want to change your life? If you do, you'll REALLY make the right choices.
Welcome Laura. It does seem like you have a lot in your way but you can do it. Change things slowly. Start with just making a list of what you are eating each day and how much you exercise. It will give you a good starting point. What helped me start my weight loss journey was pictures of myself and the future that I want to have. If you want to do it you can do it and nothing will stand in your way.
Even though some people are saying "everyone is surrounded by unhealthy food" and stressing that what you eat is your choice, I completely understand your dilemma as I'm in the same place you are, or at least I am when I'm home for breaks. It's not easy when the food your family is buying is so packed with calories that making a deficit almost requires starving yourself. And if you are eating high calorie food, it's hard to burn off the extra calories through exercise because it requires so much more work.
As for your lack of control...my advice is to think of how the food actually makes you feel. Sure, it tastes good and you feel happy at first but how do you feel after? Guilty. Upset. Frustrated. Imagine what it feels like to step on the scale and realize you've lost weight, to have to wear smaller clothes because your old ones are falling off of you. When I weighed myself last week and realized I was down 14 pounds, I could scarcely contain my joy. It strengthened my determination to continue forward and made it even easier to keep going. It just gets better and better and that feeling is way better than what you feel when you eat something unhealthy.
I am new on here of today January 24th/2012 and I am 70. I want to change and be healthy. I have to agree with andrew80k. Madaline 82.Lovely. Your not alone but your alone to want to do it.
You do have to move forward. Yes the places you go has food everywhere . Knowone can not avoid it. So you have to mean business. You have to want to be serious enough to want the change to eating healthy for you.. It is up to you. Dad doesnt want to change. You do. So kick all the excuses to the curb. Get working to be a DONE GIRL. YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!! Laura.
Alot of really concreat advise here. Be thankful to me that is helps. It may look like tough love but Laura they care about you. So do I.
I get it its hard, I've been trying to lose the weight for as long as I can remember then something stressful happens or I just stop caring (for whatever myriad reasons) I slip back into bad habbits and gain it back.
No easy answers, when it comes to eating small changes are the easiest to stick to. You already say you switched out in whole grain breads , and you do low fat dairy. And you don't eat junk food at all. (TBH I wish I could say that! )
I find it easiest when I am accountable in public, so ex I am more likely to make smart choices when I am participating in a biggest loser competition at work or am regularily (and honestly) updating a group online about my progress.
I did my best when I completely journalled EVERYTHING I ate, everything I did in a forum that was interactive and had others supporting my choices. That worked for me.
It's worth considering and trying, start participating in the threats in 100 club and 300+ (and other forums but those are the two where I feel comfortable).
Join in, even if you are not losing yet, (or not losing now, I am gaining I think) just having others to talk to and related to seems to help me maintain my weight most of the time rather than gaining it all back.
Trust me your not alone in your struggle if it was easy as snapping your fingers there wouldn't be a huge obesity problem on our continent.
I am having trouble finding my workout groove again and eating healthy myself but I still come here and sometimes it helps me make just one more healthy choice than I otherwise would have made.
I feel for you girl. I don't think what your talking about is just "excuses" It's just real life. I always seem to think of reasons why not to eat the right thing or exercise. I have learned that no one can give you willpower though, you have to find that on your own Good Luck!!!!!
And before you say oh well just buy different food it's not that easy because I cannot afford to buy fresh fruits and veggies when I am the only one eating them because it cuts too much into the food budget for the non-dieters in the house. And they steadfastly REFUSE to even attempt a balanced meal, they are constantly buying pre-packaged over processed food and I eat it too!!!!
I'll say it anyway. Just buy different food. For you. Buy enough for you, and not them and it really won't affect the food budget too much. It's certainly cheaper than pre-packaged over-processed food. Buy two bananas at a time. Or an apple and an orange. A single head of lettuce or bag of salad.
You're entitled to the food that will make and keep you healthy.
I'll say it anyway. Just buy different food. For you. Buy enough for you, and not them and it really won't affect the food budget too much. It's certainly cheaper than pre-packaged over-processed food. Buy two bananas at a time. Or an apple and an orange. A single head of lettuce or bag of salad.
You're entitled to the food that will make and keep you healthy.
I agree! This website isn't a low calorie blog, but it does have a lot of dishes that are balanced and inexpensive. Try taking a look to see what you can make for yourself. If nobody wants to eat it, it's still worth making a full dish, portioning it, and freezing your own meals. It saves time and money like you wouldn't believe.
I am SURROUNDED by enablers HELP ME!!!
