I'm happy to say that I'm back, but sad to admit that after losing 130lbs from August '08-October '09, I went ahead and gained 70lbs in the last six months (since October). I'd like to say it was stress, but I think the truth is I had just given up- when I got to 160 pounds, a weight I'd always dreamed about, I felt like I was still just a "fat" kid.
Now I realize that the rapid weight loss didn't allow me time for for my self-image to catch up to reality, and that even if I'm not perfect at 160, it's still better than 230 or 290.
Congrats on 3 things: getting back on the wagon at all, making the realizations you did, and getting back on the wagon before you got back up to your highest weight or beyond!
I know the latter might not seem like such an accomplishment, I believe it is. I've yo-yo'ed the last 5 years, but each time I got back on the wagon, it was at a lower weight than I had started out each previous time. So even though I'm not making that slow steady trip downward, I'm absolutely sure I'll never be 280 again. I'm even sure I'll never be 252 or 234 again. I may screw up for a few months or even a year at a time, but I'm still maintaining SOME of the weight loss I've accomplished. And you've just done the same thing.
You certainly have come to the right place, Kelly. Welcome back.
Congrats on halting the gain before you got it all back plus more, as so often happens. I admire your courage for 'fessing up. As you know so well, staying *here with us helps.
I will tell you, it *is possible to shed the "fat girl" mantra. It *is. I have maintained ~80-90 # loss for ~8 yrs. I no longer think of myself as fat. ..pretty hard to do in size 4s...I have thrown out anything above a 6, and I know I am not going back there. It is possible, and I never get tired of how good it feels.
Slow and steady for now, and I hope you have a support group/system in place to start working on the new outlook.
The good news is: you know how to do it. You know what it takes to lose the wt. and now you know what you need to work on. So this is it!
Welcome back Kelly! You have always been one of my biggest inspirations on this site and you still are! I know what its like to lose so much weight and then for one reason or another gain it all back, but I just got my mojo back after being off the wagon for two years. It's so great that you are realizing what went wrong and are making the effort to get healthy again. You really are a beautiful girl and I'm so happy to see you back on here again. This really is one of the best places to turn to!
Welcome back! What I learned from gaining back what I lost is that I can't go back to "normal." Between my own weirdnesses and the modern American food environment, "normal" does not work for me. I need a new normal which is well out of the mainstream of eating. It's taken me awhile, but I've finally accepted that the gain was a kind of gift that is helping me now.
Back- after 6 months and +70 lbs
