Hi everyone. I dont even know were to begin. I've never been on any forums or anything like this before, but after the breakdown I had today, I figured that it couldnt hurt to try to talk to people who are in the same boat as me. I'm a 24 year old girl from Long Island, NY. I have an amazing family, boyfriend and great friends that surround me all the time. Five years ago I opted to have the lap-band system put in. I truly thought that once I had the surgery I was going to wake up and suddenly have this skinny person mentality and no longer have a struggle with my weight. Unfortunately, it has been quite some time, and after numerous adjustments to my band, I still am able to eat however much I want. Thinking back now, I wish I had never done the surgery but for right now, it is what it is. A year and a half later I moved to live with my mom down south. It was an amazing experience and after four months, I had managed to lose 45 pounds by not eating meat (just seafood, fruits, veggies & whole grains) and not having alcohol. While living down with my mom, I met my boyfriend on Match.com and couldnt wait to meet hm in person. Considering he was from NY (as were the rest of my family and friends), I decided that it was a good time to move back to my family and friends that I missed so much and also have the plus of meeting this guy I had met in person. (Needless to say after three years, me and my boyfriend are still together and are looking forward to getting engagd) When I got back to NY, everyone was absolutely amazed at how much different I looked. I was down to 203 pounds and couldnt wait to see the 199 mark on the scale. As time passed, the pounds slowly started to creep back on. I remember telling myself that it was only six pounds to lose till i got back to my 203 weight. Then it was 14 pounds, then it was 19 pounds, 24 pounds, so on and so forth. It has now been three years since I moved back home and Ive gained all of the weight back, plus some. Im currntly 255 pounds and have had numrous melt downs about it. My poor boyfriend is so amazing and tries to hard to make me feel better but his love for me wll only go so far. I no longer love myself and I feel terribe about the way I look. I came to a realization today that I no longer have control over my life--FOOD DOES. It controls my every thought, action and decision in my life. I may sound crazy to some but I'm just hoping and praying that someone out there understands where I am coming from and gets what Im going through. Like I said at the beginning of this, "Has anyone seen tht light at the end of the tunnel?" I sincerely cant seem to find it!

Welcome to 3FC

Several years ago I lost 108 pounds following Weight Watchers. I married, moved and ended up in another state with no local connections. I gained almost every single pound back.

I'm not going to give excuses, but one by one my better habits were left in the dust and I returned to my old awful habits.

Sometimes it makes me sad, and sometimes it makes me very angry at myself. At where I could've been, at looking back and seeing how I could've stopped it.

But, I didn't. And so here I am. A couple years older. A couple years wiser. And have had one heckuva learning experience. I'm not immune to gaining weight back. I must be vigilant. Sometimes it will be rough. Sometimes it will seem slow. But, I am stronger. And I can do this.

You can, too. So you gained some weight back. You can't change what you chose to do yesterday, but you sure as heck can change what you're doing TODAY.

Look around. WE ALL UNDERSTAND. We understand what it's like when life is about when the next meal is. When portions don't matter. When we just eat what we want when we want.

You. Can. Change. It's not going to happen all at once, but one decision at a time. You'll get there.

Welcome to 3FC!

Having a melt down and crying about what happened in the past will not help you in the present time. Losing weight is not the easiest thing to do but if you put your mind and motivation to it then it will be easier than it seems.

Maybe you can try planning your meals ahead of time and write down everything you consume. It has worked for me. If it is not part of my planned meals and I still have some calorie allowance then I will allow myself to have it and not think twice about it.

I have seen the light at the end of the tunnel when I met my first mini goal. I was ecstatic when I met that first mini goal. The light for you is there. You just have to find it. If you don't set out for it then it will not appear. Good luck on your journey.

CAPRICORN ... hang in there; i know its hard to lose and gain all the weight. Just keep on going; eat as healthy as you can but dont forget to live too. Watch the amounts and you will start to get better a little at a time. Just keep going and dont beat yourself up. You are not alone by any means ...

You did one of the best things you could do by joining this forum. Here you will meet several people who know where you're coming from, including me. No, I have not had lap band surgery, but I have gained and lost lots of weight so many times since I was 15. That is almost 34 years of yo-yo weight loss and gain. My poor body doesn't know what to expect any more. If I wasn't dieting, I was binging. It was terrible. I am praying that it doesn't happen this time when I get to goal weight.

