[aurora23]

Hi, this is my first time here. I'm here because I need help bad. I eat when I'm sad, I eat when I'm anxious, and I even eat when I'm happy. I go through periods of time where I'm "good" -- I work out and I write down everything I eat -- but then something happens and I'm binging again.

I'm sure I sound like your usual emotional eater and I probably am. But it's more than that. I'm in a relationship with a man who won't be intimate with me because he can't perform with someone who looks like me! Mind you, I am overweight, but I'm only about 30-40 lbs over where I'd like to be (I weigh 195). I know I could probably be lower than that, but I'd be happy to get there.

I lost 80 lbs in 2003 and have kept it off; at my highest point, I weighed 275 lbs. So, I think I'm doing well. Yet I've been trying to release these last pounds since then and I keep bouncing back and forth 5-10 lbs, up and down. I'm sick of it.

Right now, I want so much to make a batch of cinnamon rolls, just the way my mother used to. I did that already yesterday morning and I ate the whole batch while my SO's at work. I hide when I binge, of course. He doesn't know. Sometimes I do it in spite because I'm sick of him judging me. Although he swears up and down that he doesn't, just by his not wanting to be close with me the way I look now, he's making a judgment.

Anyways, I go on and on... This is where I'm at. I hope to find some friends here who will STOP me when I'm starting to feel weak and help me stay on track so I can stop taking steps backward and get healthy (for MYSELF!)

Thanks for listening.

[Onederchic]

Hi and welcome to 3FC.

Good luck with your goals.

Hugs
Michelle

[motivated chickie]

Hi Aurora

Hugs to you & welcome. I am an emotional eater and a binge eater. I relate to your story about cinnamon buns. They are a major temptation and I used to eat a package of them at a time. Also, I'd buy a dozen donuts and pretend they were for a group of people. And eat them in one sitting.

I don't have any answers for you. You have them within yourself, but we are here to support you. I have been on the site for 2 years and it has helped me change my life.

I hope you can put your boyfriend completely out of your mind. You don't need the distraction of him bringing you down. I'm not saying you should break up with him (yet), but if he can't touch you, then you need not worry about him. Focus on yourself. Put yourself first. Make you your #1 priority and if you do that everything else will fall into place.

I can't tell you how many binges I've had in the past two years...probably 100 or so. A binge is not a failure. It is a lesson. What is working for me is I treat every day like a new day. And I focus on dealing with the binge triggers. If I don't binge, the scale rewards me.

Good luck and you aren't alone.

[aurora23]

Originally Posted by motivated chickie

A binge is not a failure. It is a lesson.

That's so great! I'm going to put it up on my refrigerator. (Thanks!)

[aurora23]

Thanks, Michelle! You, too!

[Losing It 2010]

Welcome to 3Fc, you will find much support here and a wealth of information

[DhaniCauldwell]

Welcome and good luck!

Dhani