The first 4 months of this year I checked this site every day, several times a day.. I lost 37 lbs.. I was feeling great! Fast forward to now, I have already gained back 17 pounds .. ugh! I kept trying to get myself back on track.. at first I thought it was school stress, but I graduated.. and I still couldn't get it together. I talked with my doctor... and we realized.. DUH! I started getting out of control with my eating when I started back on anti-depressants + birth control. I got back on birth control, because I wanted to put off trying to have a baby until I lost more weight.. but my weight started going the wrong direction. Was it the birth control, or the anti-depressants causing me to be a pig? I don't know, but since stopping them both.. my urge to be a huge eat-everything-i-can-pig is gone! I mean, I still have food issues of course, but I feel like I can deal with them now.
I am discouraged by the weight I have gained back already, but am trying to look at the fact that I am down 20+lbs for the year. My goal now is to get below 200lbs by the end of the year. I have felt so much more in control with my eating the last few days... so I decided to come back to the place that helped me lose weight earlier this year.
Sorry for rambling lol but hiiiiiiiiiii!
On thing I learned whilst I was studying Gestaldt therapy, oh so long ago was that it helps to have a mantra, not any old mantra but one when you feel most vulnerable feels most real to you and in that quiet moment, serious and still, you know will stay with you.
For me it was the title of my blog "I am saving my life .... ", for a friend of mine it was the hackneyed (but no less profound for that) "I can do it!"
It is not easy to start some journeys even though we set out with such vigor we step out so determinedly success seems early. The hardest part is staying the course and everyone needs a break now and then. You are right back on the path and I hope that you feel so darned proud of that that you could burst.
I know, for me I am not the best exerciser or dieter in the world but I cling to my mantra like a limpet so when I open that fridge door (mind you all the old goodies have changed to something healthier in there) and eye anything not appropriate for the moment I just think "I am saving my life ...." and I take an orange or simply a glass of water. When I am tired, sore, headachy or just downright feeling lazy I glare at the treadmill, so much not wanting to get on it and I say "I am saving ...." etc
A mantra doesn't need to be seen as a goal, just as an inspiration that keeps you focussed towards it. My friend's "I can do it" is as vital to her as mine is to me and keeps her going as much as mine does me. Somewhere there is a mantra just waiting for you to adopt it!