One thing I'm doing differently this time around (with my sister) is I started a blog. For some reason, getting that website up where the whole world could see it if they wanted to has made me stay on plan 100%. That has never happened before.

If blogging doesn't interest you, join one of the many challenges on this board. Some people find keeping accountable to others who are in the same challenge really keeps them on their toes.

I wish you all the best in your weight loss journey. Try to keep positive and never give up.

I think a lot of us have been in the same boat as you... we work hard, shed the pounds, then see the pounds come back. It's very frustrating and upsetting.

I'm actually at the point where you're at right now. I too wish that I could see the light. It seems like no matter what I do the pounds won't come off, but all we can do is try our best.

Weight doesn't define us! It doesn't determine who we are or what kind of lives we're going to lead. Don't become so obsessed with shedding the pounds that it affects other areas of your life. What's the point in losing weight if you're going to be miserable throughout the journey?

Just relax and take it a day at a time...

Hi Capricorn86

I can relate to exactly what you are saying. I have lost and gained the same 60 pounds over the years and each time it gets harder and harder to wrap your head around being a success. I have a house full of people that support and encourage me but sometimes I still feel alone. With all that being said...I will say what has not changed...my determination NOT to give up! Determination is what it is going to take for you to be successful at losing weight. I am still trying to work this thing out and I will continue until I find what works for me. Sometimes you probably will have a meltdown or two. I know I do but then you say to yourself "Ok I got that out now I am going to get pass it and work toward my goal because if I don't I am guaranteed never to see it" Sending (((((good vibes))))) your way!

hi. I just read your intro and I can relate to your srtuggle. it's b/c so many foods readily available are addictive. the salt/fat/sweet monkey is harder to detox from b/c it's not illegal. belive me there are times i wish I could just live off cigarettes and black coffee. I don't evencare that its unhealthy I just hate the way i can no longer even wear decent clothes.
Ah, but capricorn you are young. You can join a gym and push yourself to sweat and ache and gett addictive to the endorphins. Go for it .

i had the break down you just had last week... after finally deciding that this is not enough for me, that this is not what i want for the rest of my life, i started walking, i walk every day now with my housemate. ive decided that if i find myelf watching nonsense on tv, i jump up and go do something else. im trying to be more active in my daily routine, and ive found that in whats seemed like the longest week in my life, i have more energy and im sleeping better at night, i make my walks more interesting, i chat enthusiastically about my day (found myself doing the dance to YMCA the other day while walking... my house mate wanted nothing to do with me lol) or other sometimes very random things with my walking buddy, i take my music on a walk with me (and have once found people staring at me because im singing along lol) but ive been trying to make it a much more POSITIVE experience and i can safely say that the worst part is now over, i now look forward to my walks (im sitting at work atm and cant wait to get out and about again this afternoon). i have always found the first week to be the hardest and usually dont make it past the first few days. but this time im in a different mind set and my eating plan is very flexible but healthy and ive decided to avoid macdonalds like the plague. i looked up the calories in one of their meals and nearly cried.

good luck to you you can do it, my opinion is you just need a little determination and a positive attitude

I understand what you're going through completely! Once upon a time, my all time high weight was 190. I went from there to 160, where I received so many compliments and felt so much better about myself! I'm not sure where it all went wrong, but here I am, at just under 230. You've taken a huge step in the right direction in joining this forum If it wasn't for the lovely people here I never could have lost the initial 20lbs. Everyone is so supportive! What's helping me a lot is joining challenges, as they're really good motivation. I've just signed up to join the fall Biggest Loser challenge. I've never been a part of Biggest Loser before but I've been reading through old threads and it seems fantastic! Why not go over to the Biggest Loser area of the forum and see if it's something you might be interested in?

Very best of luck to you, see you around xx

I was just sitting down watching TV and remembered that I never checked back to see if I got any responses. I cant thank everyone enough for the kind motivational words. It means a lot to see other people in the same situation as me. I went food shopping today and bought everything I need to begin my heathy life style. I also bought new sneakers and cant wait to go to the gym in the morning! THANK YOU AGAIN EVERYONE! I'll let you all know how I'm doing as the days pass