Hello from Canada :) SAHM looking to make myself a priority again.
Hi everybody! I joined 3fc several years ago and then became pregnant shortly after. Needless to say, my priorities changed drastically and I remained inactive on this site until now. I've spent the past few days lurking and reading your stories and successes and I am very inspired by them!
I'm a stay-at-home mom to a beautiful little boy who is my whole life! Unfortunately, in trying to be supermom, I ended up neglecting myself.
I spent the first year of my son's life in a state of constant anxiety about his development and my skills as a mother. I thought being a great mom meant constantly bombarding my son with mental/emotional stimulation, nursing at all hours of the day and night and rocking him for hours at a time while he napped. I look at him today and there is no doubt that what I was doing was great for him, it was terrible for me though. I would go all day without eating, and then when he went to bed in the evening (the few hours a day I spent apart from him) I would binge on high fat/high calorie foods. I wish I could turn back time and tell myself early-on to just enjoy my son and throw my worry out the window.
I was overweight 3 years ago, when I first joined this site and wanted to lose 60 pounds for my upcoming wedding, but instead became pregnant. I had terrible nausea for the first 5 months of my pregnancy and actually lost a few pounds. I never felt so beautiful in my life as I did when I was 9 months pregnant (bad skin, stretchmarks and all) that confidence died though soon after giving birth, and I developed a terrible 'what's the use?' attitude about my health and appearance. I have gained an additional 40 pounds since having my little guy. So here I am with 100 or so pounds to lose, and I'm feeling very overwhelmed. I know I'm ready for a change, I'm tired of being embarrassed about my size when I'm out in public, and sick of feeling tired and stressed out all the time. I need to make myself a priority again, if not #1, then a close second at least!
As it is, I hate telling other moms I meet that I'm a SAHM, (You know those moms who have had 3 kids and still have the body of a 16 year old dancer, often they are clad from head to toe in Lululemon and carrying extra-large double espressos, they tend to hang out in groups at the edge of the playground. Oh how I hate them and want to be them at the same time!). I feel like I conjure up an image of my son, sitting alone in the middle of the living room floor watching cartoons while I lie on the couch, half-conscious clutching a partially-eaten roll of cookie dough....(that has never happened by the way, I'm just about the most involved mom I know and proud of it!) I like who I am, I know that I'm a great mom, but I hate that my weight makes me feel like I'm 2 inches tall in the presence of these women who seem to have it all figured out (I know that this feeling is a result of my own insecurity).
I'm looking for other women to connect with. Someone with a similar amount of weight to lose (80-120ish pounds) would be awesome, but it isn't necessary. I'd like to give and receive support through email/PM once a week or so, and share successes and pitfalls with one another. If this sounds like you, please PM me! If it doesn't, talk to me anyway! I think you'll find I'm really friendly and eager to make friends here. I'm 100% committed to losing the weight and doing the work necessary to get to my goal. Thanks so much for taking the time to read my incomprehensible blabber (I'm a huge fan of brackets, can you tell?) I appreciate you reading my story more than you know, I'm eager to share my weight loss story with you, and just as excited to read about yours.
Lots of love, (and good-luck vibes!)
-Leah
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